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MK Fan Submission Discussion

Discuss the works posted by the members of our community.
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5animalsPosted: 07/14/2007 03:43 AMStatus ::
Scorpions Chamber Trial

Staring into the dimly lit chamber, Scorpion new fully well what awaited him. He had already passed the physical trials, and now had to retain the composure to endure a psychological onslaught. It was fitting for his greatest challenge to occur here, near the fountain of one thousand lost souls, as his own immortal essence had never found its own place of repose. If he were ever to escape this non-corporeal prison known as the Nether Realm, he would have to summon all of his indignation. ``How many years have I endured this hell,'' he pondered silently while taking a deep breath. ``No matter, my revenge lies forward, not behind.''

Fearless, and employing the techniques of the empty mind, he briskly walked through the chamber door. His only passing thoughts were those of vengeance and homicidal vigilantism.

The chamber torches crackled with a wicked omniscience, mocking his ever step. Sulfuric air squeezed his lungs as he scanned the room for any signs of movement. There was none. The sensual void left him with an unquenchable sense of frustration and dread.

``I must find this fountain, my fate lies forward.''

The average man, or demon for that matter, could not have made it so far in such a place. The footholds on the edge of the cavernous trail leading to the chamber were no more than six inches across and lead to an endless abyss. The air was intolerably hot, causing more than superficial sweating. The breeze that rose up from the pit below was rank with the unmistakable scent of death and decay. Were it not for his innate abilities, intense training and trusty spear, and demonic powers the fallen would likely not have been able to cross such a hellish rift himself.

The eerie glow of some abysmal machination came into Scorpions peripheral vision as he passed the farthest torch in the chamber. He was drawn to it, it was inescapable. His destiny lie within that glow. He could feel himself weakening, being overtaken, giving in. There was to much power.

``All these atrocities,'' he couldn't help but cry aloud.

``Avenger.....Avenger,'' the chamber voices whispered.

Who are you?

We are the souls of those murdered and betrayed, we are the collective despair and rage of a thousand broken dreams, we are the heart of indignation.

He was overtaken by pangs of guilt, hatred, and fear. Even a tortured soul like Scorpion had never felt such emotion.

Make it stop! I can't.....can't take it anymore.

We cannot, only you can end this suffering, only you can release us.

Why...why me?

Because Scorpion.....you are the one who has survived through it all. You have known betrayal, you have know injustice, you have walked in the Nether. Only you can emancipate us from our eternal slavery.

How, what do I have to do?

You must protect the one whom you have done injustice to.

I have done no injustice I.....

The brother, you must protect the brother. The sorcerer will find him, and his suffering will undue the balance of our fates. The balance of all our fates.

Never! I must destroy any trace of the Lin Kuei, then must pay for what they have done!

Then we are doomed, and your soul will remain entombed here for eternity. Your hate will be the downfall of us all.

Author Comments:Submission Information:
This is just a short, about Scorpion in the Nether Realm, that I wrote for practise, let me know what you think :-) If you like it, I will write more.
Submission Type:Fan Fiction
User Rating:
Size:592 Words
Dragon Points:
RaisnCainPosted: 07/14/2007 08:46 AMStatus ::


Rank ::
Visits::1136
Nationality::United States
RE: Fan Submission: Scorpions Chamber Trial

This isn't too bad 5animals. However, I am confused as to why Scorpion thinks the Lin Kuei must pay, when he knows it was all Quan Chi. Although, Scorpion is a hard character to write, with the retcon and all.

What is the setting in this passage? After MKA?

I like your writing style, really nice.

5/5

5animalsPosted: 07/14/2007 03:22 PMStatus ::


Rank ::
Visits::1568
Nationality::United States
RE: Fan Submission: Scorpions Chamber Trial

Thank you raisin cain for both the compliments and criticism. You are correct, I should have elaborated a little more on what the setting was. Basicaly I was just trying to put my spin on what Scorpion's thoughts were between the time of his exile in the Nether Realm and when he realized that Quan Chi was his true enemy. (Mk2-4ish) I suppose I worte it a little two quickly (30 minutes or so) and to be honest I don't know enough about the canon story behind the two. I really only know them from the games, not from any books or comics. I was just trying to make up my own version of what it would have been like. It wasn't meant to follow the canon events so much. As I said it was a bit of practice for me really. I just wanted to see if my style of thought and writing would be well received.

