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Life
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posted08/31/2004 03:59 AM (UTC)by
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Torchia
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07/06/2003 04:57 AM (UTC)
Okay, I really am fucking pissed.

School is starting soon, and I am so fucking stressed out...

I know once I start school, I am going to have piles of homework, and I'm not that bright, so I will have horrible grades, so I will probably fail this grade... And if not this grade, somewhere along the way, I will..

My girlfriend lives in North Carolina, and I never get to see her, so I have no clue whats going on in her life.. She always seems to be someone I can talk and listen to, but for all I know, shes cheating on me.. On top of that, I havn'r talked to her in a few weeks... Now please don't reply and say I should dump her.. I am in love with her, and I care so very deeply about her. I just really miss her.

At home, my parents have been devorced for a while, and I live with my mom most of the time, and only get to see my dad every second weeked, because hes always working. Sometimes it feels as if he never wants to see me. He is going out with another woman now, and she really doesn't like me. I've tried to get to know her, but I just can't seem to like her. Even the times I do get to go to my dads, I never get to do anything with him. He just sits upstairs, on his computer all day. The woman he is seeing, also has two kids, who make me sometimes feel my dad loves them more than he loves me. My mom has remarried, and I really don't like the man she loves. I can never really bring myself to tell my mom this, because she looks so happy with him. He hates me, out of his son, my brother, and I. You can tell this, the second he looks at me. He looks at them with gentel eyes, but when he looks at me, its as if they're telling me to go get him another beer. Thats another thing. Hes got a drinking problem, so I'm scared that one day he will hurt someone, including my mother.

My brother (blood) always beats on me. He gets pissed off and hits me, constantly. He never stops. Also, the insults are too much. I know this is basic brother behaviour, but its just another way I'm stressed. My other brother (the son of my moms husband)gets away with everything. There isn't a thing he doesn't get away with. It pisses me off, because my real brother is older than me, and he is younger, leaving me in the middle. I work so hard, I cook, I clean, I help whenever I can, and I still get walked all over. I get nothing. I always here "Jason gets this, because he is the oldest!" or "Jesse gets this, because he is youngest!".. Never have I once heard them say "Matt gets this, because hes in the middle!"

Basically, this is all my life is. I mean, sure there are good thing in it. I have a computer, I'm well fed, have my own TV, and tons of videogames, but right at this point in my life, it seems the bad stuff over powers the good.

I could really use some advice. If not advice, Just someone to help me try to feel better. I'm in tears right now, and I'm so stressed. Just finally telling someone all this has helped me out quite a bit. It feels so good for it to be said.

Anyway, like I said. If someone would like to help me out, please do.
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SanzoQuanChi
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I don't know how to put a picture here, so here's some words instead.

•08/30/2004 12:06 AM (UTC) •
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That sucks!sad My parents are divorced and I see my dad every other weekend and usually every Wednesday. My mom remarried twice since they've been divorced. (they divorced when i was like 6, 14 now) I haven't liked either guy really and the first one had a drinking problem, too. This one's okay, I don't like him too much though. My dad has gone out w/ a couple people and with one woman A LOT. But after an off and on relationship of 2-3 years they finally quit and I feel sorry for him. I'm about to hit high school and get tons more work then I'm used to and I will only have 3 friends that I know going to the same school. While I can't compare with you, I feel sorry for you and hope you feel better. Iv'e been depressed for a while sometimes(1 month or so every once in a while), but it always gets better, no matter what. You WILL feel better. Just know that!
I hope I helped!
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MKSECRETS
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 •08/30/2004 12:08 AM (UTC) •
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Wanna know something that'll make you feel better? There are people out there (MILLIONS of 'em) who have it much worse than you do.

I know that might seem a bit harsh, but it's true. I've sorta been where you are (emotionally) many times before. I was like that for far too many years. But there comes a time when you gotta wake up and realize that as much as life sucks, there's really nothing you can do to improve it where YOU want it to. This reminds me of an old saying that was featured in a song by a singer called Alex Ubago:

"Olvidamos las pequenas alegrias por lograr la gran felicidad"


For those who don't understand spanish, what it says is that we forget the small things that make us happy because all we want is that ONE BIG THING that'll make us happy. We convince ourselves that we aren't/can't be happy because we lack that one thing (or sometimes, a few things).

