Women who still live with their parents
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Women who still live with their parents
There are a lot of these sad stories about guys in their late twenties or older who still live with their parents. But I rarely find stories of women those ages who are still living with their parents, and who are viewed as pathetic because of it. Not much of a surprise, given that we still live in a macho society that encourages women to be weak, for the most part.
So, what do you people think of adults who still live with their parents? And do you think it's more acceptable for adults of one gender to be in that situation, or is it the same thing?
In my case, it's not better nor worse for either gender. But as far as relationships go, I think it's preferable if at least one of the parties involved has a place of their own.
I don't see why it's worse for the guy to still be living with his parents, if the gal already has her own place. I realize the fear that a guy in such a situation is some helpless man-child, but that's a stereotype, and it is is a little suspicious that no one seems to be scared of the gal being an helpless "woman-child", hell the term "woman-child" is barely ever used. Probably a macho thing, women being expected to be helpless and all, and thus not needing a term like "woman-child" since "woman" is enough, in a macho man's mind.
So, what do you people think of adults who still live with their parents? And do you think it's more acceptable for adults of one gender to be in that situation, or is it the same thing?
In my case, it's not better nor worse for either gender. But as far as relationships go, I think it's preferable if at least one of the parties involved has a place of their own.
I don't see why it's worse for the guy to still be living with his parents, if the gal already has her own place. I realize the fear that a guy in such a situation is some helpless man-child, but that's a stereotype, and it is is a little suspicious that no one seems to be scared of the gal being an helpless "woman-child", hell the term "woman-child" is barely ever used. Probably a macho thing, women being expected to be helpless and all, and thus not needing a term like "woman-child" since "woman" is enough, in a macho man's mind.
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Get that ass BANNED
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I don't care honestly. It's their decision, not mine. Doesn't effect me in any way, shape or form.
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It really depends on the person and his/her situation. I'm in my mid-late 20s, but I'm still living with my mom to help support her. Aside from a few rare instances from years ago, we don't really get support from either side of our family. So financial reasons and even health reasons could play a part in young adults staying at home with their parents.
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My guess would be that unemployed women don't live with their parents as often because they can meet a romantic partner to move in with a lot more easily. You mentioned a little something about harmful stereotypes that still exist in our society, and one of them is that women are desired most for their looks, men are desired most for their ability to provide. So having no job or a job that doesn't pay enough to support herself will not impede a girl from getting dates, but a man having no job or a job that doesn't pay enough to support himself so he still lives with his parents is usually a sign that he's unmotivated, or that he doesn't have the social skills necessary to meet people and share an apartment with someone.
Also of note, "housewife" and "stay-at-home-mom" are considered perfectly valid "career" options for females but rarely do you see males in the same position who aren't treated as though it's something to be embarrassed about.
Also of note, "housewife" and "stay-at-home-mom" are considered perfectly valid "career" options for females but rarely do you see males in the same position who aren't treated as though it's something to be embarrassed about.
RazorsEdge701 Wrote:
My guess would be that unemployed women don't live with their parents as often because they can meet a romantic partner to move in with a lot more easily. You mentioned a little something about harmful stereotypes that still exist in our society, and one of them is that women are desired most for their looks, men are desired most for their ability to provide. So having no job or a job that doesn't pay enough to support herself will not impede a girl from getting dates, but a man having no job or a job that doesn't pay enough to support himself so he still lives with his parents is usually a sign that he's unmotivated, or that he doesn't have the social skills necessary to meet people and share an apartment with someone.
Also of note, "housewife" and "stay-at-home-mom" are considered perfectly valid "career" options for females but rarely do you see males in the same position who aren't treated as though it's something to be embarrassed about.
My guess would be that unemployed women don't live with their parents as often because they can meet a romantic partner to move in with a lot more easily. You mentioned a little something about harmful stereotypes that still exist in our society, and one of them is that women are desired most for their looks, men are desired most for their ability to provide. So having no job or a job that doesn't pay enough to support herself will not impede a girl from getting dates, but a man having no job or a job that doesn't pay enough to support himself so he still lives with his parents is usually a sign that he's unmotivated, or that he doesn't have the social skills necessary to meet people and share an apartment with someone.
