Rest assured, the video review will be coming soon enough.

Okay... this story is... really not that good. It’s not. This storyline is many things but it is not: A. Faithful to the original storyline. Or B. Even remotely close to a good story on its’ own. Now before we start, let me say I have no ill intent or disrespect towards NRS. I’m sure they worked their asses off at making everything in this game as good as possible and I am appreciative of the fact that they went out of their way to MAKE a story mode in the first place, and if any fighting game series CAN do this and do it well, it’s Mortal Kombat because of it’s deep mythology.

Now, the first problem with the story mode. Character chapters. I know MK vs. DC did this and to be fair, I was fine with that since it was a noncanon what if story, but this is canon, this is the beginning of a new story, character chapters limit the storytelling with these characters especially those with deep, integral stories like say Liu Kang, Kitana, Scorpion or Sub-Zero. You really expect me to believe Johnny Cage didn’t have any fights during MK2 or 3? Now I thought it would’ve been nice to switch back and forth between characters, but the creator himself told me that they wanted to give you time to train with the characters. Well, honestly 4-5 fights isn’t enough time to become an expert with the character anyway and not to mention, it’s still jarring. After you beat Liu Kang’s chapter, who plays as a balanced type of character who can outpoke and outspeed anyone, you play as Jax who plays as a grappler, the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of the kind of character you just played as forcing you to adjust your playstyle anyway! How is THAT not jarring?! There’s plenty of other modes for training as characters: Arcade and of course, TRAINING mode. That being said, the way it transitions seamlessly from a cutscene to a fight and then back to a cutscene is very well done.

Let’s start with the beginning of the story. With Shao Kahn beating Raiden around like a ragdoll and about to kill him, Raiden sends a message back to his MK1 self. Why doesn’t Raiden send a message back to before Deadly Alliance? The events of Armageddon had little to do with MK1-3, just tell him “Hey, Shang Tsung and Quan Chi are gonna kill Liu Kang real soon. ...make sure he doesn’t get a broken neck, okay?” Actually, wouldn’t it make more sense for “He Must Win” to refer to Taven at the end of Armageddon? Since it was supposed to either he or Daegon who was supposed to beat Blaze, this would’ve made sense. Instead, no “He Must Win” refers to Shao Kahn when he tries to merge the realms at the end of MK3... which is confusing because I thought in the original story Shao Kahn DID merge the realms and the whole plot of the original MK3 was that they had to take it back.

So it opens appropriately enough with the beginning of the first tournament... (no scenes on the boat? Admittingly a minor disappointment) Shang Tsung walks out with.. Kitana, Jade and Baraka who are... also at this tournament for some reason. Nightwolf is also there... wait a minute Nightwolf is at the Mortal Kombat 1 tournament? When the hell was that ever true? There’s Sub-Zero with.. ...is that Cyrax and Sektor? Why the hell are they here? There’s Scorpion... ...is that Quan Chi standing next Scorpion? Why the hell is HE here?! Quan Chi has no place at this tournament and why is he wearing his tattoos and amulet if... ...you know what, we’ll get to Quan Chi later.

So anyway, we begin with Johnny Cage flirting with Sonya after Raiden receives his visions. This is done well admittingly, exactly as I pictured these two characters. So Shang Tsung suddenly floats down and declares Johnny Cage will fight first. ...okay, I guess he’s first on the bracket and he must fight.. “Reptile”... who I thought was supposed to be hidden inside the Pit but... eh, whatever... so Cage wins and then he immediately has to fight.... Baraka. ....what... wha... I... I.... aren’t there BRACKETS to these tournament?! So he wins again... Shang Tsung yells at Cage to kill Baraka... and he doesn’t and Shang Tsung goes... “Oh, okay.” ...you see, the thing is I always thought fatalities were optional at the end of the match like in the gameplay, it was the winner’s choice if they wanted to kill the loser or not.

Although one thing bugs me, why is Johnny Cage so casual about seeing Baraka? I know he’s a goofball, but seeing a guy with SWORDS COMING OUT OF HIS ARMS and incredibly nasty teeth is not something you see everyday although he is appropriately skeptical about the whole Outworld thing. So he goes, fights Sonya for some really weird and weak reason and then he must save the damsel-in-distress who he put in danger after Kano hilariously throws him off the Pit.

So after that Johnny Cage’s chapter ends with Sonya warming up to him. A little too quickly I might add as this is something that should’ve built up over the story... but that’s what happens when each character only gets one chapter. So anyway, Sonya goes down to the dungeons to rescue Jax... who is.. ...wait a minute, JAX IS AT MK1 NOW?! ...now to be fair, Sonya’s storyline in MK1 WAS about rescuing her captured men and that if she lost, they would be executed and that was mentioned here but still having it be Jax is a retcon. Now granted Jax was her CO, so have it be Jax who is speaking to Sonya on the radio just a little while ago. That would’ve made sense.

Shang Tsung makes Sonya fight Sub-Zero... ...wait a minute, Sub-Zero is fighting for Shang Tsung? I thought he was there to assassinate him?! To jump forward a bit, Cyrax says they are there paid by Shang Tsung to assassinate his enemies. A complete reversal to the original story! What the hell?! ...anyway, let’s just skip forward a bit... Sonya tries to get Jax off the island, fights Kitana and Jade, then Shang Tsung blows up the helicopter, she fights Kano yadda yadda.. nothing important really happens in this chapter.

So now Chapter 3 you play as Scorpion... who Shang Tsung declares is the next challenger and wants someone to fight him... ...which is once again bullshit as there are brackets to tournaments, everyone knows this and yet they are deliberately ignoring it! So Raiden sees another one of his visions which is Kung Lao fighting Baraka... which is a retcon not from this game but actually from Shaolin Monks. Before we continue, let’s talk about this for a moment.

