I write a lot of short pieces for my highly experimental humor blog. Some pieces I write for it, and I just know they’re great, other pieces I can’t tell if they're good or if they're just plain weird. And I wanted to do a post concerning Mortal Kombat so I wrote this in the last 10 minutes, just freeform stream of conscious type thing. Tell me what you think, because I honestly don’t know what to think of it myself.

An Open Letter to Parents Concerning Violent Videogames

It’s not wrong to play violent videogames, hear me? It’s not wrong. It’s not wrong to fling your opponent off a bridge into a pit of spikes. It's not wrong to rip a fresh, still-beating heart out of thier chest either. As long as you don't carry the violence over into the real world, because that would be wrong.

It’s not wrong to uppercut someone’s head off, virtually. It’s not wrong to want to throw a spear tied to end of a rope at your enemy, impaling them, then quickly dragging them towards you whilst screaming “GET OVER HERE!!!” And it’s not wrong to round-house kick them into a spitting pool of acid directly after that.

It is wrong if that's the only thing that gives you a boner though.

Very wrong.

Fucking freak.

It’s okay to rip your friend’s skin off. It’s okay to pull out his head, spine still attached; as long as it’s in the colorful game world. It’s just fine to morph yourself into a dragon and bite your opponent’s top half off. In fact, it’s more than fine, it’s downright awesome. Though if you dress yourself as Mileena while playing that’s a little weird. And if you let your dog lick peanut-butter off your taint while auto-erotic asphyxiating yourself and your cat is tied spread eagle to a lamp so you can see her pussy, that’s a little fucked up too.