Also of note, "housewife" and "stay-at-home-mom" are considered perfectly valid "career" options for females but rarely do you see males in the same position who aren't treated as though it's something to be embarrassed about.
First, I'll admit to being a guy in his late twenties who still live with his parents. As for the reasons why, It's mostly because I used not to accept working for minimum wage, instead focusing on my studies so I could eventually get a degree and get myself a job that pays at least decently. Sadly, said studies bored me to death and I didn't progress quickly enough. I realize now that I shouldn't have let my pride cloud my judgment like that. I'm planning on changing this, and to get myself a job soon.
With that said, and in response to those stereotypes you brought up, I refuse to hook up with any girls who either have a place of their own, or who themselves still live with their parents, who look down on me for my situation, especially the former. I don't believe in double standards. Not to mention, and while this might be a little off-topic, I don't think couples absolutely have to live with one another 24/7, or to even marry, so basically, we remain financially independent from one another. That's one thing I've got planned for future relationships, so I will not prove a financial burden for a future girlfriend of mine. Besides, I think it's healthier for couples to allow themselves some time apart, sometimes.
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Well there's nothing saying two people HAVE to move in together or get married...but the longer a relationship goes on, the more a person eventually expects to see some kind of increased commitment from their partner.
And personally, I think if you ARE going to marry someone, you absolutely should live with them for a while FIRST to get to know what it's like being around them 24/7 and see whether or not it's something you might eventually get sick of and regret BEFORE you spend all that money and then have to get a divorce if it turns out it doesn't work.
And personally, I think if you ARE going to marry someone, you absolutely should live with them for a while FIRST to get to know what it's like being around them 24/7 and see whether or not it's something you might eventually get sick of and regret BEFORE you spend all that money and then have to get a divorce if it turns out it doesn't work.
Supporting yourself off of minimum wage is pretty much impossible unless you're living in poverty and in impoverished regions. Use the time you have where basic amenities / expenses are being paid for by your parents to finish your degree while you perhaps work along with your education. It's either that or move into a living situation with multiple roommates with a minimum wage job.
A woman just wants to know that you have a plan, some self-motivation, and a desire to change your situation. So, if you're meeting women and you mention that you're still living with your parents but you're finishing up a degree or working towards another professional goal, that'll speak louder than the fact that you're still with your folks.
Also don't be bitter and angry at the stereotype, that'll show through when you meant new people and that resentment will trump the actual situation itself. If someone gives you excessive shit for being at home don't get defensive, just keep doing you. People will notice and be drawn to that.
A woman just wants to know that you have a plan, some self-motivation, and a desire to change your situation. So, if you're meeting women and you mention that you're still living with your parents but you're finishing up a degree or working towards another professional goal, that'll speak louder than the fact that you're still with your folks.
Also don't be bitter and angry at the stereotype, that'll show through when you meant new people and that resentment will trump the actual situation itself. If someone gives you excessive shit for being at home don't get defensive, just keep doing you. People will notice and be drawn to that.
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Being a guy in this situation myself and I don't think it's as back and white as media stereotypes make it out to be. Given I'm not faultless of my own right, but there is definitely a huge grey area.
I'm in my early 30's, and have been living at home to help (more of less got dragged into) my parents' financial situation. Can't say that"m happy about it, especially with their declining health the past few years. I also have never been comfortable with driving (despite having my license). I do work and make a modest living. I'd probably be living with roommates if i was move out on my own.
I know a few other guy friends who are living at home. All of them financially stable to move out on their own, but choose not to.
I do know a girl, close to my age who is also living at home. Her situation is that she was living on her own and things didn't work out with her roommate. She also decided to go back to school as well and has moved back in with her parents to save money.
Like i said, I don't think this kind of situation is as black and white as the media stereotypes make it out to be. I don't think the majority of people in this situation are deadbeats who don't have a job, or don't want to work.