Kung Lao’s original character from Mortal Kombat 1-Deadly Alliance was generally established as being at his heart, a man of peace who really preferred to not fight. He wasn’t at the Mortal Kombat 1 Tournament because he preferred not to despite his namesake. He even disappeared after the invasion of Outworld was thwarted and allowed his allies to believe him to be dead so that he could live his life in peace, but in Shaolin Monks he was changed to be the arrogant rival of Liu Kang, like an annoying younger brother, and who actually wanted to be champion instead of Liu Kang. Unfortunately, only NRS seems to like this new Kung Lao.

Anyway, Scorpion beats Kung Lao and then he must fight Nightwolf right after... yeah, Nightwolf being here is admittingly not too bad of a retcon, but it’s still a little odd. Is he already acquainted with Raiden and Liu Kang, I mean he’s standing next to them quite a few times, but he completely disappears during the MK2 story so he might as well have not been here.

Now, here’s what I do like... Scorpion does not care about fighting either of them. All he wants is do is fight Sub-Zero. THIS is what Scorpion should be doing. This is all he cares about at this point. So anyway, after this he declares to Shang Tsung he wants to fight Sub-Zero but Quan Chi tells him to wait. ....okay, let’s go into Quan Chi now and get it out of the way.

QUAN CHI HAS NO BUSINESS BEING AT THIS TOURNAMENT! Quan Chi should not be standing next to Shang Tsung because you would think with Quan Chi being there and Sub-Zero now working FOR Shang Tsung instead of trying to kill him, Sub-Zero would say: “Uh, hey I remember you. I remember what happened the LAST time you hired me. No thanks.” Considering I’m sure he feels Shinnok and Quan Chi are a little peeved that he foiled their plans so I don’t think he’d want to be anywhere near Quan Chi and let’s go into his appearance. Quan Chi should not be wearing his Deadly Alliance outfit. He should be wearing his Mortal Kombat 4 outfit at this point in the story. He did not get those tattoos until Deadly Alliance, that was a plot point and he is wearing Shinnok’s amulet on his belt. You’d think Raiden, Sub-Zero or Shinnok would notice: “Hey, wait a minute. Why are you wearing that on your belt?”

Now admittingly Quan Chi did need to appear SOMEWHERE in the story, but he shouldn’t have this many scenes, he should appear sparingly, have a scene where he speaks to Shao Kahn in private about the deal he has with Shinnok about Sindel’s soul. I mean, it’s not like they’re gonna retcon that, right? Quan Chi should be having scenes with Shinnok in the Netherrealm but we’ll get into that later. Raiden finally decides to take some action, telling Scorpion he will ask the Elder Gods to resurrect Scorpion’s clan if he agrees to spare Sub-Zero since he foresaw Sub-Zero returning as Noob Saibot. I know it refers to Boon and Tobias and the whole thing about him being the original Sub-Zero wasn’t thought up until Deception (but made a whole lot of sense) I don’t know why anyone would name their wraith and primary enforcer “Noob Saibot”.

So Scorpion enters the palace where Human Cyrax and Human Sektor who strangely have robotic codenames even though they’re not cyborgs yet talk about the cyber initiative. They have an argument with Scorpion and Cyrax shoves him to which Shang Tsung declares it is a challenge and Scorpion must fight both Cyrax and Sektor. ...how the hell is THAT fair?! How can you make someone fight 2 people at the same time in a tournament?! And it was Cyrax who shoved Scorpion, Sektor didn’t do a damn thing!

Anyway, after that Scorpion finally gets to fight Sub-Zero and transports him to Hell, Sub-Zero knows it’s the Netherrealm because hey, he’s been there before. So they fight, Scorpion wins and Quan Chi appears and tells Scorpion to kill Sub-Zero... now here it actually makes sense for Quan Chi to appear and probably should’ve been his first appearance in the story. Scorpion refuses because he has beaten him... also a callback to in Mythologies where after Sub-Zero had already beaten Scorpion and yet killed him anyway. But considering the other changes made, I’m sure this was unintentional.

Quan Chi baits Scorpion into killing Sub-Zero by showing him images of his clan and family being murdered by the Lin Kuei and Sub-Zero. I like this scene a lot actually. It really humanizes Scorpion and makes his plight sympathetic. Granted, it’s a little weird that the Lin Kuei would be using horses and wearing topknots. What is this feudal Japan? The deaths of Scorpion and his family only happened 2 years before MK1! Anyway, Sub-Zero tries he didn’t do it, but Scorpion is too pissed off to listen... and just like before, Bi-Han, the original Sub-Zero dies at the hands of Scorpion... and we get a nice moment where Scorpion returns to the tournament and full of shame shows them Bi-Han’s skull.

With that, we begin Cyrax’s chapter... Cyrax wasn’t even in MK1 so I don’t know why he’s being given a chapter here but anyway Raiden tries to convince him that the Cyber Initiative is wrong and he should leave the Lin Kuei. You know, I’m pretty sure in the original story Cyrax and Sektor were already automated when Sub-Zero and Smoke returned to the Lin Kuei temple, I think the only reason they retconned this so that a certain character’s fate could be changed... .....but anyway, back to the matter at hand, I’m unsure if Raiden had a vision of Cyrax and Sektor as cyborgs or if he already knew about the Cyber Initiative. It’s not really clear... either way, it doesn’t really matter.