I'm only telling you this because people have told me the same thing many times, but I've been too stubborn to realize it's true: Stop focusing on the negatives and concentrate on the good things in the real world, because THOSE are the things that matter, no matter how small they are in size (so to speak) and/or quantity.

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Torchia
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 •08/30/2004 12:08 AM (UTC) •
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Thanks.. Sorry about your troubles aswell
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Kamionero
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 •08/30/2004 12:10 AM (UTC) •
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Don't be so stressed!!
Ur girlfriend "for all u kno" COULD Be cheating... and so could u... Do u have any evidence she is cheating? If not, don't worry about it!!!

Ur 14 (or so ur info says), u have ur whoooole live in front of u... just ENJOY ur age... I kno it can be hard... but if ur becoming a Highschool freshman do not be affraid... freshman year is the EASIEST!!! it sounds scary but it's not that hard..

Dad issues: A father is ALWAYS hapy to see u!!! Even though he may not be able to show it.. he is...

Hahahaa... ur having the same prob. my friend had with his dad's girlfriend.. He thought she didn't like him (we where 13 at this time, we'r 17 now) and now they get along REALLLLYYY well.. seriously, u just have to give it some time... lay back and relax.. don't try to push it.

Now.. brother prob. that's just not right... U just need to think of cool comebacks for what he says...
If u want to get back: Use really nasty insults, don't hold back no matter whart, call him a floppy cunt and stuff he DOESN't want to hear..

If u want to improve ur relationship: Make funny comebacks... Say funny stuf. thinks that appeal to HIS humor...


Now... I think ur havin middle brother problems.. happens to all middle brothers..
If they say They'r the oldest/youngest" Tell them they are not fucking maimed@!! They can do stuff on their own!!! and if they want things done they better do it themselves... BITCHES!!
Or Just bitch about it to ur parents, tell them it's not fair and if u do what they tell u, then they better give the favor back!!!



Want to feel better???? : Go out with ur friend a lot... make sure u hang out with the right, fun crowd.. ( meaning not the kid whose head is hunging from the desk cause he is high as Whitney Huston) make many different kinds of friends.. that is always good...
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Torchia
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 •08/30/2004 12:11 AM (UTC) •
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MKSECRETS Wrote:
Wanna know something that'll make you feel better? There are people out there (MILLIONS of 'em) who have it much worse than you do.

I know that might seem a bit harsh, but it's true. I've sorta been where you are (emotionally) many times before. I was like that for far too many years. But there comes a time when you gotta wake up and realize that as much as life sucks, there's really nothing you can do to improve it where YOU want it to. This reminds me of an old saying that was featured in a song by a singer called Alex Ubago:

"Olvidamos las pequenas alegrias por lograr la gran felicidad"

For those who don't understand spanish, what it says is that we forget the small things that make us happy because all we want is that ONE BIG THING that'll make us happy. We convince ourselves that we aren't/can't be happy because we lack that one thing (or sometimes, a few things).

I'm only telling you this because people have told me the same thing many times, but I've been too stubborn to realize it's true: Stop focusing on the negatives and concentrate on the good things in the real world, because THOSE are the things that matter, no matter how small they are in size (so to speak) and/or quantity.



Wow, thanks alot! That really helps!

Note: I am not being sarcastic.

Those are some great words there, and I know other people have it worse than me, and I would try to help those people, if I knew any..
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WikedKlown00
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 •08/30/2004 12:13 AM (UTC) •
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Yeah i know how you are feeling ive been in a deep depression for about 4 years now. i have to see a doctor ever other week because of my mental problemes. so your not the only one thats feeling like shit sad
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Torchia
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 •08/30/2004 12:15 AM (UTC) •
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kamionero Wrote:
Don't be so stressed!!
Ur girlfriend "for all u kno" COULD Be cheating... and so could u... Do u have any evidence she is cheating? If not, don't worry about it!!!

Ur 14 (or so ur info says), u have ur whoooole live in front of u... just ENJOY ur age... I kno it can be hard... but if ur becoming a Highschool freshman do not be affraid... freshman year is the EASIEST!!! it sounds scary but it's not that hard..