I'm in my early 30's, and have been living at home to help (more of less got dragged into) my parents' financial situation. Can't say that"m happy about it, especially with their declining health the past few years. I also have never been comfortable with driving (despite having my license). I do work and make a modest living. I'd probably be living with roommates if i was move out on my own.
I know a few other guy friends who are living at home. All of them financially stable to move out on their own, but choose not to.
I do know a girl, close to my age who is also living at home. Her situation is that she was living on her own and things didn't work out with her roommate. She also decided to go back to school as well and has moved back in with her parents to save money.
Like i said, I don't think this kind of situation is as black and white as the media stereotypes make it out to be. I don't think the majority of people in this situation are deadbeats who don't have a job, or don't want to work.
RazorsEdge701 Wrote:
Well there's nothing saying two people HAVE to move in together or get married...but the longer a relationship goes on, the more a person eventually expects to see some kind of increased commitment from their partner.
And personally, I think if you ARE going to marry someone, you absolutely should live with them for a while FIRST to get to know what it's like being around them 24/7 and see whether or not it's something you might eventually get sick of and regret BEFORE you spend all that money and then have to get a divorce if it turns out it doesn't work.
Well there's nothing saying two people HAVE to move in together or get married...but the longer a relationship goes on, the more a person eventually expects to see some kind of increased commitment from their partner.
And personally, I think if you ARE going to marry someone, you absolutely should live with them for a while FIRST to get to know what it's like being around them 24/7 and see whether or not it's something you might eventually get sick of and regret BEFORE you spend all that money and then have to get a divorce if it turns out it doesn't work.
Well, just because we wouldn't permanently move in together, doesn't mean I couldn't spend say, many weeks, at her place. The kind of commitment you're talking about would require both of us to make enough money individually. Right now, it's not the case for me, so I think my solution would be viable, if I got into a relationship at this point.
I mean, given my current situation, can you imagine just how bad it might be if my partner was the one making most of the money, and had to spend it to satisfy both her needs, and mine (It could be even worse if we had children, though fortunately I'm not planning on having any)? She could start resenting that. I want to spare her that, and I'd want her to spare me that, if I was the one with a good/great job. It could also come in handy, if the relationship went sour. The whole point of me moving out is to be financially independent. What's the point if I merely become dependent on someone else?
I know how cynical it sounds, that before I've even entered a relationship, to already have a few things planned out, like what to do if it goes to hell, but I'm not one to believe that I must gamble everything when it comes to romantic matters.
DG1OA Wrote:
Well, just because we wouldn't permanently move in together, doesn't mean I couldn't spend say, many weeks, at her place. The kind of commitment you're talking about would require both of us to make enough money individually. Right now, it's not the case for me, so I think my solution would be viable, if I got into a relationship at this point.
I mean, given my current situation, can you imagine just how bad it might be if my partner was the one making most of the money, and had to spend it to satisfy both her needs, and mine (It could be even worse if we had children, though fortunately I'm not planning on having any)? She could start resenting that. I want to spare her that, and I'd want her to spare me that, if I was the one with a good/great job. It could also come in handy, if the relationship went sour. The whole point of me moving out is to be financially independent. What's the point if I merely become dependent on someone else?
I know how cynical it sounds, that before I've even entered a relationship, to already have a few things planned out, like what to do if it goes to hell, but I'm not one to believe that I must gamble everything when it comes to romantic matters.
RazorsEdge701 Wrote:
Well there's nothing saying two people HAVE to move in together or get married...but the longer a relationship goes on, the more a person eventually expects to see some kind of increased commitment from their partner.
And personally, I think if you ARE going to marry someone, you absolutely should live with them for a while FIRST to get to know what it's like being around them 24/7 and see whether or not it's something you might eventually get sick of and regret BEFORE you spend all that money and then have to get a divorce if it turns out it doesn't work.
Well there's nothing saying two people HAVE to move in together or get married...but the longer a relationship goes on, the more a person eventually expects to see some kind of increased commitment from their partner.
And personally, I think if you ARE going to marry someone, you absolutely should live with them for a while FIRST to get to know what it's like being around them 24/7 and see whether or not it's something you might eventually get sick of and regret BEFORE you spend all that money and then have to get a divorce if it turns out it doesn't work.
