SubMan799 Wrote:Zentile Wrote:
man this is so bad! I think I'll stop now, I've given up all hope, but I will try to give you constructive criticism so they might get good eventually. Hopefully, you wont discard it by just saying ''oh it'll get better'' this time.
''stop changing colours'' ''watchu talkin bout smoke?'' I honestly can't believe anyone laughed at this. It's just so unfunny. There's just nothing funny about it. The whole thing about making jokes relating to the sprites that you found at the mk warehouse is just not funny.
What kind of recruiting strategy is annoying your target? How does Noob Saibot hope to get Smoke's allegiance by annoying him? Maybe Noob Saibot's just stupid? So it's really funny? No, Noob Saibot had that brain transplant and he's smart now. Well, not really. See? that's what's wrong with that story there. And how exactly is changing colours annoying? I guess I'd have to experience it to understand, another flaw with your comics- I can't identify myself with any of the shit that goes on in it because it's just too much random crap. Look at Shirt Ninja's early stuff where the characters all spoke like normal people. And those cheap ass speech bubbles, gah! Put some work into them instead of treating them like the least important part of the comic. That font is so boring. There's no periods. The speech itself isn't placed right on the speech bubbles most times (best example, when Smoke says ''Nah, done way too many times'' and in the panel before when he says ''how original''. At least you didn't say how ''origanal'' ) . Why exactly is Jax the lead character? He hasn't really done anything that distinguishes him as Jax. Besides that botched first comic. It seems like pretty much everybody has the exact same personality. Smoke, Noob, Motaro and Jax all speak the exact same way. Also, why do the characters need the entire stage to speak to each other? They should be closer. And, there are no shadows which just shows how much effort you're putting into this.
So far, to me, it's all been crap. I hope you get better, other people seem to be enjoying it anyway.
Well, all critiscm is welcome. Noob Saibot isn't even aware that his sprite is constantly changing colors, so he doesn't know he's annoying Smoke. And you think I'll be making Smoke his partner? Why do you think I made smoke say no, been done way too many times? I don't get what you're saying about the speech bubbles. They aren't that bad imo. I've been experimenting with fonts, and still haven't decided which one I'll use. Noob Saibot is currently being showed more to show that he's becoming more of a villain then an annoying person. Smoke is not going to be a main character. Why would there be shadows? It's not that important. "Look, no shadows! That doesn't make sense!" Who cares? It's a sprite comic.
Don't think that huge post you made will go to waste. I think that you're right. I'm rushing through this. I'll take more time on it. Find a perfect font, put the speech where it belongs, and give Jax more show time.
P.S. Pallete Swap Domination will make a return, if this series is succsesful.
I'm very glad you read it carefully, I apreciate it. I also apreciate the fact that you didn't go berserk, alot of people do that. Noob Saibot isn't aware that his sprite changes colours? Yet Jax and Motaro are suppose to know that he already does it ''to annoy people'' alot of times? So nobody has ever told Noob he changes colours up to this point, even though Jax and Motaro already knew by this point? I don't think that makes sense so I assumed Noob Saibot knows he changes colours. I didnt think you were making Smoke his partner, but Noob Saibot WAS trying to recruit him as his partner, and I believed he was annoying him on purpose which was a bad way of recrutiing someone. I now know (not thanks to the comic) that he doesn't do it on purpose so it makes sense now. Another thing: you have to stop explaining stuff to us in posts. You have to make us understand THROUGH the comics. When people go to the movies, they aren't given a card to read what's going on in the movie while watching.
I said there were no shadows because if there were shadows, since the comic is not funny and has nothing else going for it, hey, at least it would have shadows which means you're really dedicated to making it a quality comic. I was just trying to give you ''extra points'' but alas. No shadows. Of course if you have a good, funny comic, you dont need shadows. Hell you dont need backrounds, look at Shirt Ninja's first sprite comics. But you HAVE to be funny. That's the purpose.
Also, I hadn't noticed this before. Something was bothering me about the first comic strip and I couldnt tell what it was but I can now. The sign that says ''NEW COMIC SERIES TRY-OUTS'' looks just like a speech bubble so it's kinda confusing especially in the last two panels. It doesnt look like it's part of the backround.
By the way, about the fonts, they looked fine in the first comic but then they turned into crap. Especially the Noob Saibot ones from the third comic, man those are as boring as possible.
I apreciate that you're taking these things in consideration. Hopefully you'll start making some good ones soon.
Um hmm.