Dad issues: A father is ALWAYS hapy to see u!!! Even though he may not be able to show it.. he is...

Hahahaa... ur having the same prob. my friend had with his dad's girlfriend.. He thought she didn't like him (we where 13 at this time, we'r 17 now) and now they get along REALLLLYYY well.. seriously, u just have to give it some time... lay back and relax.. don't try to push it.

Now.. brother prob. that's just not right... U just need to think of cool comebacks for what he says...
If u want to get back: Use really nasty insults, don't hold back no matter whart, call him a floppy cunt and stuff he DOESN't want to hear..

If u want to improve ur relationship: Make funny comebacks... Say funny stuf. thinks that appeal to HIS humor...


Now... I think ur havin middle brother problems.. happens to all middle brothers..
If they say They'r the oldest/youngest" Tell them they are not fucking maimed@!! They can do stuff on their own!!! and if they want things done they better do it themselves... BITCHES!!
Or Just bitch about it to ur parents, tell them it's not fair and if u do what they tell u, then they better give the favor back!!!



Want to feel better???? : Go out with ur friend a lot... make sure u hang out with the right, fun crowd.. ( meaning not the kid whose head is hunging from the desk cause he is high as Whitney Huston) make many different kinds of friends.. that is always good...


Thanks alot, man, but about the brother thing.. If I insult him back, I will just get my ass kicked even harder...
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Kamionero
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 •08/30/2004 12:17 AM (UTC) •
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WEll saud!!!

My amigo alex salva el dia otra vez!!!
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DRFATALITY
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 •08/30/2004 12:20 AM (UTC) •
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I was in the same position you were in a few weeks ago with my father.I confronted him and told him how I REALLY FELT.Just tell him everything on your mind.And if he dosen't listen get your own life going.Don't worry about everyone else's life.You have to speak up and if you don't speak people will use you as a rug.Don't blame the woman blame your dad.The Man is supposed to be the LEADER of a relationship.

And if you do talk to him talk to him in a easy going way.He won't listen if you talk to him all angry.
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DRFATALITY
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 •08/30/2004 12:21 AM (UTC) •
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I was in the same position you were in a few weeks ago with my father.I confronted him and told him how I REALLY FELT.Just tell him everything on your mind.And if he dosen't listen get your own life going.Don't worry about everyone else's life.You have to speak up and if you don't speak people will use you as a rug.Don't blame the woman blame your dad.The Man is supposed to be the LEADER of a relationship.

And if you do talk to him talk to him in a easy going way.He won't listen if you talk to him all angry.
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Kintaro6980
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 •08/30/2004 12:28 AM (UTC) •
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i wouldnt worry too much about failing, i failed my sophmore year of high school and still graduated on time. I took my junior and senior year together. If i could do that anyone could. Stand up to your brother and dont let him get the best of you. My dad used to constantly be horrible and put himself above me until i stood up to him. Tell your mom how you feel about the guy shes with. Hopefully she will understand.
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Torchia
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 •08/30/2004 01:45 AM (UTC) •
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Thanks for the comments
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LoganMK
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 •08/30/2004 05:05 AM (UTC) •
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heh dang dude, major stressing.

I'm going to take a stab and assume you're in highschool and to that I say, don't sweat....high school is not where life ends its ok lol.

You're girlfriend.....I'm not going there. I do not approve of long distance relationships.

Don't spin so many plates and you'll be alright. If you choose to not agree there's always suicide wink
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TrainOPain
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Kill You-Fuck you-I will never be you

•08/30/2004 06:19 AM (UTC) •
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sucks man...im in the same situation on a couple of things...my brother who is older beats the crap out of me a lot and says harsh things a lot that makes me feel like shit all the time and we always get into fights but hes gone to college now for a year so im happy lol and with school im not too bright either...i have to take 2 maths this year and i donno if i can get through it...i cant take it math is the worst...but ah well i guess im gonna try to get it together this year and try my best...you should do the same.
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Kamionero
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 •08/30/2004 06:26 AM (UTC) •
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TrainOPain Wrote:
sucks man...im in the same situation on a couple of things...my brother who is older beats the crap out of me a lot and says harsh things a lot that makes me feel like shit all the time and we always get into fights but hes gone to college now for a year so im happy lol and with school im not too bright either...i have to take 2 maths this year and i donno if i can get through it...i cant take it math is the worst...but ah well i guess im gonna try to get it together this year and try my best...you should do the same.

