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If life was like a movie....
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posted05/31/2012 07:09 PM (UTC)by
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StormChaser
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Member Since
03/31/2011 02:00 AM (UTC)
If life was like a movie....

-Everyone would have perfect hair, all the time.

-You could jump out of a moving car and not be hurt at all, but if someone hit you on the back of the head, you'd lose consciousness right away.

-Your house would always been clean.

-The #1 cause of death to anyone under the age of 25 would be being murdered by a serial killer in a stupid costume.

-You'd always end up with the man/woman of your dreams.

-Everybody would be the same height

-It would be easy to fight and run in three-inch heels (with the perfect hair, of course!)

-Large cities like New York and Los Angeles would be destroyed on a regular basis by terrorists/viruses/UFOs/zombie infestations.

-If you had on a red shirt, you will probably die in the near future.

-If you were about to retire from the police force, you will probably die (one day before retirement= most dangerous day in the universe).

-Nice or funny criminals would always be forgiven for their crimes.








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Spaceman
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 •04/28/2012 02:28 AM (UTC) •
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-If you got shot in the shoulder you could easily bandage it and walk it off. You could even use the arm with little difficulty.

-Come to think of it you could be shot anywhere but the head or a million times in the chest and you'd still be able to move around and be healed later.
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J-spit
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Twilight Muthafuckin' Sparkle

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 •04/28/2012 03:02 PM (UTC) •
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- Bed sheets would magically cover my penis and my partner's tits no matter what.
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xB$INx
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 •04/28/2012 08:07 PM (UTC) •
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-Your 9mm handgun would have a 1000 bullets and would only need to be reloaded at your convenience.

-You would always meet that person you have been longing to see or your soulmate in the grocery store.
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Historical Favorite
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 •04/30/2012 09:34 AM (UTC) •
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You could defeat ninjas.
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McHotcakes
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"Never Stay Down"- Steve Rogers

•05/01/2012 12:50 AM (UTC) •
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"Movies are like life, but with all the boring parts taken out."
- Alfred Hitchcock
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KungLaodoesntsuck
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 •05/01/2012 12:55 AM (UTC) •
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- Cheesy One liners are considered witty banter.

- You never HAVE to use the bathroom or eat
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Zentile
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 •05/01/2012 01:16 AM (UTC) •
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Chloroform would be the best part.
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Unknown265
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 •05/01/2012 06:29 AM (UTC) •
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-You always look away from big explosions.

-Enemies who are firing at you will always have bad accuracy and rarely, if ever, make a successful shot.
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J-spit
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Twilight Muthafuckin' Sparkle

Sig by TheCypher
 •05/01/2012 11:39 AM (UTC) •
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- A week would feel like 30 minutes.
- Every high school is the same.
- Women would rarely have anything substantial to contribute.
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devilwithin
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The boy kicked out at the world. The world kicked back a lot fuckin' harder.

MK Online Featured User 31/3/2010 12/4/2011
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Shinnok-fan64 - s3Kt0r
 •05/01/2012 09:15 PM (UTC) •
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- Working out or studying needs a montage

- Learning kung fu takes only weeks to master

- Killing evil people can create supernatural killers

- Nothing bad happeneds outside of america apart from global disaster
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Icebaby
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 •05/01/2012 10:13 PM (UTC) •
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- Explosions near you causes your jumps to be slow motion.

- Blue and red pills will determine everything.

- You suddenly know how to climb things like an expert without gear.

- You know how to grab onto ledges perfectly after falling from a long distance.

- Your Token black friend, or the horny couple will be the first to die.

- If you're related to Harrison Ford in some way, or is his wife, expect to be kidnapped

- You're an expert on martial arts.
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baseball1
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I like big boobs and I cannot lie!!!!!!! Holla!

 •05/30/2012 12:10 AM (UTC) •
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- you could make out and have sex with your favorite celeb 24/7, 365 (or 366) days a year and not have childern.


Whoa. Megen Fox, hear I come!winksmilewinksmilewinksmile
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UNdiscovered
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 •05/30/2012 12:17 AM (UTC) •
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there better be a lot of boobie
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Icebaby
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 •05/30/2012 01:21 AM (UTC) •
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Thought up of some more:

Your killer that you thought you could outrun will always somehow beat you to a certain area you were running towards.

Closets are preferred choices to go towards when running away from a serial killer, rather than running out of the house.

Unless you are the Zodiac Killer, your genius evil tendencies will always get you killed or arrested.

Innocent bystanders will have the magic ability to jump out of the way of a car going 90 mph when being chased by another person.

Unless there is a huge, random truck backing up/driving forward, or some random obstacle that is placed magically at a specific spot where you need to drive, you will always successfully pass other cars in the road when being chased.

That couldn't have be more of a run-on sentence if I tried.
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Murcielago
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Get that ass BANNED

•05/30/2012 12:19 PM (UTC) •
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Mine would be like a Micheal Bay movie. EXPLOSIONS EVERYWHERE.

Take a piss? Que explosions

Taking a dump? Que explosions

Making a sandwich (...wait what?) Que explosions


Everything I do has explosions. The explosions have explosions.
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KungLaodoesntsuck
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 •05/30/2012 12:45 PM (UTC) •
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- All gun fights involve slow motion

- No one ever gets hurt from jumping off of a building or out of a window

- You can always barge into an office without ever having an appointment
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JUST_A_TARKATAN
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Text To Click Here

 •05/30/2012 01:05 PM (UTC) •
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-you can jump higher then 5 feet

-you will have a friend who thinks you killed his father

-there will always be a way out of every situation if your johny depp

-there will be a gun mounted on the wall when you need one

-your best friend will be your girl friend your girlfriend will be your enemy and your enemy will be your best friend

-your parent will die and you will set out for vengence
and you will probably make a deal with the devil
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baseball1
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I like big boobs and I cannot lie!!!!!!! Holla!

 •05/31/2012 06:59 PM (UTC) •
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UNdiscovered Wrote:
there better be a lot of boobie

Hell yea!gringringringringringringringringrin
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Zmoke
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 •05/31/2012 07:09 PM (UTC) •
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baseball1 Wrote:
UNdiscovered Wrote:
there better be a lot of boobie

Hell yea!gringringringringringringringringrin

Strike the faces or face the strikes.
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