Asmodeus: The One Lord - Prolouge
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05/03/2009 06:19 AM (UTC)by
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Oni Lord Asmodeus
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02/19/2003 09:41 PM (UTC)
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Oni Lord Asmodeus
05/02/2009 03:02 AM (UTC)
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Almost pushed off the page and still no feed back...what's the deal?
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Jerrod
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MKO Moderator, Story Writer, Actor
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05/02/2009 05:38 AM (UTC)
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Not everyone reads the fan fictions, since they tend to be really long and people are more for the instant gratification that pictures have to offer. This suffers from the fact that it's too short though.
I like what you have so far, as your style is pretty detailed, but it's hard for me to give it more feedback than that because there's very little for me to rate. It's a nice concept for a story, but for a prologue, there's really not enough for it to have stood alone and it may as well have been the introduction paragraphs to the first part of the series that will follow. You seem to be on the right track with it, just need more meat on the bones.
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ThePredator151
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05/03/2009 06:19 AM (UTC)
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I liked it alot because it was shorter. It looks like a pretty good start for more to come.

That reminds me...
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