So we’ll get through this quickly, Cyrax fights Sheeva and Baraka... (wait, SHEEVA shows up before Goro in the story?! ....uh.. eh, whatever) Then he has to fight Johnny Cage, but refuses to kill him... which leads me to believe Raiden’s words to him had nothing to do with the visions he’s getting because otherwise wouldn’t Cyrax have killed Johnny Cage without Raiden saying those words? Also, wasn’t Cyrax eliminated since he lost to Scorpion a little while ago? ....whatever, anyway Cyrax and Sektor fight and Cyrax announces he’s leaving the Lin Kuei... and yet the next time we see him he’s a cyborg anyway so I don’t know what happened. I guess he was captured offscreen. Either way, Raiden’s already up to trying to change two things or... one I don’t know and he’s failed. Well... he won’t be failing at changing things any longer.

So finally, we play as Liu Kang... first he fights Ermac... who to be fair I think was hidden in the original MK1 and was made into a character after a glitch so... yeah, okay, I’m more accepting of this than the other characters. Apparently Liu Kang is the only Earthrealm warrior left... which once again makes me wonder just how the hell this tournament works!! Did Sonya even have a match?! Who the hell did she lose to? He wins and Kitana says that she will ensure he does not reach the final challenge... I’m confused isn’t Kitana supposed to be feigning loyalty to Shao Kahn... I guess she’s just playing the part? Anyway, Liu Kang is doing his katas while Raiden mentors him. I like this, it’s how it should be. A real mentor-student vibe here. I like it. Finally. Anyway, Kitana attacks him and Liu Kang just kinda treats it as a sparring practice... and... did he just kick Kitana in the butt?! ....he did! Haha. I could watch that over and over again.

So he wins and refuses to kill her. Admittingly, I like the dialogue here. It’s very charming... although why is Kitana asking him to kill her for failing? I thought she was feigning loyalty... ....we’ll get into this when we get to Kitana’s chapter. So now Liu Kang has to fight... Scorpion and Quan Chi?! ...WHAT THE HELL?! QUAN CHI HAS NO PLACE FIGHTING IN THIS TOURNAMENT AND WHY IS SCORPION HERE?! SCORPION’S SUPPOSED TO TURN TO ASH AFTER HE KILLS SUB-ZERO WHICH HE ALREADY DID?! YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT SCORPION IS JUST QUAN CHI’S LITTLE BITCH NOW?! INSTEAD OF THE ROGUE NINJA SPECTRE HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE?! ...okay, okay, I’m calm... somewhat.

So now Liu Kang fights Goro.. nothing to be said, it happens more or less how I envisioned and Goro is perfectly in character. Although if Goro’s supposed to the reigning champion at this point, it’s a little weird nobody’s fought him... anyway so finally the final battle begins against Shang Tsung. I’m ending it the way it should end: with a Flying Kick.

So Liu Kang wins, massive celebrating, the bad guys leave... even though I think Shang Tsung is supposed to blow up the island to spite them.. and why is Kano leaving with them and shouldn’t Sonya and Jax be chasing after him? Oh, look Raiden’s amulet cracked some more. This isn’t going to lead to him making any stupid choices, is it?

So that ends the MK1 part of the story... all in all, this was probably the most faithful part of the whole story to the original story. Sure, it’s a little annoying that they introduced some characters a little earlier than they should have and a few annoying retcons here and there such as Sub-Zero’s mission being retconned and QUAN CHI HAS NO PLACE AT THE TOURNAMENT! But overall... not horrible... but let’s just say when we get to MK2 and ESPECIALLY MK3 that’s when the shit hits the fan...

So we open MK2... more or less, it’s very faithful to the original opening despite no mention of Goro being apparently dead. Shang Tsung is able to convince Shao Kahn to spare him by changing the rules... so we get back to the Shaolin Temples, Liu Kang is being given a medal for his victory. Jax converses with Raiden.. smoking a cigar... at a Shaolin Temple? Shame on you, Jax! Anyway, so Shang Tsung shows up... now young for some reason... yeah, the MK2 comic explained that Shao Kahn did this so that Shang Tsung could pass through the dimensional portals unrecognized by the Elder Gods but that’s never said here. We don’t even see Shang Tsung get his youth back. So anyway, Shang Tsung makes a challenge for a rematch. Raiden.. actually showing a brain unlike the rest of the story refuses. So the Tarkatan attack on the Shaolin Temples takes place. Jax tries to fight them, but gets knocked out... you have to wonder why they didn’t chop him up? Anyway, he wakes up and finds that during the battle Sonya was captured... offscreen storytelling, we get a lot of that in this story.

So they go into Outworld but Raiden tells Liu Kang that since him defeating Shang Tsung did nothing to prevent Armageddon despite it... y’know keeping Earthrealm from getting merged with Outworld, that perhaps he should not be the one to defeat Shao Kahn... this isn’t gonna any negative effects on anything. So let’s keep this chapter brief, they save Sonya early, why Raiden thinks this will prevent Armageddon I have no idea, it’s not like Sonya ever did anything important in the old timeline. That’s pretty much Jax’s chapter in a nutshell. Though I’m a little confused why Kano never ends up getting chained up like he did the old timeline that’s never really explained.

