Name: Crystal
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Place of Origin: Edenia
Alliance: Good
Allies: Jade, Kitana, Sindel, Johnny Cage
Foes: Tanya, Rain, Sonya
Height: 5'8
Weight: 140 lbs.
Hair Color: Black
Eye Color: Hazel
Power: Enabled to control the earth around her.
Distinct Description:
Crystal is a woman full of potential. Crystal is friends with Kitana and Jade. And as she is a servant to her realm Edenia, she follows her Queen, Sindel. She has black hair that barely goes past her ears. Her hazel eyes stand out as the most beautiful part of her body. Her body is thin and smooth, and most boys find her attractive. She wears a different set of style for each day, this way she feels flirtier with the boys. Crystal has a secret love for Johnny Cage, but with him loving Sonya, there might be some problems.
Fighting Styles:
Silat: Silat was a fighting style that Crystal's ancestors have used long ago. Created by her great, great grandfather, Crystal honors her ancestors and uses Silat in combat. With most of knowledge of this fighting style, she is almost guaranteed to win her fights.
Hua Hyduk: Based off of the old traditions her ancestors used, Crystal created a fighting style they both honored her ancestors, and suited her potential. This fighting style is mostly used as kicks and low punches, as the focus of the body is the legs and below the waist.
Scythe: Crytal uses her created scythe for the sharp point towards the tip. With this razing scythe, it will cut even through the toughest Shokan. With long years of practice, Crystal finally mastered her creation, and uses it in her common death matches between other people.
Story:
When the birth of Crystal came to be, her parents were killed by Edenian traitors. Before they died, they hid Crystal in a hole of a near by tree. Luckily, the traitors did not find Crystal. Soon later that day, two girls found Crystal. One was white toned, and was wearing all blue, the other girl was black toned, and wearing all green. They were recognized as Kitana, and Jade. The two girls saved the baby, and took them to the Queen of Edenia, Sindel. Sindel showed nothing but care, love, and compassion for the young girl. For two years she had watched over her, but then there was an incident with the traitors of Edenia again. Sindel put Crystal in the care of Tanya, who was secretly working with the traitors.
After many years of deception towards Sindel, Tanya finally planned out her betrayal. By this time, Crystal was fully grown and was looking after herself, but would still visit both Tanya and Sindel every now and then. Crystal one day decided to go visit her "mother" Tanya. When she came to the home of Tanya, she saw with her someone she didn't expect. It was Rain, a traitor and deceiver to Edenia. Crystal didn't know what to expect. Crystal has been with Tanya for over sixteen years, trusting her and loving her, but to now see that she is a traitor to Edenia, she suddenly despised her, and loathed against her. Crystal quickly ran away as she saw Rain look at her, she fled to Sindel's palace, where she would explain everything to her queen. When she reached the palace, she immediately said everything loud and clear.
Crystal: "Tanya is with them!"
Sindel: "What? What is going on Crystal?"
Crystal: "Tanya is with them! She is with the traitors!"
Sindel: "Don't be ridiculous my dear, Tanya is a member to Edenia, and a loyal citizen. She wouldn't dare betray us!"
Crystal: "No Sindel! It is true! I have seen her talking with Rain! And they had plans on the table!"
Sindel: "Are you sure of this Crystal? Because if this is a fluke the-"
Crystal: "This is no joke your highness! She is a traitor! I am sure of it!"
Sindel: "Then we must stop her! I trust your judgment Crystal, we shall go to Tanya at once! Guards, come!"
Sindel, Crystal, and the Edenian guards exited the palace and made their way to Tanya's home. The distance wasn't a long walk between the two locations, but to Crystal, it seemed like it took the whole day. Finally, they reached Tanya's palace, with Shao Kahn's Tarkata whords waiting outside, with their claws out, and with the most vicious grins on their faces. Crystal didn't notice the Tarkatas as much as she did Rain and Tanya, but smiling towards Sindel.
Tanya: "It is over for you Sindel! I knew your little friend here would bring you to me with some palace guards. That is why I came prepared, these Tarkata forces come straight from Shao Kahn! All are loyal and trained by their leader, Baraka. There is no chance of your worthless guards to come and slay all of these beasts!"
Sindel: "So it is true! You are with the traitors, Tanya! You betrayed Edenia, how could you do such a thing?!"
Rain: "Shao Kahn's forces are more promising to win this war, then to you doing the same. You see, Shao Kahn not only has his Tarkata forces, but he also has his Shokan army. With the clawed mutants, and the four armed beasts, there is no way for Edenia to win"
Tanya: "Face it Sindel, you have lossed. Shao Kahn will come and take control of Edenia, as he was destined to do!"
Crystal: "Never! We may not have you Tanya, but we still have our forces!"
Tanya: "Without me, your forces are nothing."
Sindel: "Tanya, if you choose to be on the side of evil, then you will fall and die in this war!"
Tanya: "I am tired of this chat, Tarkatas, attack!"
