Chosen Vampire Nitara
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Chosen Vampire Nitara
07/04/2007 12:30 PM EDT
Dragon PointDragon PointDragon PointDragon PointDragon PointHalf a Dragon Point2.0
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RE: Fan Submission: Chosen Vampire Nitara
07/04/2007 07:27 PM EDT
I really like this. Especially since the fact that you don't want Midway's bio to interfere and you're going on MKDA info. Well established bio. 5/5.
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RE: Fan Submission: Chosen Vampire Nitara
07/05/2007 05:38 AM EDT
this is the kind of stuff that makes me want to get back into writing.
art by fear-sAs
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RE: Fan Submission: Chosen Vampire Nitara
07/06/2007 09:36 PM EDT
RaisnCain Wrote:
I really like this. Especially since the fact that you don't want Midway's bio to interfere and you're going on MKDA info. Well established bio. 5/5.

Thanks. I've been trying to make the stories my own, and have been avoiding using anything that was revealed after MK:D's release, like how Noob Saibot is Sub-Zero's brother and all that stuff. I'm really trying to bring more creativity with this without having to make up my own story, and without having to change it to the point that it;s no longer recognizable as an MK fanfic series.
SmokeNc, you should continue writing. smile
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RE: Fan Submission: Chosen Vampire Nitara
07/06/2007 09:54 PM EDT
This was awesome dude, keep it up!! 5 Dragon Points.

-Ryan C.
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RE: Fan Submission: Chosen Vampire Nitara
07/08/2007 04:03 PM EDT
Jerrod Wrote:
RaisnCain Wrote:
I really like this. Especially since the fact that you don't want Midway's bio to interfere and you're going on MKDA info. Well established bio. 5/5.

Thanks. I've been trying to make the stories my own, and have been avoiding using anything that was revealed after MK:D's release, like how Noob Saibot is Sub-Zero's brother and all that stuff. I'm really trying to bring more creativity with this without having to make up my own story, and without having to change it to the point that it;s no longer recognizable as an MK fanfic series.
SmokeNc, you should continue writing. smile




I do like your Noob Saibot story than Canon Noob Saibot story.
Save a life; Kill a necromorph
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RE: Fan Submission: Chosen Vampire Nitara
07/09/2007 11:44 PM EDT
Good thing you did not fail to mention Cyrax's envolvement with this story Jerrod. I liked that, and it seemed well thought out for Nitara.
5/5.
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RE: Fan Submission: Chosen Vampire Nitara
07/16/2007 02:16 AM EDT
Schweettongue
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RE: Fan Submission: Chosen Vampire Nitara
07/04/2008 02:01 AM EDT
LMAO!!!!!!

Best-intro-ever (after with Sonya’s of course)!

I really enjoyed her matter-of-fact kind of indifferent kind of annoyed voice/attitude when saying they weren’t silly clichés. And the movie reference actually suits her quite well.

You know, I’ve noticed you have a talent and a plan to always start your bios with impressive remarks. Its an excellent tactic because it hooks the reader and it makes the interest grow. So far, all your intro’s have been fantastic, and I see that as good and intelligent writing.

Its like you really know what you are doing, and why you are doing it as well.

Back to the bio, I loved the “sun part”, their “blue star”, it was quite a poetic approach imo. It really did feel like they were all getting their lost hope and faith back, it was great.

Those documents of which Nitara speaks are quite interesting, and you mentioned a dictator call Trom, I wonder if he will play any significant role beyond this bio.

I enjoyed the Khameleon part, it was a nice inclusion, specially considering it could be a small bit of trivia since she appeared in Nitara’s MKDA konquet.

I also like to note that I liked the well-thought info on vampires food and how they evolve and became greater and better, feeding on humans and edenians. Nitaras suggestion that they, the vampires, are the better of the 3 best races was also very cool, it reinforced her attitude.

“At first, the other Vampires, curious of the stranger, flocked around him, but when Cyrax used his explosive teleport to reach me, he sent my people scurrying away faster than an army of ants in a rain storm.”

LOL! That was quite fun!

grin I can already picture the funny bat-like beings flying around in panic.

I LOVED the way Nitara and her people analyzed the situation of the war. While reading the bio I was trying to think of why they would choose to side with the good eyes, it hadn’t even occurred to me that with Onaga in power, that would mean the extinction of their favorite food and the degradation of their race. Nice job!

Nitara is a bitch after all. A manipulator of all kinds, and a realistic strategist of course.

“Cyrax proposed a deliciously wonderful idea that would benefit my people for a generation and would help us in rebuilding our realm.... Cyrax teleported us to a high-security prison somewhere on Earth to dine on some of the sleeping individuals”

*shivers*

Poor prisoners. Hostel is coming back to my mind once again.

*shakes head trying to forget images*

You’ve got me very interested with the “chosen” bit. I hadn’t noticed it could actually mean something deeper. Cant wait to find out!

You’ve overall done an excellent job with her character. She sounds mysterious, intelligent, sadistic (but in a very eloquent way) and scary.

I loved it!

(I insist, the killing prisoners part is horrifying)

Its kind of late now. Im very interested in the outcome of the story and you’ve certainly captured me with all this awesome fan fic bios, that I will most definitely be reading the other bios that I haven’t finished pretty soon.

Its such a shame not many people read the fan fic submissions of the forums. I think some, like your work, disserve some attention.
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RE: Fan Submission: Chosen Vampire Nitara
07/04/2008 01:21 PM EDT
queve Wrote:
LMAO!!!!!!
Best-intro-ever (after with Sonya’s of course)!
I really enjoyed her matter-of-fact kind of indifferent kind of annoyed voice/attitude when saying they weren’t silly clichés. And the movie reference actually suits her quite well.

lmao, thanks a lot! A funny story behind that, my friend for whatever reason, kept on bugging me with information on how much he loved Anne Rice's vampire novels, and considering how oftne he would talk to me about Lestat and all that garbage, I just got really annoyed with it and decided to trash those beliefs with this biography in case anybody wanted me to do some sort of typical vampire thing. Everything I wrote in that first paragraph is a common or obscure myth related to vampires, and I didn't want any of those things to interfere with how I envisioned Nitara.
queve Wrote:
You know, I’ve noticed you have a talent and a plan to always start your bios with impressive remarks. Its an excellent tactic because it hooks the reader and it makes the interest grow. So far, all your intro’s have been fantastic, and I see that as good and intelligent writing.

Thanks a lot! I basically write these with the understanding of how I would want to read something. I know that that first paragraph is important in grabbing a reader, so I do what I can to make it as interesting as possible.
Trom is a significant secondary character and is featured in more than one biographyy (he makes an appearence in Meat's and the upcoming Reiko & Shao Kahn bios). You'll figure out the rest when you get to Meat's though.
queve Wrote:
Poor prisoners. Hostel is coming back to my mind once again. (...) (I insist, the killing prisoners part is horrifying)

Don't think that badly about what happens to the prisoners; Nitara's not a complete monster, it's just that she views Humans and Edenians as we view cows and sheep.
Wow, I also just noticed that this bio was submitted exactly one year ago... lol, thanks for reading my work and for bumping it on its anniversary! tongue
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RE: Fan Submission: Chosen Vampire Nitara
07/15/2008 02:25 AM EDT
LOL at the mockery of the stereotyped vampires. Like I said, that was an excellent start.

Jerrod Wrote:
/>
Wow, I also just noticed that this bio was submitted exactly one year ago... lol, thanks for reading my work and for bumping it on its anniversary! tongue


WOW!! wow Now thats a very cool coincidence. lol! grin
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