Anyway, so now we see Smoke and the new Sub-Zero, Smoke mentions that “Tundra” is taking a risk taking on the identity of Sub-Zero... which is true, he admits but feels it’s the best way to honor his murdered brother who he wants to find out the cause of his death. ...now, here’s the thing Sub-Zero was really in Outworld to finish Bi-Han’s mission but since that was retconned out well... they’re also there to avoid being turned into robots. Which actually happened after MK2 and before MK3 so another retcon. My God, these writers don’t know how to keep their own continuity straight! ...if you guys wanted to make an alternate timeline with a completely different continuity, fine, but then you shouldn’t have had that whole time travel element then things would’ve been fine. Anyway, they decide to split up... which is usually a very stupid idea when you’re being pursued, just ask the Scooby Doo gang. So Smoke has a pointless fight with Kitana for no real reason, just padding. Then he sneaks up on Shang Tsung and Kano... honestly, Shang Tsung should never be shown holding a rocket launcher but it does make sense that Kano would be providing them these kinds of things because it was mentioned in Kano’s MK3 bio that the reason why Shao Kahn kept Kano alive was because he could teach his minions how to use Earth’s weapons. ...once again, that happens in MK3 and not MK2... ....ugh, these retcons keep piling up! Oh before we get to the next fight... before splitting up Sub-Zero and Smoke give each other a motto something about “Be as silent as the night and as deadly as the dawn” and after 5 seconds of spying Smoke announces his presence... so much for the first part. Now you’d think as an assassin that Smoke would sneak up on them and then attack. Hell, he’s got all these awesome smoke powers why the hell doesn’t he use them?!

So anyway, two fights and now Sektor who is already a cyborg... I really should stop pointing out all the retcons as it’s gonna do nothing in the end but.. MY GOD!!! Raiden and Johnny Cage conveniently arrive just as Smoke is about to be taken... Raiden has a vision of Smoke becoming a cyborg... it’s rather convenient that these visions all keep showing up just as they are happening. Raiden then saves Smoke from his original fate. ...remember this scene folks because this is gonna be very infuriating at the end of the next chapter.

So now Sub-Zero is looking for information on Bi-Han’s death. He fights Cyrax who was obviously captured and converted offscreen... ...more offscreen storytelling, what the hell. Jax and Sonya run into him and are a little confused because y’know they saw Sub-Zero get burned to a crisp so then Ermac attacks and he... crushes Jax’s arms... you got to love how in cutscenes Ermac is fully capable of crushing someone’s arms with no effort yet when you fight him, he’s easily defeatable. Why doesn’t Ermac just blow up all the good guys heads and there you go, the bad guys win. Sonya stops the bleeding with her... ring blasts... what the HELL?! How does THAT work?! If anything that would make things worse, cause internal scarring. “Oh God, I’m bleeding!” “*gasps* I’ll help you! Ring blast!” “AHHHHH! OH GOD, YOU DUMB BITCH! WHY THE HELL YOU’D DO THAT?!”

So anyway, Sub-Zero found out from them that Scorpion killed his brother. So he decides to go to the Coliseum to challenge Scorpion... leaving Sonya with information of where a portal is to take Jax back to Earthrealm. ...okay then. So Kitana is fighting a Shaolin Monk, who is he? What’s he doing here? I have no idea. I don’t care. Anyway, she beats him and the Monk tells her to kill him, remembering how Liu Kang spared her after she said similar words to him she refuses. Shao Kahn kills him anyway... so then Sub-Zero steps up and demands to fight Scorpion... ...is that Quan Chi there? ...again?! AGGGGGGHH! ...this raises a point shouldn’t Quan Chi be surprised and say something like: “Hey, wait a minute. I had Scorpion kill you so I could turn you into Noob Saibot. ....oops. Shouldn’t have said that out loud. ...fuck.” So first, Sub-Zero has to fight Reptile... who is just a jobber in story mode. We’ll try to get into that some time later. Now finally he gets to fight Scorpion who is, unlike Quan Chi, surprised to see Sub-Zero. Once again, it’s bullshit that Scorpion can only come out of Hell when Quan Chi wants him to. He’s supposed to be a wild card, a neutral rogue ninja whose actions are unpredictable to both sides. He could turn the tide in either side’s favor. So Sub-Zero says that he is Bi-Han’s family and clan and that he fights for his honor. Now I kinda hoped here that Scorpion would have some kind of reaction to the “family and clan” line but it does make sense that he’d get pissed off at the thought that Bi-Han had honor.

So they fight and Sub-Zero’s about to kill Scorpion... ..again I mean he’s already dead so... but then.. he gets ambushed by the Lin Kuei. They offer Shao Kahn their allegiance in exchange for taking Sub-Zero back to the Lin Kuei Temple to be automated into a cyborg.. Raiden, Johnny Cage and Smoke arrive. Smoke tries to intervene but Raiden stops him saying that if he interferes he’ll be captured too. ....WHHHHHHHHHAAATTTT?! What happened no less than 5 minutes ago or something? When they tried to capture Smoke. What did Raiden do: HE ZAPPED THEM and did they try to recapture him? NO. You could argue he couldn’t do anything if front of Shao Kahn and the Outworlders. But let’s go back to MK1, when Sonya was trying to bust out Jax. Raiden helped them out RIGHT IN FRONT OF SHANG TSUNG! So Sub-Zero is taken to... become a... cyborg... ....I’m gonna save this rage out for later. But let me tell you, NRS, when we get to this part you are gonna hear it.

So Shao Kahn scolds Kitana... when really, it would be more fitting if he was scolding Mileena about this while praising Kitana... speaking of Mileena, where is she? So now Raiden decides to go turn Kitana to their side... is this a “hot flash” as Johnny Cage says or he is doing this on his own? I don’t know. It isn’t clear... So Kitana has an argument with Jade. Then Smoke and Johnny Cage try to reason her, she fights them and beats them... even though she lost to Smoke by himself just a little while ago. Consistency is nice. Raiden tells Kitana to go to the Flesh Pits to find out more about her past. ...how the hell he knows this I have no idea. So Jade tries to stop Kitana, Kitana beats her and goes in.. and finds a bunch.. of clones... that look like her... ...no... no... listen, I have put up with God knows how many retcons already, just please not anymore! You couldn’t have possibly screwed this up... ....oh my God, it’s true.. Mileena has only now just been created by Shang Tsung. ....MILEENA WAS NOT ONLY JUST RECENTLY CREATED! SHE AND KITANA WERE BELIEVED TO BE SISTERS UNTIL SHE FOUND OUT THE TRUTH. BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT!!!!