Well, just because we wouldn't permanently move in together, doesn't mean I couldn't spend say, many weeks, at her place. The kind of commitment you're talking about would require both of us to make enough money individually. Right now, it's not the case for me, so I think my solution would be viable, if I got into a relationship at this point.
I mean, given my current situation, can you imagine just how bad it might be if my partner was the one making most of the money, and had to spend it to satisfy both her needs, and mine (It could be even worse if we had children, though fortunately I'm not planning on having any)? She could start resenting that. I want to spare her that, and I'd want her to spare me that, if I was the one with a good/great job. It could also come in handy, if the relationship went sour. The whole point of me moving out is to be financially independent. What's the point if I merely become dependent on someone else?
I know how cynical it sounds, that before I've even entered a relationship, to already have a few things planned out, like what to do if it goes to hell, but I'm not one to believe that I must gamble everything when it comes to romantic matters.
You can't "theorycraft" relationships and your in your head about it at a level that isn't healthy. You have relationships with people, honest to god living breathing humans, not ideas and expectations.
There is pretty much nothing wrong with living with your parents, male or female. They are your family. That does not preclude you from starting living your own life.
Besides, in most parts of the world, it's not economically viable to just go out and buy a house or apartment for yourself.
Besides, in most parts of the world, it's not economically viable to just go out and buy a house or apartment for yourself.
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I think many people try to judge the current generation of young adults by the standards of the baby-boomers, but that's insane. It's a different world, and there simply isn't a desk job waiting for everyone with a degree anymore.
I don't live with my parents, but I'm one of the lucky ones. I'd say if you have a full-time decent paying job and you still live with your parents, don't even move out for a year so. Build your assets and create a sound financial foundation first. Fuck whatever anyone else thinks.
I don't live with my parents, but I'm one of the lucky ones. I'd say if you have a full-time decent paying job and you still live with your parents, don't even move out for a year so. Build your assets and create a sound financial foundation first. Fuck whatever anyone else thinks.
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Props to MINION for making this sig.
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I'm 26 and I have never had my own place. I live alone but home is owned by my mother and stepfather, who live elsewhere because they run a bed & breakfast. I'm a student in college currently, and I don't work. I'm on the Autistic spectrum and I make no apologies for who I am or my life. I just can't work a normal job so I'm majoring in History, hoping to eventually teach it at the college level. I love school, and I basically want to spend the rest of my life there.
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FerraTorr Wrote:
I'm 26 and I have never had my own place. I live alone but home is owned by my mother and stepfather, who live elsewhere because they run a bed & breakfast. I'm a student in college currently, and I don't work. I'm on the Autistic spectrum and I make no apologies for who I am or my life. I just can't work a normal job so I'm majoring in History, hoping to eventually teach it at the college level. I love school, and I basically want to spend the rest of my life there.
I'm 26 and I have never had my own place. I live alone but home is owned by my mother and stepfather, who live elsewhere because they run a bed & breakfast. I'm a student in college currently, and I don't work. I'm on the Autistic spectrum and I make no apologies for who I am or my life. I just can't work a normal job so I'm majoring in History, hoping to eventually teach it at the college level. I love school, and I basically want to spend the rest of my life there.
From my experience, the worst thing you can do is wait. If you're going to teach at any level, start applying yourself now to the various aspects of communication and teaching. Start building on your foundations, so when you graduate you will have some experience at even on the basic level. Something to put on your resume other than just "school". College and work experience is better than just college. Volunteer some place on your free time.
Also, from experience , the word "can't " will damage you mentally in the long run. I done and learned a few things, I thought ,I could never accomplish. Find out what you can do in terms of a job that help you break free, of what you think isn't possible. Being dependent on anyone SUCKS, because you can't really do what you want in terms of an adult.
Back to thread topic. In this economy, I understand why some people are back home. Jobs are still hard to obtain since there aren't that many. Don't stop trying to better yourself in your skill set, while you are still living at home. For the people living at home to take care of loved ones, says more than people who forget and ignore loved ones in their time of need.
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