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The things kids say....
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posted07/22/2011 07:26 AM (UTC)by
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StormChaser
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Member Since
03/31/2011 02:00 AM (UTC)

Kids have always been known for their brutal honesty and lack of social grace... these are just some of the experiences I've had with children. What are yours?

Five-year old girl: There's no grown-ups here. Only teachers.

The first sentence my friend's six-year-old brother, Noah, ever says to me: I have a big wiener.
His brother: *shouting* No, you don't!
My friend: He's just jealous because Noah's penis is bigger than his.

I was having a "tea party" with a two-year-old girl.
Me: What kind of tea are we drinking?
Child: It's not tea. It's mocha.

I was changing the diaper of a three-year-old boy.
Child: I have a penis. Do you have a penis?
Me: No, I don't.
Child: Why not?
Me: Girls don't have penises.
Child: Why not?
Me: Um... ask your mother.

During another "tea party":
Me: What kind of tea do you want?
Child: Sausage.
Me: You want sausage tea?
Child: Yes.


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Rockchalk5477
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 •07/15/2011 02:31 AM (UTC) •
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StormChaser Wrote:
I was changing the diaper of a three-year-old boy.
Child: I have a penis. Do you have a penis?
Me: No, I don't.
Child: Why not?
Me: Girls don't have penises.
Child: Why not?
Me: Um... ask your mother.

Hahaha.

Once, when I was watching my sweet little cousin (who couldn't have been more than 5), she said how she had "Hurt her vagina."
I was flabbergasted.
I don't even think I knew that word when I was her age... :-o
During a long, horrible drive through town, my brothers pissed me off enough to yell, "Shut up, you bastards!"
Unfortunately, I was only 5 or 6 years old, but I heard my parents use it so many times (to refer to my brothers) that I thought it was fine.
My parents freaked out a bit, and my brothers thought it was hilarious. I didn't get spanked or yelled at for it, though. smile
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totheark
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 •07/15/2011 02:36 AM (UTC) •
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Interesting thing happened the other day.

My four year old sister came up to my dad's room, and while my dad was getting dressed, she said, "Daddy your stupid"; and ran off.

Boy did she regret that.
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Icebaby
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 •07/15/2011 02:43 AM (UTC) •
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My cousin was on the phone, her two-year old was playing with Legos at the time.

Suddenly his Lego tower got knocked over, he goes, "DAMNIT!"

Hee hee!!!
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maximus12
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 •07/15/2011 03:07 AM (UTC) •
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My 3 little cousins ages 3,5, and 7.

Andrew the (5 year old) mommy Isiah the (7 year old) called me a motherfucker.

Isiah quickly runs in after Andrew runs back. He says "Mom I didn't say motherfucker!!"

Isiah "Mommy am I getting bigger? Cause my pee pee is."

Children these days.
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NS922
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 •07/15/2011 03:19 AM (UTC) •
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Children around the ages of 12-21 say lots of silly things, like:

"Swagg"

"Gangsta"

"Bro"

"Wubwub"

"U Jelly"

"Lol/Lmao/Roflcopter"

"O RLY"


and a lot more.
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Spider804
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 •07/15/2011 03:30 AM (UTC) •
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^^Well, guess that means I have to stop saying words like those in 3 weeks.
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UNdiscovered
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 •07/15/2011 03:36 AM (UTC) •
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I fucked your mom IN THE ASSHOLE last night

OH SHIT I forgot to use a CONDOM!!!

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PsycloneM
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 •07/15/2011 03:56 AM (UTC) •
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When I moved to Texas from New York in 1990, my family would visit one of my aunts in Fort Worth.

One of those days, I was overhearing a conversation between my older cousins, and I caught on to one constantly repeated phrase.

After playing in the backyard, I still remembered that phrase. I opened the door to the house to see my other aunt. I wanted to tell her what I'd learned.

In a calm, innocent voice I said, "fucking shit" to her face. I was disciplined right there at the door.

I always laugh thinking about that moment because it all happened so fast:

*opens door*
"Fucking shit."
*slap*

Good times.
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Dibula
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About Me

 •07/15/2011 05:40 AM (UTC) •
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When I was three years old, I received a ride around jeep for Christmas. Immediately after opening said jeep, I smashed it into the Christmas Tree. After the poor tree toppled and the jeep stopped moving, the three year old ragemonster in me called the tree a cocksucker.


My Grandmother had a stroke.

My dad lawled his balls off.
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jack4813
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 •07/15/2011 05:48 AM (UTC) •
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This one is not as funny, or bad but...

When my dad was with my mom in her house, (they weren't married yet) my half brother (moms ex-husbands kid) who was like 7 at the time, didn't understand the situation fully.

After my dad got something out of the pantry, he turned and my brother looked him straight in the eyes and said

"This is not your house." and walked off.
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totheark
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 •07/15/2011 03:19 PM (UTC) •
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jack4813 Wrote:
This one is not as funny, or bad but...

When my dad was with my mom in her house, (they weren't married yet) my half brother (moms ex-husbands kid) who was like 7 at the time, didn't understand the situation fully.

After my dad got something out of the pantry, he turned and my brother looked him straight in the eyes and said

"This is not your house." and walked off.

If only I had the balls to say that to my soon-to-be ex-stepmother.

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MRXDX2
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About Me

 •07/15/2011 10:37 PM (UTC) •
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Funny because just today I was playing Mortal kombat 9 and I was playing as Sonya and she had some battle damage so my 7 year old niece comes in my room just as soon as I was done with the match and says EW YOU CAN SEE HER SOME OF HER TITTIE! I told her don't say that please but I was laughing so hard on the inside.
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SubMan799
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 •07/15/2011 10:51 PM (UTC) •
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So I'm taking care of my friend's baby cousin. He's in my room and decides to sleep on the dog's bed. It was so funny seeing this two year old crawl up into the dog's bed and fit so cozily and comfortably. He points up at the light switch and tells me "Off lights!" He wanted me to turn off the lights so he could sleep. I cracked up
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StormChaser
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 •07/16/2011 03:49 AM (UTC) •
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My cousin's three-year-old son had a toy bus. I asked him, "Oh, is that a bus?" He looks and me, rolls his eyes, and says, "It's a VW bus!"

Mighty haughty for someone who can't even use the toilet.

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Clonehunter
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 •07/16/2011 03:51 AM (UTC) •
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7 yr old cousin: My peenus is biggur then yourrrsss

Kids say the most gosh darn things.
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owen_pwned
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About Me

 •07/21/2011 02:38 PM (UTC) •
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It was my brothers 5th Birthday a few weeks ago. So I say to him "So you're five today!" and he says "Yeah it's about the age I should be really".
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StormChaser
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 •07/22/2011 12:43 AM (UTC) •
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owen_pwned Wrote:
It was my brothers 5th Birthday a few weeks ago. So I say to him "So you're five today!" and he says "Yeah it's about the age I should be really".


Ha ha! grin
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FlamingTP
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 •07/22/2011 07:26 AM (UTC) •
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It will be interesting when I have children since I dont believe in censorship.
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