Oh God, I’m only halfway through this bullshit story. So Kitana tries to get Shao Kahn to punish Shang Tsung, but he congratulates him and now he is glad he has a “true’ daughter.. with a freaking messed up mouth. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! MILEENA IS NOT THE GOOD DAUGHTER! SHE WAS CREATED OUT OF FEAR THAT KITANA WOULD ONE DAY BETRAY SHAO KAHN, BUT SOMETHING WENT WRONG. MILEENA HAD INSECURITIES ABOUT BEING A CLONE, SHE WANTED EVERYTHING KITANA HAD DUE TO THOSE INSECURITIES ABOUT BEING A CLONE! SHE WAS NOT FAVORED BY SHAO KAHN!!! And on that note, KITANA ALREADY KNEW HER LIFE WAS A LIE BY THIS POINT AND WAS SECRETLY WORKING AGAINST HIM WHILE FEIGNING LOYALTY TO HIM!!! KITANA AND MILEENA’S MK2 BIOS CLEARLY EXPLOIT THIS AS FUCKING RETCONS!!!!

So they take Kitana away who despite being a fully competent fighter... doesn’t try to escape. This is what a certain other famous reviewer calls “Dumbass in Distress syndrome”. So Jade says she’s failed Kitana and wants to save her... how did you fail her Jade? By LOSING to her? ..anyway, Jade goes to break Kitana out, she has a fight with Baraka and then Sheeva.. who as Jade herself points out “not much of a jailer”. So Jade goes to untie Kitana but there’s a noise and Kitana tells her to go get Raiden. Why Jade can’t just untie Kitana I don’t know. Or better yet, why doesn’t she just pick her up and carry her? She doesn’t seem to be tied to anything!

So anyway, Jade goes to find Raiden, but she fights Mileena who is nothing more than little child and a one dimensional psychopath in this game. ...lame. Anyway, so Raiden shows up with the Earthrealm warriors finally bringing Liu Kang and Kung Lao into the MK2 part of the story who were said to be off trying to save their Shaolin Masters. Did they succeed? I don’t know, they never say. It would’ve been nice to actually PLAY this part with a tagteam of Liu Kang and Kung Lao. So Smoke gets upset and attacks Jade thinking Mileena was Kitana. Uh, Smoke, you’ve fought Kitana twice over the course of an hour maybe? You should know that Kitana was wearing BLUE instead of pink!!!! Now you could argue that maybe he’s not thinking straight because he’s upset over Sub-Zero but he fought Kitana literally RIGHT after he was taken. Geez, Raiden, you saved the dumbass ninja. Way to go.

So Liu Kang and Kung Lao go to save Kitana after an admittingly amusing dialogue scene with Johnny Cage. So now we are introduced to Noob Saibot for the first time. ...yeah, okay and then Goro appears..... ...GORO?! But his MK2 bio said that he was missing and presumed dead after MK1 so why is he... ......ugh, I should stop pointing out these retcons but there are so fucking many!!!! So anyway, Liu Kang and Kung Lao go to the Coliseum and see Kitana chained up. The writers must think that they were so clever and that it was so necessary to change this so that Kitana got chained up there instead of Sonya. Haha. So very clever. I am amazed. (....ugh.) So Liu Kang goes over to free Kitana because Raiden pointed out earlier that Liu Kang was not “He Who Must Win”. ...so Raiden decides that maybe it’s Kung Lao who looks eager. ...ugh, Shaolin Monks Kung Lao and they were doing such a better job with him until now.

So Kung Lao fights Shang Tsung and Quan Chi... who once again should not be here at this point. He beats them and fights Kintaro who finally shows up in this story and then... Shao Kahn snaps his neck.. ....really? That’s how you kill Kung Lao? How about when Shao Kahn’s invasion starts, he gets injured but keeps fighting until his very last breath or he sacrifices himself to save Liu Kang... ...no, it can’t be true. Next thing you’ll be telling me is that we’ll be seeing half the roster get killed off anticlimactically in the last thirty minutes. ....

So Liu Kang gets pissed, fights Shao Kahn and plunges a hole through his chest. Earthrealm wins and thus are deemed safe from Shao Kahn.. not that this is gonna stop the next part of the story. Also did you notice that Liu Kang freed Kitana without the bad guys doing anything to stop him? ...yeah, Raiden, why the fuck didn’t you save Sub-Zero again? So Liu Kang and Kitana are sad about Kung Lao’s death. ....I don’t know why Kitana is I mean, she barely even knew him. Raiden looks at his amulet and surprise, surprise... it isn’t healed.

Gee, Raiden, maybe meddling with the timestream and getting people killed before they’re supposed to be isn’t the best way to be going about things. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ......THIS STORY SUCKS!!! Oh but I’m not done yet. There’s still 5 more chapters which cover the MK3 part of the story. ...oh God, 5 more chapters of this shit... ...let’s get this over with.

