Welcome! Welcome one and all to the first "Kharacter of the Week" discussion, as presented by your handsome, wonderful, and dubiously talented host, Garlador.

This is the first of what's going to be a weekly tirade of healthy character discussion and debate that allows me to get a lot of thoughts and feelings off my chest and out in the open, but not in a traditional rant sort of way. Hopefully, the mods will find this not just acceptable but encourageable.

And I figured I could start this weekly session off right by talking about a character I just exhausted myself talking about a few days ago...

Sheeva strategy (aka - I swear, if I do one more tele-stomp, my thumbs are gonna fall off)

...and whom I feel merits much greater discussion than she's been given: the four-armed Shokan lacking the Y-chromosome, Sheeva! So, let's get started, shall we?

WHO IS SHEEVA?
Sheeva is a four-armed, half-dragon warrior woman with a wicked mohawk.

(like this, but with four arms, horns, and zero Oscar-winning actress portrayals)

According to the games, she descends from a royal bloodline, making her, in some way, related to Prince Goro. In the games, she served as Queen Sindel's body guard...

(because, let's face it, that body needs guarding from groping fanboys)

...and held a particularly virile rivalry with Motaro.

(apparently she didn't appreciate his "hung like a horse" pick-up lines)

Her relevance pretty much vanished after MK3 (also her debut), making her one of those one-off characters that never got a chance to shine beyond that first game.

(Raz knows Sheeva's pain)

For appearances, she's always one of those love her/hate her characters. Some are quite unabashed about how they find Sheeva attractive...


(Beauty, thy name is a four-armed, three-fingered, two-toed, horn-headed, leopard-spotted half-dragon named Sheeva...)

... while others find her to be quite the opposite.

(though to be fair, Sonya Blade looked like a gorilla in the old games too)

Of course, only Sheeva has the self-confidence to rock the Borat mankini as her primary outfit.

(thankfully, Sheeva at least shaves her legs)

WHY IS SHEEVA IN THE SERIES?
Every Mortal Kombat roster begins with creating characters. How these characters are created follows the flowchart below:


Sheeva was created because Goro was popular. But, you see, Goro was awesome and overpowered, so they had to make Goro weaker so he didn't just win every fight. But how do you do that? Well, what's weaker than men?

Answer: WOMEN


Sheeva thus followed the highly mathematical formula that "something+boobs=awesome".


Thus, our first playable Shokan was born, with all the moves that Goro had, just none of his pants-soiling terror or health-bar depleting badassery, and added in with a healthy dose of sexuality mixed with monstrosity that left many people's genitals understandably confused.


Because the MK team is beyond clever in how they name things (Reptile is named Reptile because he's a green Reptile... Smoke is named Smoke because he's covered in Smoke and turns into Smoke...), Sheeva was named in tribute to the four-armed Hindu god of destruction, Shiva.

(I always knew the Shokan were really zen as f*ck....)

SHEEVA'S STORY-
As Story Mode so eloquently presented us, Sheeva is a thick-headed lackey that serves only to get beat up so the heroes can spout off spiffy one-liners.

(she's basically like one of these guys)

Story Mode, essentially, robs her of the two things she had going for her: one, she was the protector of Sindel, a close confident to the fallen queen that strove to ensure her safety to get on Kahn's good side so he'd show favor to her people. But, as Story Mode showed, she didn't really do that job.

(and Sindel kills everyone. So that bitch didn't need protecting. Everyone ELSE did.)

Secondly, Motaro gets hilariously killed by Raiden in the background, depriving Sheeva of her key rivalry and eventual betrayal.

("So I'm thinking we turn him into a rug and put him over there.")

She's last seen getting beat up by Kabal after she thinks Kabal is a robot (and amusingly enough, she doesn't even act like she wants to fight him, but, you know, she has four arms. DIE MONSTER!)

So that's her in Story Mode. On one hand, you can say she kinda got the shaft. Then again, she lived to see the end, so it could be worse.

(Sheeva:1, These Guys: 0)

But, moving on to her other appearances (including her DAMN ENDING), and we see Sheeva is actually quite a bit more complex. She's got morals, ambitions, fairness, justice, and more honor than practically anyone else in the game. She fights for her people, not for Kahn, and she does what's best for those she cares about and loves. In two out of three of her endings, she brings about peace and harmony (let's just ignore the Armageddon endings, which were terrible for everyone). She's a just ruler, a skilled leader, a brilliant tactician, and she holds no evil intent towards anyone she fights, really. Circumstances just put her on the losers bracket of ugly rejects that the heroes feel so smug about beating up.


(this guy isn't evil either but you want to kill him anyway)

So, what gives? Why isn't Sheeva shown in a better light outside of her non-canon endings where she routinely proves that, hey, she's not only a good person, she can rule all of Australia without complaints!


(her first act as leader of Australia was legalize "Mature" video games... so that probably had a hand in it)

Well, with Kahn gone, maybe Sheeva can finally do some good around the MK universe. Her biographies and endings always tend to paint her as a brave, selfless, honorable fighter that, ultimately, wishes to do the right thing by her people. With the new status quo in effect, I see no reason why she can't prove that she's as deep and versatile as her bedside kama sutra says she is.


(Johnny Cage wants to know how "deep" and "versatile" she is...)

SHEEVA'S FUTURE
At the end of the day, there's nothing really "wrong" with Sheeva. She's got a good backstory, good personality, good moves, good character connections, good potential, good fatalities, good voice acting, good moral quandaries...

... but she needs a better agent.

(step 1: drop this guy)

I'm pleased as punch that Sheeva was back in this game, kicking ass and taking names (in my hands at least), but while some come out of the game with hordes of new fans (like Stryker and Nightwolf), Sheeva's portrayal as the generic lackey ultimate hurt her.

(But if Liu Kang can crawl back from this, Sheeva can crawl back from anything)

Personally, I hope Sheeva makes the cut for MK10, this time on the side of the angels so we can get a few sessions in story mode playing as her to make people actually give a damn about this feisty four-armed femme fatale.

("I am Sheeva! Hear me roar!")

But that's what this discussion is partially for. I want to debate how people perceive Sheeva. Do you feel she's a waste of a space? Do you feel she's a solid addition to the roster? Do you feel she's a flawed concept with the potential to be polished into something amazing? Do you feel she's the best thing since sliced bread? (what was the best thing before sliced bread?) Or do you just want her to tele-stomp her way to the kitchen and let the big boys, Goro and Kintaro, play instead?



So, sound off! What's going on with Sheeva? Does she need more love? Would you give her another chance? Do you think she's already doing just fine for herself? Do you think she's the hottest thing since Mass Effect's chicken-legged Tali? Do you wish to douse her in gasoline and set her on fire? Do you just not care? Well, then speak out.


(anybody that loves "Ninja Mime" is alright in my book)

And if you have any suggestions on who my next weekly character breakdown should be over, feel free to drop me some requests and I'll see what I can do.

Okay, thanks everyone. Garlador out.