The Tarkata forces did as Tanya commanded, and instantly blood was being shed. The Edenian guards quickly reacted and started to fight back. Tanya and Rain both cowardly excused themselves. But Crystal caught this. Crystal and Sindel then chased after Tanya and Rain. Tanya and Rain quickly lost them though, and they were nowhere to be found in the area. The battle between the Tarkatas and the guards raged on. Body parts and blood were being thrown into the sky. Crystal decided to get into the battle, and help her people.
With Crystal helping the guards, the Tarkatas quickly came to their senses, and fled. Crystal, in the mood to kill one more Tarkata, throws her scythe and it is impaled through the back and out the chest of the nearest Tarkata. She ran over, and plunged her weapon out from the mutant. Crystal looked at the guards, then she looked upon Sindel. With sadness in her eyes, Crystal quickly ran to Sindel, and cried. As Crystal was mobbing in the arms of Sindel, she couldn't help but to complain.
Crystal: "We can't let her do this! We can't let her take over Edenia!"
Sindel: "Don't worry... don't worry. It will all be okay."
Crystal: "No, it won't be okay! She will lead Shao Kahn here, and bring his Shokan. How can she do this?!"
Sindel: "Listen to me Crystal, you need to stop Tanya!"
Crystal: "Wha- what?"
There was a long pause. Crystal looked into Sindel's eyes for a long time, pondering on what she has just said. After many moments of staring and confusion, Crystal finally knew that it was her that had to stop Tanya. She knew Tanya the best, not Sindel, nor Kitana or Jade. It was her that would know her every thought and action. It was her, that could stop this plot on Edenian dictatorship. Crystal agreed to find Tanya, and kill her.
Crystal: "I swear, I will stop Tanya before she does anything to harm this realm!"
Crystal then turned from her queen, and looked onto the road above. She didn't feel nor want to say goodbye to her two friends Kitana and Jade, it would be too hard on her. She would have to catch up to Tanya before she got to Shao Kahn, so she didn't waste any time. She ran with all her speed and energy to the trail that led to the Portal, thus she would then make her journey to Outworld.
Author's Remarks: | |
My first female Mortal Kombat character that I thought of. Very promising story! Please read, and enjoy!
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Content | 1347 words | Category | Other | User Views | |
User Likes | User Ratings | 11 | Score |
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It was great the way you expanded her story with real time speech, this gave your character more depth and the reader got a little view of what kind of personality this character has.
As there are already a lot of Edenian women it might have been a better choice to choose a male but i like the way a male writer would create a woman, i would stick to men because i can relate to them but you have done good in creating a female character.
You say she manipulates the land around her, this seems pretty original, along with her styles past down from her ancestors.
You could have mentioned where she learned to fight in these styles, maybe finding a long lost relative or something along the lines of this as she wouldnt have learnt it of her parents as they are deceased.
But overall a great character, better than most that appear on here.
5/5


You mention that her place of origin is Edenia. Since she is Edenian, how does she look age and size wise compared to someone like Kitana who is 10,000 plus years and still looks young and is pretty tall?
How does she learn to control Earth? This ability isn't used anywhere else. She could ahve used it in that battle to stop Rain and Tanya.
When did she meet Cage and how does she know of Sonya? This needs more elaboration.
For Silat you wrote: With most of knowledge of this fighting style, she is almost guaranteed to win her fights. Should go as that makes her seem undefeatable nearly. It's almost saying unless someone is more trained, then they won't beat her. someone of lesser skill in another style could or some god like being or a monster could. Consider saying that her own skill in said martial art is somewhat formidable.
Who are her ancestors?
She created the scythe. You could maybe elaborate on her weapon creation skills and why she choose to wield the scythe of all weapons.
As Randy said, you could mention where she learnt the styles.
One thing to remember when writing a bio like this is the MK timeline. I'm trying to make sense of exactly where this could fit given the timeline and the stuff you mentioned in the beginning of the bio and it doesn't work, at least to my knowledge it doesn't. Although, given that she is Edenian, it's hard to fully say what you can do with them due to their age span.
Also, given Tanya and the involvement of Rain, again there's conflict timeline wise. Especially when MK4 comes into play.
Why does Tanya have a palace? She's an Ambassadors daughter. I would assume they wouldn't live in a palace.
The presence of the Tarkata confuses even more! Tanya wasn't introduced until MK4, so I don't know if it's wise that you involve her with Shao Kahn.
If the Shokan are with Kahn, does this mean timeline wise this is back in the past? If it's supposed to be the present, then the stuff I said earlier means it doesn't work so well.
Shao Kahn will come and take control of Edenia - He did! Edenia was merged with Outworld up until his defeat at the end of MK3/MKT.
Where are Jade and Kitana throughtout the battle? The story sees them not under Kahns rule so again I'm a little confused.
Where is the Portal in the end? You mention a trail so does this mean anyone has access?
Aside from all the above, I like this character. She'd fit in well with the rest of the cast and her choice in styles and weapon as well as her power make her pretty interesting and unqiue. I feel she needs fleshing out a bit more and that and that her powers and some past events need to be mentioned a bit more. Also, add a costume and soem fatalities for her. Aside from those things, a few grammatical errors and the stuff I already commented on, alls good.