So anyway, Shao Kahn turns out to be alive and well because Quan Chi healed him... ....yeah oh there’s Motaro! Why are he and the Shokan even in the same room together? ...why are Goro and Kintaro here? Aren’t they both supposed to be assumed dead? ...where’s Rain? Anyway, Shao Kahn is pissed because he can’t claim Earthrealm for himself but Quan Chi says that there may be a solution and he resurrects Sindel who’s suicide keeps him from setting foot on Earthrealm. ....wait a minute... ...(yet another fucking retcon) THE PLAN WAS ALWAYS TO RESURRECT SINDEL! THE OUTWORLD TOURNAMENT WAS A DIVERSION! AND QUAN CHI WASN’T THE ONE WHO RESURRECTED SINDEL! IT WAS SHANG TSUNG AND THE SHADOW PRIESTS! QUAN CHI AND SHINNOK WERE INVOLVED IN SINDEL’S RESURRECTION BUT ONLY SO THAT IT WOULD BE RESURRECTED ON EARTHREALM AND TAINTED WITH EVIL!!! THIS WOULD GIVE SHAO KAHN A LOOPHOLE AROUND THE RULES AND STEP THROUGH TO RECLAIM HIS QUEEN!!! UGH, THESE FUCKING SO-CALLED WRITERS. WHY CAN’T THEY KEEP CONTINUITY STRAIGHT? THAT’S YOUR JOB AS WRITERS!

Anyway, we begin with Styrker... who is actually kind of badass in this game. I like him.. I can’t believe it. If they did anything right, they actually made Stryker awesome. So Stryker is fighting off the invasion which begun offscreen... (ugh) Stryker has a partner whose name is... ...Kabal. ....admittingly this isn’t as bad of a retcon but still. So they fight random jobbers... Raiden floats down to talk to them... gets another flash and kills Motaro saving Johnny Cage from dying. ...wait a minute, all the other stuff they retconned out and yet they put THIS back in? I thought Vogel said this never happened and it was just bad writing from one of his movies? Anyway, it ends with Nightwolf finally showing up again.. and Kabal is horribly burned by Kintaro. So yeah, they got this mostly right here.

So Kano saves Kabal... and he fights his way out of Outworld... pretty badass actually and he makes it back to Earth where he is confronted by none other than... ...Cyber Sub-Zero...

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Cyber Sub-Zero? They had the GALL and the AUDACITY to turn one of their icons and greatest characters into a CYBORG?! ....NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHY?! WHY TURN SUB-ZERO INTO A CYBORG?! ...HIS STORY WAS FINE THE WAY IT WAS! WHY SWITCH SUB-ZERO AND SMOKE?! YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU’VE RUINED ABOUT SUB-ZERO?! FINE, I’LL TELL YOU.

Sub-Zero had the greatest character development. He started off as someone in his brother’s shadow as an assassin as Bi-Han was widely regarded as the greatest assassin for the Lin Kuei but when the Lin Kuei chose to automate them into cyborgs? He said no, I am keeping my humanity and you know what happens to him from there? He steps out of his brother’s shadow and becomes one of the most morally aware characters in the series. He doesn’t fall to his brother’s fate and when Sektor tries to take over the Lin Kuei before Deadly Alliance? Sub-Zero appears to challenge him. A perfect contrast, Sektor who chose to give up his humanity for power vs. Sub-Zero who chose to keep it. The Lin Kuei thought they were making their assassins stronger and better by making them into cyborgs, but what did Sub-Zero do when he faced Sektor someone far more powerful and advanced than he, a normal human. He won.

That’s right, he proved the Lin Kuei wrong by choosing humanity and compassion. He reformed the clan to be a force for good even taking a pupil of his own. He became a hero. Sub-Zero chose his own destiny, Smoke tragically never had control of his. His unwilling automation into a cyborg and tragic loss of his humanity gave us a reason to care about Smoke to sympathize with him, he’s a side character in the story but this gave him something, it gave us a reason to like him, but now he has nothing going for him, he’s just a side character.

ALL OF THAT IS RUINED BECAUSE THEY DECIDED TO TURN SUB-ZERO INTO A CYBORG!!!!

So anyway, they restore Sub.. you know what, I’m not even gonna call him “Sub-Zero”.. “Cybernetic Abomination”. Now this is disappointing, you see when I always envisioned Sub-Zero and Cyber Smoke’s confrontation, I always imagined that Sub-Zero would be trying to appeal to Smoke’s human soul to emerge and Smoke would be seen struggling with his soul trying to break through his programming and as Cyrax and Sektor are about to kill Sub-Zero, Smoke breaks free from his programming and saves him but here the programming is being undone by... counterprogramming? Lame.

Oh, there’s one thing I forgot about because I was too upset over Cybernetic Abomination. The bad guys drag Motaro’s corpse before Shao Kahn and they’re all upset. Why do the Shokans care? They hated him, they should be happy he’s dead unless I’m missing something. Sindel volunteers to finish what Motaro started and Shao Kahn... takes Shang Tsung’s soul and powers up Sindel with it. ...really? That’s how you kill off Shang Tsung? You’d think they’d give him a more dignified end considering he was the first villain of the series and all. Give him one last epic fight with Liu Kang on top of a rooftop and have Shang Tsung fall to an epic end or something. ANYTHING would be better than this.

So anyway back to Cybernetic Abomination. He saves some soldiers, beats Goro and Kintaro.. (which I reluctantly admit is rather impressive) and sees Quan Chi about to activate a soulnado which will empower everyone on Earth’s soul with Shao Kahn’s... ....once again shoehorning Quan Chi into a place where he doesn’t belong. Not to mention Quan Chi doesn’t know how to make a soulnado... in Deadly Alliance, it’s said he used Shinnok’s Amulet to open them up. So... another retcon. So Cybernetic Abomination then meets Noob Saibot and finds out that he is his brother. Now this divergence from the timeline makes sense because he never found this out until Deception, however because the Lin Kuei sided with Shao Kahn during the invasion, this is why he comes into contact with his brother. So they fight... and then Raiden says they must stop the soulnado... ...but Raiden, Shao Kahn was defeated even with the souls of Earthrealm mortals so why do you think this is necessary to stop again?