Edit: Blarg I just noticed a couple of grammar errors too :-/
-Were it not for his innate abilities, intense training {,} and trusty spear, and demonic powers the fallen {ninja} would likely not have been able to cross such a hellish rift himself.-

RaisnCainPosted: 07/14/2007 08:09 PMStatus ::


Rank ::
Visits::1136
Nationality::United States
RE: Fan Submission: Scorpions Chamber Trial

5animals Wrote:
Thank you raisin cain for both the compliments and criticism. You are correct, I should have elaborated a little more on what the setting was. Basicaly I was just trying to put my spin on what Scorpion's thoughts were between the time of his exile in the Nether Realm and when he realized that Quan Chi was his true enemy. (Mk2-4ish) I suppose I worte it a little two quickly (30 minutes or so) and to be honest I don't know enough about the canon story behind the two. I really only know them from the games, not from any books or comics. I was just trying to make up my own version of what it would have been like. It wasn't meant to follow the canon events so much. As I said it was a bit of practice for me really. I just wanted to see if my style of thought and writing would be well received.




Edit: Blarg I just noticed a couple of grammar errors too :-/


-Were it not for his innate abilities, intense training {,} and trusty spear, and demonic powers the fallen {ninja} would likely not have been able to cross such a hellish rift himself.-


Sure thing. But, I see your point of perspective on the passage. It's unique now that I see. You got good writing style, and if this is only practice, then it's still pretty good with small grammar errors which isn't a big deal. But, I'm also glad that you want to take a new direction with Scorpion, for his story now is overused and bleak.

Btw, I like your username, it's different, lol.

sibunadPosted: 08/24/2007 06:08 PMStatus ::


Rank ::
Visits::344
Nationality::United States
RE: Fan Submission: Scorpions Chamber Trial

that was nice even tho a bit of mistacks its great!!!!! 3624642/5 lol actually 5/5

BloodSplatter-ChainsawManPosted: 08/26/2007 02:10 PMStatus ::


Rank ::
Visits::1707
Nationality::United States
RE: Fan Submission: Scorpions Chamber Trial

Nice yob, 5animals. We need more people to write stuff like this for Scorpion.

RickfordPosted: 08/30/2007 11:11 PMStatus ::


Rank ::
Visits::87
Nationality::Canada
RE: Fan Submission: Scorpions Chamber Trial

scorpion thinks the lin kuei must pay because it was them who originally killed his clan, it was one of the sub zeros who killed originally.

Hello!
xtacticsPosted: 08/30/2007 11:14 PMStatus ::


Rank ::
Visits::5796
Nationality::Canada
RE: Fan Submission: Scorpions Chamber Trial

How the FUCK do you write like this? lol!

Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck.
RickfordPosted: 08/30/2007 11:15 PMStatus ::


Rank ::
Visits::87
Nationality::Canada
RE: Fan Submission: Scorpions Chamber Trial

That was a tight story. I believe it happens around the end of mk2? As the ending for scorpion states in mk2 that he was to be sworn to protect sub zero. Good job dude.

Hello!
ThePredator151Posted: 08/30/2007 11:25 PMStatus ::


Rank ::
Visits::1192
Nationality::United States
RE: Fan Submission: Scorpions Chamber Trial

Nice 5, I could "see it".

scorpion19973Posted: 09/22/2007 04:06 PMStatus ::


Rank ::
Visits::22
RE: Fan Submission: Scorpions Chamber Trial

please,oh please write more!ill be happy if you do. please!!!!!!!!!!!

SuperSonic296Posted: 03/06/2009 10:03 AMStatus ::


Rank ::
Visits::1
Nationality::United Kingdom
RE: Fan Submission: Scorpions Chamber Trial

Excelent! 5/5!
Spoilers: (Highlight to reveal)

immortal94Posted: 03/28/2009 07:14 PMStatus ::


Rank ::
Visits::1
Nationality::United Kingdom
RE: Fan Submission: Scorpions Chamber Trial

That was fantastic man!! coming from person myself who does martial arts.

OutworldKingExiledEmperorPosted: 09/06/2009 12:42 AMStatus ::


Rank ::
Visits::1
Nationality::United States
RE: Fan Submission: Scorpions Chamber Trial

This Was Really Great To Read If You Made This A Full Book I Would Buy It

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