Greetings, one and all. Tis time for a triumphant train of thought and talk as we dabble head-long into yet another glorious week of kombatant discussion.

We're now through with Sheeva, Nightwolf, Mileena, Smoke, Shang Tsung, Stryker, Reptile, Sonya's boobs, Sonya Blade, Sektor, and Johnny Cage.

This week? It's our beloved bladed buddy, Baraka!

WHO IS BARAKA?
Baraka is the only playable member of the Outworld race of mutants known as Tarkatans.

He's also an ugly sonuvabitch, so you knew he was evil before you even had a chance to play a match with him.

(I don't know... maybe he's just misunderstood...)

Baraka's got a mouth full of fangs, demonic features, and, most noteworthy, long hard blades fused with his body that he pops out whenever he gets excited.


Baraka was made a general of Kahn's forces for being the most deadly and savage of his race of deadly savages, so that's saying quite a bit.

(he is the Lord of Darkness of his race. They might all be evil and violent, but he's the MOST evil and violent.... and I bet he hates unicorns TOO)

Baraka has then led Kahn's forces dutifully, though his story always hints that he's not above killing his way to power, or beyond killing Kahn himself to gain it for himself.

Also of particularly note is Baraka has a relationship, at times more overt than others, with the only other woman in the game smacked with the ugly stick more times than hippies at a war protest.

(let's see... an improperly dressed, infantile, sex-obsessed abomination conceived through unnatural means that asks if you want to dance instead of fight before every match? Yep, Mileena's a hippie.)

In general, though, Baraka has been a constant and recurring villain in the MK series since his debut, always using his considerable clout amongst the Tarkatans to fight against someone, somewhere, for some reason.

(In Tarkatan society, this is the only story they are ever allowed to tell their kids growing up)

WHY IS BARAKA IN THE SERIES?
Baraka debuted in Mortal Kombat 2 and very quickly became a cult favorite. Out of all the playable characters seen thus, he was undeniably otherworldly and monstrous and served as a stark contrast to the otherwise human-looking and attractive other fights.

(Seriously, if that face came running at you from out the dark, you'd piss your pants and surrender Earthrealm to Kahn too...)

To show that MK2 was far different from MK1, the sequel taking place in an alien world full of inter-dimensional demons and monsters, they decided to throw in Baraka as a sign of those changing times.

Naturally, they had to rip off SOMETHING, and around the early-to-mid 90's, everyone and their dog was in love with heroes and villains that could just spring out blades out of their forearms because it was just the coolest thing ever.

(Just stab everything!)

Using a cheap Halloween mask and gluing novelty fingernails to the mouth for teeth, they took poor Rich Divizio and squeezed his bald head into that thick, tight rubber mask and beamed hot spotlights on him for several hours, all the while probably taking bets on how long it would be before he passed out from either suffocation, dehydration, or heat exposure.

(I hear Ed won $8 on his bet of "12 hours in")

Because MK2 was turning everything up to eleven, Baraka also became an attention-grabber with his many stab-happy attacks that spilled copious amounts of blood, drawing the attention of every kid and teenager within a mile radius and activating every overprotective mother's sense of danger on a national scale.

("I sense Timmy is enjoying himself some make-believe violence. I must stop his fun at all cost... for his own good!")

Well, it worked. Baraka was a hit in MK2, long before tier-lists came out and pegged him as "Kung Lao's bitch."

("Kung Lao's bitch" IS a legitimate tier-ranking, right?)

Still, his popularity ensured he'd be seen plenty in future games (well, except the NEXT one... and MK:DA... and originally MK4... but you get the idea).

BARAKA'S STORY-
Baraka hails from a savage, barbaric warrior race that makes the Shokans look like high-class society by comparison.

("I do say, old chap, those Tarkatan ruffians are quite a nuisance around the neighborhood...")

Bred for warfare and hardened in battle, Baraka rose through the ranks to become arguably the deadliest Tarkatan alive, and was picked by Kahn to lead his people into battle against Earthrealm.

One could argue that Tarkatans never really question their orders or seek alternative solutions other than "stab it until the problem is solved"...

(works for Dexter)
...But then one has to remember that his entire race is born with RAZOR SHARP SWORDS in their arms. In our society, that's like being born with a Gatling gun for a hand and then wondering what to do with your life.

(Barrett's attempts to run a petting zoo for kids went VERY badly and led to many lawsuits and psychologically scarred children)

So, some could argue Baraka does nothing but fight and fight and fight, and has no real motivation other than that, but I struggle to see Baraka having the courage to pursue his true ambition in life as a world-renown sou chef.