So Nightwolf shows up, fights Quan Chi.. and kicks Noob Saibot where he.. blows up? ...really? Is that how Noob Saibot goes out? Why Nightwolf? Why doesn’t Scorpion or Sub-Zero obliterate him? Then again, I guess he’d be easy to come back. So Nightwolf goes back... and then it still doesn’t do anything... Raiden gets frustrated and decides he must speak to the Elder Gods... and takes Liu Kang with him. Don’t ask why, he just does. Anyway, of course, with appropriate timing, the bad guys find where the good guys are hiding and attack. How the hell did they find them? Did they trace Cybernetic Abomination back or something? I don’t know, they don’t bother to explain it.

Anyway, massive fight scene starts so we finally get to see all of our heroes kicking ass. Sektor beats Smoke around like a ragdoll even though Smoke beat him earlier. Yeah, remind me again what purpose switching Smoke and Sub-Zero’s fates around was? So anyway, more fighting and then Sindel shows up. Kitana goes “Mother”.... Y’know, I was hoping more into Kitana’s reaction as to how she feels about the fact that her mother was used to open this portal and she’s evil, y’know, see some of her torment (no angst but still show how bothered she is) why couldn’t we see more of this? Oh wait, character chapters, right.

So they clearly outnumber Sindel like 10-1 and yet they charge her one at a time and... ....get killed? ....Sindel is murdering them all like that? ...I am watching Earth’s mightiest warriors die like pansies. ....oh God, this is the STUPIDEST and LAMEST way to kill off characters I have EVER seen. How the hell does Cybernetic Abomination die from an uppercut? ....Cybernetic Abomination is dead?

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YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So Kitana tries to reason with Sindel but she tries to suck out her soul... then Nightwolf gets up and unlike the other idiot heroes remembers that he has powers and uses them. So we cut to Raiden and Liu Kang and the Elder Gods say they can’t because he’s not actually merging the realms. Which is stupid... you see in the original story, the Elder Gods not being complete douchebags like they are in this game agreed to spare the souls of the warriors.

So anyway, they go back and they see Nightwolf sacrificing himself to kill Sindel... ...at least Nightwolf got to do something... THAT’S how you kill a character. So then... Kitana.. dies in Liu Kang’s arms. ....really? Kitana, one the most significant and important characters (storywise) of MK2 and MK3 is... treated with no respect? Her entire story is nearly retconned, she’s treated as a victim and to top off the indignity she is... STUFFED INTO A FRIDGE?! .....AAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Liu Kang then goes on about how their deaths achieved nothing and calls Raiden out for his idiocy. I... agree with every word he just said... Raiden just stands there shocked that nothing is working. So Raiden decides to go to speak to... Quan Chi... ....WHATTTT?!

So now... Raiden goes to Hell... which is another retcon as in Mythologies, he stated he had no dominion in the Netherrealm which is why he sent Sub-Zero there. So he has a pointless fight with Scorpion. Then Quan Chi appears and Raiden.. despite knowing that Quan Chi was actually assisting Outworld tries to turn the Netherrealm to Earthrealm’s side by offering the souls of the fallen Earthrealm warriors.

....Raiden, those warriors died because YOU changed the timeline, they died following YOUR decisions and you... are OFFERING THEIR SOULS TO QUAN CHI?! ...FUCK YOU, RAIDEN!!!!

You know what, I’m not even gonna call him Raiden. Thunder Idiot’s offer is refused because... ...Quan Chi already owns their souls... ...you have to got to be EFFING kidding me. He shows them as zombies... ....YOU MUST BE KIDDING. You’re REALLY going to bring them all back in the next game as ZOMBIES? What the hell is this?! Who wrote this? Why was this not laughed off?! In fact, I’ll let Razor just how the hell this is not logical since I’m so tired from explaining all the other shit they got friend.

“You're right about the second thing, though. The whole "Kahn sold the souls of the dead to Quan Chi" thing doesn't make sense, because it's not something Raiden caused, but it's ALSO not something that happened in the original timeline, so how did it happen? And how is it even possible? Shao Kahn does not actually HAVE control over the souls of dead Earth heroes, so HOW could he sell them to Quan? This game doesn't even explain that.

The Soulnado is meant to steal every soul on Earth and empower Shao Kahn.

In the original MK3, it worked, but Raiden begged the Elder Gods to spare his fighters from having their souls stolen without a fight, which they did instead of being complete douchebags like they are in this game.

As a result, Kahn couldn't take any of the heroes' souls. And when Johnny died, his soul was supposed to go to Heaven, but the merger somehow blocked its path so it returned to his body and reanimated him until the merger was over, at which point, he died and went to Heaven like he was supposed to.

In this game, there's no Elder God help (why is this different? No explained reason!), so no chosen ones with protected souls...but they ALSO stop the Soulnado in this game, before everybody dies. So how the fuck does Kahn have a say over the souls of the heroes?

Now...you could argue that maybe Kahn has control over any soul that's in the realm he rules, and because he was merging Outworld with Earth, he technically ruled Earth and all the souls in it...but here's the thing: at the time everybody died, THE REALMS WEREN'T MERGING YET. The Elder Gods specificially tell Raiden that the whole reason they won't get involved is Kahn hasn't merged the realms yet, the only thing he's done is march a bunch of monsters into Earth to attack people at that point in time, which isn't against their rules.

