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Unlikely New Products
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posted08/07/2012 01:50 PM (UTC)by
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StormChaser
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Member Since
03/31/2011 02:00 AM (UTC)
From the creators of "Your Baby can Read!" comes "Your Fetus can Read!" Why wait until AFTER birth to teach your baby to read? After all, it's not like he or she is really doing anything in there anyway- why not download the entire alphabet into your body's most intimate parts for your baby's own infotainment?

Don't take our word for it. Take the word of Cynthia Housewife, of Anytown, USA. "My son Frankie can read better than any other baby in the nursery! Before he was born, I desperately wanted to live vicariously through my child and show up all my girlfriends, and now I can. Yesterday Frankie read a passage from War and Peace flawlessly. My best friend's daughter is twice Frankie's age and all she can do is put her own toes in her mouth. She can't read anything at all!"

Order now and receive the whole "Your Fetus can Read!" program for only $19.99. Satisfaction guaranteed!*




*Void in all 50 states and most of Europe.

What other products are unlikely (hopefully) to hit our markets?

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 •07/31/2012 05:41 AM (UTC) •
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From the co-creator of Mortal Kombat...

Tao Feng!




Wait... What? They did? Really!? GODDAMNIT!
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UNdiscovered
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 •07/31/2012 05:57 AM (UTC) •
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from the creators of stick

heres come STICK AND A CIRCLE

no more depressed stick

because now you can have a circle to put it in

Enjoy perfect harmony with stick and a circle
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raidenthefridge
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About Me

Thanks to MINION for taking my Siginity!

•07/31/2012 12:08 PM (UTC) •
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Biodegradable Houses/Cars.
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devilwithin
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About Me
The boy kicked out at the world. The world kicked back a lot fuckin' harder.

MK Online Featured User 31/3/2010 12/4/2011
-----------------------Gifts-----------------------
Shinnok-fan64 - s3Kt0r
 •07/31/2012 12:37 PM (UTC) •
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Spank the monkey the board game. Fun for all kids and grown ups.

So you get this box full of monkeys and you let them loose in house. The objective is to catch the moneys and you give them a spank or let one of your friends spank your monkey (you can do this as long as you want). Get double points for spanking 2 monkeys at same time

Players: 1 or above

Disclaimer: May cause lost of social life, blindness and hairy palms
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KungLaodoesntsuck
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About Me

 •07/31/2012 01:09 PM (UTC) •
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Condoms that ACTUALLY work.
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Unknown265
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 •08/07/2012 10:38 AM (UTC) •
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Tired of vomiting, having to store it in a paper or plastic bag, and throwing it away? Agitated about all that food going to waste? Well that's not a problem with the new Puke-n-Bake! This revolutionary metallic container allows you to store the expelled contents of your stomach, and this electric-powered container will shake, mix, and cook the vomit into a whole new mush-food! Safe and completely sanitary for reconsumption! No more throwing out your friend's cake, or that manly-man's beef jerky.

Buy the Puke-n-Bake for just 4 payments of $14.99!

But wait, there's more; order the Puke-n-Bake now, and we'll pack in the Regurgitation Activation Stick, for free! (Just pay separate processing and handling, $9.99) This tool will allow you to activate the regurgitation process. So you won't have to find a way to get yourself to vomit to use the Puke-n-Bake!

Repeated usage of the Puke-n-Bake is highly discouraged if you have any medical conditions for your stomach, liver, or kidneys. The same rules apply to the Regurgitation Activation Stick. Our company is not responsible for any damages caused to your person or property.

Do not sue us either, or our lawyers will kick your asses in court.
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 •08/07/2012 01:50 PM (UTC) •
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Unknown265 Wrote:
Tired of vomiting, having to store it in a paper or plastic bag, and throwing it away? Agitated about all that food going to waste? Well that's not a problem with the new Puke-n-Bake! This revolutionary metallic container allows you to store the expelled contents of your stomach, and this electric-powered container will shake, mix, and cook the vomit into a whole new mush-food! Safe and completely sanitary for reconsumption! No more throwing out your friend's cake, or that manly-man's beef jerky.

Buy the Puke-n-Bake for just 4 payments of $14.99!

But wait, there's more; order the Puke-n-Bake now, and we'll pack in the Regurgitation Activation Stick, for free! (Just pay separate processing and handling, $9.99) This tool will allow you to activate the regurgitation process. So you won't have to find a way to get yourself to vomit to use the Puke-n-Bake!

Repeated usage of the Puke-n-Bake is highly discouraged if you have any medical conditions for your stomach, liver, or kidneys. The same rules apply to the Regurgitation Activation Stick. Our company is not responsible for any damages caused to your person or property.

Do not sue us either, or our lawyers will kick your asses in court.


Fucking gross, but freakin' awesome!
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