Don't worry too much about highschool... if u just REALLY do ur homework at home, u'll be fine... I made Honor roll through all hischool sleeping in class, failing quizzes (especiallyin math.. wow.. that was horrible...), but I just kept dong my homework and teachers like that.. they will round ur grade upwards.. ;)

Hehehe.. don't complain about an older brother.. he may physically and verbally abuse u... but it's not like an older sister... WOW.. they are EEEvvviiiilll, manipulative, controlling, tricky and just WRONG!!! it's like a whole SS in 1 person!! U just can't defend because if u do they make u feel guilty and an asswhole.. don't ask me HOW... they just do... it's scarry really...
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Torchia
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 •08/30/2004 09:51 PM (UTC) •
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Okay.. Thats it.. I need to get away.. I have to leave this fucking house.. I'm just not going to come back.. I'll leave and not come back. Well.. Should I run away? Yes? No? Comments? I swear to god, I spend one more moment in this house, I will fucking kill myself...
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psyclobex
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 •08/30/2004 09:57 PM (UTC) •
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Life sucks get use to it.Do whatever you have to do to fill your soul up drugs,woman,music, repent.
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NeedlesKane
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 •08/30/2004 10:01 PM (UTC) •
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Life....is good, suck it in, it's fresh and full smile
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NeedlesKane
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 •08/30/2004 10:04 PM (UTC) •
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Life doesn't suck first of all. Second, take out the drugs, and you'll have more room for the rest.
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Afghanblade
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 •08/30/2004 10:30 PM (UTC) •
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Man i know what ur going threw. One of my friends is in a similar situation. Well lets see how i can help.

At times when iam stressed out i think of something totally different....u can call it a happy thoughtsmile Just try to relax and forget about it.

When i was in high school my grades werent so good either. But if u keep up with the homework(i know u siad u arent good at it but just keep trying) iam sure u will do well. Back in gr.9 i remember i failed math lol..and my dad got really mad at me cause all my sisters were smarter and had higher grades. So when it came to studying from then on ....i really started to concentrate and tried to ask for extra help. Look at me now...iam in 2nd year of University.

As for the family issues...well like someone else said before ur dad migth not show that he loves you but inside iam sure he fells it. Afterall u are his son....his flesh and blood. And what ur brother is doing isnt right. You should talk to him and tell him what u told us. Iam sure he will understand and if he doesnt it will take him some time to realize that what hes doing isnt right at all. Tell him that he should put himself in ur shoes for a change. About ur other brother getting away with everything...lol...been there myself. My younger brother was like that too.......but as time goes on it wont last and sooner or later ur parents will realize it too.

As for your girlfriend. If u think shes cheating on you u should move on and start seeing other ppl. But if u really love her and u know that she feels the same about u....then u should stay with her. But i mean ur 14 and u have alot of things u still need to face......love isnt one of them at this stage. But, then again, if u have strong feelings for her then do whats right. I started dating when i was in gr.11. I took me about 3-4 girls to finally find the right one. And ive been with her ever since....shes my fiance now. So if ur meant to be with someone it will happen...u dont need to stress about it at this age.

So i hope my advice helped......just to let u know. One of my uncles use to stress about life too...within two months he had a serious heart attack. His health was perfectly fine...but the doctors told him that he shouldnt be stressing alot.....it can cause serious heart problems. Iam not saying this to scare u...but i think its important that u should be aware of it.

Other than that.....good luck with ur life.....take it EZsmile
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Torchia
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 •08/31/2004 03:26 AM (UTC) •
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About my girlfriend... I knew someone would bring up something like "Your too young to be in love" or something. Thats not true... Love is something felt, not developed by age.
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LoganMK
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 •08/31/2004 03:59 AM (UTC) •
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Dude, I'll just tell you flat out. I don't have anything against you, but I think you're crying way to much. I mean...run away?! Thats stupid. Let your family help you through your school years highschool or/and college because it isn't any better out there.

Something you just have to accept is life comes with disappointments and dispite what you may have been led to believe you are not entitled to everything you want or think you want. Start focusing on what you do have.
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