It's just not fuckin' logical. THIS is why you can't say "time travel" and make references to the old canon AND say "reboot" so you can ignore the old canon AT THE SAME TIME. It's a fucking contradiction.

Quan Chi doesn't know how to steal souls (that's the entire reason he partnered up with Shang in MKDA, 'cause Shang can do it and he can't), he can only control ones who already went to Hell when they died, and the good guys wouldn't have gone to Hell on their own, they were the fucking good guys.

In the old canon, KAHN created the MK3 soulnado and I'm a little pissed at seeing Quan do it in this game because if nothing else, it's just another scene they shoehorned the character into that he didn't need to be in. And the one to the Heavens in Deadly Alliance was solely Quan using Shinnok's Amulet to open an Amulet-Portal, y'know, those big gates shaped like the amulet that were introduced in MKDA, like the one he escaped from Hell with and the one that sits in the Dragon King's Tomb stage? Yeah, it wasn't some spell he knew. He opened a fucking door with its key.

And in the OLD canon, Sindel's resurrection was possible because Kahn stole her soul when she committed suicide, so she couldn't leave him like she was trying to. In the new canon...y'know what, there's more than one plothole when it comes to the whole "Sindel an hero'd on Earth because the protection was her doing, not the Elder Gods'" thing, how Quan resurrected her is sort of the least egregious one because if nothing else, you could always say "You don't need the soul to cast a rez spell if you have the body."”

Thank you. Summed it up better than I could.

So anyway, Thunder Idiot fights the zombie heroes.. oh God, did I really just write that? Then Quan Chi actually indirectly tells Thunder Idiot that Shao Kahn must merge the realms for the Elder Gods to act. But he DID merge the realms in the old story, did you not see Shao Kahn’s palace in the old MK3 backgrounds?! So now Liu Kang is about to stop Shao Kahn from merging the realms when Thunder Idiot says they must let him win, but Liu Kang doesn’t care about him anymore and really who can blame him? But the two fight and Liu Kang charges up his fire punch... and Thunder Idiot and burns Liu Kang to death.. yeah, NRS, kill off another character while you’re it... that’s the problem with this story, it’s nothing but shock twists and shock deaths instead of actually y’know TELLING A STORY ABOUT CHARACTERS GROWING AND CHANGING.

So Sonya and Johnny Cage try to stop Shao Kahn but get swatted aside like flies. Yeah, remind me why these two survived again? So Shao Kahn is about to kill Thunder Idiot... please do, he deserves it. The Elder Gods finally intervene and... merge with Raiden...? Anyway, they unleash on Shao Kahn.. which doesn’t work. Don’t ask why, it just doesn’t and not to mention, it doesn’t even do anything in gameplay as Shao Kahn is still a cheap little bitch.

So anyway, Thunder Idiot blows Shao Kahn up and Sonya and Johnny Cage say it’s okay that Thunder Idiot screwed up when really they should’ve walked away from him in DISGUST at what he’s done. I certainly would’ve, Quan Chi then ends with Shinnok appearing and then they are both ready to begin their invasion of both Earthrealm and Outworld which are both devastated (Earthrealm) leaderless (Outworld) and in chaos (both) leaving them both ripe for the taking by the Netherrealm. Way to go, Thunder Idiot.

Finally done. Was it really that bad.. how can I sum up all my major problems... well.... WHY WOULD RAIDEN SEND A MESSAGE BACK TO MK1 WHEN IT HAD LITTLE TO DO WITH ARMAGEDDON? WHY WOULDN’T HE SEND IT BACK TO JUST BEFORE SHAO KAHN WAS ABOUT TO MERGE SO HE COULD LIMIT THE DAMAGE?! WHY MAKE IT SO VAGUE? HOW THE HELL DO THE TOURNAMENTS WORK AGAIN? WHY WAS SCORPION EVEN IN THE STORY AFTER MK1? WHY DID YOU TAKE AWAY A LOT OF THE COMPLEXITY THE ORIGINAL STORYLINE HAD? WHY DID YOU KILL OFF SO MANY IMPORTANT CHARACTERS AND LEAVE INCONSEQUENTIAL CHARACTERS LIKE BARAKA ALIVE? WHAT WAS THE POINT OF EVEN SWITCHING SUB-ZERO AND SMOKE’S ROLES IF YOU KILLED THEM BOTH OFF ANYWAY? WHY WOULD YOU KILL OFF SO MANY GOOD GUYS SO YOU COULD BRING THEM BACK AS ZOMBIES IN THE NEXT GAME?! WHY DIDN’T YOU GUYS JUST CHECK YOUR OLD BIOS AND INTROS IT WOULD’VE TAKEN YOU MAYBE 10 MINUTES! WHY WAS QUAN CHI SHOEHORNED INTO SCENES HE DIDN’T NEED TO BE IN? WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE JOHNNY CAGE AND SONYA ALIVE OF ALL PEOPLE?! HOW THE HELL CAN QUAN CHI OWN THE SOUL OF THE GOOD GUYS?! DEAR GOD, THIS STORY SUCKS!!!!

All in all, how can I sum it all up in a nutshell. The storyline to this game blows. It fails. It is a miserable pile of shit. It is a mean-spirited idiotic mess filled with lies and retcons. It is more concerned with killing off popular and well-liked characters and creating of shock twists instead of letting us watch them grow and change through their interactions with each other. Instead of a story that retold MK1-3, we got a fucking idiot plot about an idiot Thunder God trying to change things and fucking things. It is the prime example of how to NOT reboot a story. Oh, but we’re not done yet. Next is going to be how they could’ve improved and prevented this mess from happening.