(he makes a KILLER shish kabob)

In this new game, Baraka represents his race in MK1's tournament, only to be eliminated by Johnny Cage in about five minutes after the tournament starts.


But that's okay. I'm sure Baraka was just having an off day. Maybe during the MK2 tournament, he'll last a bit longer.


Okay... so he was the first elimination this time. But he led his forces in MK3, so surely he'd have a big role in the invasion of Earthrealm during MK3, right? RIGHT?!


Yeah, he barely in the final act of the game. His last big moment in the game was taking Jade's boot to his face.

(An embarrassing defeat? Yeah, sure. But the view was TOTALLY worth it.)

In the original canon, Baraka didn't exactly do that much either. He showed up in MK4 in a very memorable appearance, having survived a hat-slice from Kung Lao and stapled his body back together like it was no big deal.

(He's just a trip to Ace Hardware away from a full recovery)

Strangely, it WASN'T a big deal, apparently, because when he showed up again in MK:Deception allied with Mileena, he didn't even have a scar to show for it. He apparently was serving the Dragon King this time around, and apparently was backstabbing Mileena as she backstabbed him. I was never quite sure why they were backstabbing one another in the first place. I guess that's just how Tarkatans keep the fires in their relationship burning.

(They have amazing make-up sex... and the blood even serves as lubricant!)

In a hilarious turn, MK's most notorious blood-spiller showed up in the MKvsDC crossover over more superhero-esque characters like Johnny Cage or Nightwolf, though the T-rating made him about as effective and ruthless as if he were a kid wielding a foam Nerf bat.


I really wish I could write more about Baraka's story in this game, but there just wasn't much there, which is a shame because the NRS team tweeted that they actually had a whole Mileena/Baraka storyline planned that got cut from the game, leaving Baraka as nothing more than an ugly punching bag whose only notable as being a smidgen more fleshed out than Reptile was in the game.

(Like Pokemon games, that's only a very small improvement between the two of them)

BARAKA'S FUTURE-
But Baraka did survive the end of the game. While absent through the final third of the game, Baraka was certainly around in the warzone killing his way through our forces, terrorizing our children, and making off with all our women.

(Seriously, here's Baraka, making off with Sonya. Yes, even Tarkatans want her, it seems...)

Mileena survived as well, perhaps allowing a future game to delve into their twisted relationship and the love they've shared a tad more than this game did.

(which is to say "not at all". They have no love in this game.)

Baraka remains popular, definitely a cult-favorite and a go-to-example of the type of fighters MK loves to produce; a freakish monster with a penchant for spilling blood like every day is a scene from Dead Alive/Braindead.

(There was so much blood in that movie, I started to think my TV itself was bleeding out)

I confess, as much as Iove Baraka's design, that's about all I genuinely do love of him. His gameplay has always been the most lacking, to me, given that he's got only one measly projectile, hardly any pop-ups, and no teleport to get him out of trouble. He may have those wickedly awesome blades, a great look, and a badass attitude, but if this was the NES Ninja Turtles game, he'd be Raphael.

(Your range sucks, Raphael! Give me Donatello!)

Still, he's got the visceral side down pat, and nobody can say that NRS "ruined" Baraka any.

(Baraka's not joining these guys anytime soon...)

I mean, sometimes less is more, and sometimes if you develop a character TOO much in the wrong direction, you just piss off the fans.

(Samus says "hi")

But in this case, Baraka's in desperate need of an overhaul, at least from a story perspective. I remember as a kid being freaked out and fascinated by this ghoulish demon-man with the bladed arms and oversized fangs. As a kid, he's scary and tough and compelling. As an adult, where the luster of his shocking debut has long-since faded, and he has nothing but his story and gameplay to fall back on to, I think Baraka needs some serious help.


He survived the events of this game where many other story-rich characters perished, so he'll probably be back, but if he does, he NEEDS a boost in relevance. He can't just be a generic grunt in the next game. He's NOT a generic grunt. He's BARAKA. Don't associate him with generic grunts.

(at least these two were funny)

But Baraka remains an important part of MK history and lore. He may never be the best fighter, but you can't deny that practically no other character makes you squirm in your chair like Baraka does. The way he stabs and maims and mauls and slices his opponents makes my skin shriek in protest, and so long as he continues to do what he does best, Baraka can at the very least endure through the thick and thin, highs and lows, of Mortal Kombat.

So what do you think, peeps? Is Baraka the bee's knees, or are you with me in thinking he needs a kick in the pants up the story department? Do you want him to get some goals of his own that are unique, or is "I like power" enough? How about that Mileena/Baraka relationship? Like it? Hate it? Confused by it? Let me know!

And let me know who should come next!

Alright folks. Been fun. Garlador out!