General Sonya Blade
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General Sonya Blade
06/25/2008 01:08 AM EST
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RE: Fan Submission: General Sonya Blade
06/25/2008 01:20 PM EST
Nice, words cannot describe it. I expect to see more from you when you have the time.
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RE: Fan Submission: General Sonya Blade
06/25/2008 01:53 PM EST
Wicked work. Glad to see you didn't give up on this stuff.
Good solid perspective.
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RE: Fan Submission: General Sonya Blade
06/25/2008 06:35 PM EST
Excellent. Thats all I have to say.

5 DP'S.
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RE: Fan Submission: General Sonya Blade
06/25/2008 09:51 PM EST
(I'll reply to your last PM soon buddy! Dont think I've forgotten. I've edited this post btw, read where you think must be read, and below, please! I need some info wink)

You have no idea how much fun I had reading your Fanfic Biography!

You gave a lot of thought, depth and detail to her character (and of course, most of the awesome work you’ve done comes from the very interesting plot details you added that go from small pleasant surprises, to “WTF! WOW!” info) that managed to hook me since the very start to the very end, unlike other horrible Sonya fan fics I have read (and didn’t even finish).

So, you can be assured that Im not saying this because its Sonya, Im being very honest with you because there is simply no point in going all “aww-perfect-lovely-sexy-fun!!!” when Im supposed to be analyzing and giving criticism to the bio as a neutral reader. I know how important it is to be sincere, so I will be fair.

You have an awesome sense of humor, and you do an excellent use of it in this story. I say this because its not overused nor stupid, its not annoying and its definitely not pointless. It balances and contrasts perfectly the story and serious facts that are being given to us through her sarcastic, annoyed, and pissed-off attitude. It doesn’t even feel cliché! Its enjoyable and fun.

I’ve read the entire bio TWICE...and man, I just have to say its perfect. I love the change you did in that part I thought was a bit off for Sonya, now it does sound like her, good job and thanks for hearing!

I’ve analyzed your fan fic bio from beginning to end, and I think there are some very cool details that disserve to be mentioned, just so you know my opinion of why I only found 1 weird thing, and that’s it:

Your introduction to the story is perfect! I enjoyed the Johnny reference in the start because it was quite funny and, one way or the other, it brings a certain nostalgic “trivia” to the character (you know, the supposed relationship between the too and all that stuff). It sounds exactly the way I would picture Sonya to be, specially in that situation. She seems annoyed, about to get all hysterical, very good!

I love the saving the world part! I can honestly just picture Sonya annoyed when saying “It just sounds so cliché no matter how many times I’ve actually done it, and this time, I have to save three worlds...”. The “thank God” fallowed by the “well, technically, Raiden” was awesome, nice touch! (Im seeing all of these things as nice details that give depth in a very peculiar way to the story and her personality, its also a fun way to read the text, just so you know), and I laughed enjoying the part of “Though I don’t exactly accept his methods of...” and “I think his exact words were......Im one of the annoyed ones”.

You know, to accomplish this sort of monologue is not as easy as some might think. It needs to be balanced to be interesting. I think your job with the sarcasm and humor is superb.

Hmmm, Drahmin, huh? As a side note, I found that unexpected and very interesting. I really liked that you used his mkda to develop him into a primary villain. I always thought that ending had potential to rock (even if it mean loosing Quan Chi as an independent character)! Well done!

Another side note: awesome job with mixing up the red dragon clan with the oia in that way, I enjoyed it and found it interesting, and even better with the mention of the vampires to which I will most definitely comment about soon enough.

“I actually bought Hsu Hao a beer or two after work a few times!”...priceless! grin I loved that bit. With this small details and bits of info you give, which might seem unimportant, you give a lot of credibility to the story and character. Makes it feel more real and intense.

“They helped Shang Tsung and Quan Chi with their plans to conquer the realms, and now they are helping us protect ours? Bullshit.”

LMAO! I laughed there as well. Good job!

“Speaking of Vampires, I got to admit, Cyrax bringing the Vampires to our side was kind of scary at first (which I did not tell him at all)”

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can see Sonya being like that. She would be all O_O but pretending to be cool and tough about it. Excellent stuff! You made me laugh a lot with all these Cyrax stuff you wrote. Well done mixing the vampires in the role btw, as I said above, I found it very original and cool.

You actually gave me the chills with this part: “He actually came up with a really good idea of feeding them various prisoners from around the world to deal with overcrowded prisons”..........and the way she says it so matter-of-factly is scary as well.

That bit of your bio is quite strong. I actually stopped to wonder about those poor (or not so poor) prisoners who would be taken out of their cell to be feed to monsters. Hostel came to my mind...that is vicious, cruel, terrifying! Well done, I love it. Im not kidding when I said I felt Goosebumps reading that. I like to think Sonya is talking about evil prisoners, people like rapist and murders...not just people who have stolen something, etc...maybe Im being dramatic, but its good to let you know so you see how strong that part is. Its very good!

“I must admit, I never expected Cyrax to have such a devilish side to him... But then again, he was a Lin Kuei assassin who worked with explosives and capture nets, so it makes sense that he is a little sadistic to go along with his calculating nature...Raiden seems more concerned about the Vampires than the Red Dragons though, claiming that the Vampires are really crafty and are only helping because we’re one of their best food sources; I’d take that over the Red Dragon clan shooting for world domination.”

LMAO!!!!!!! Now that’s the Sonya we all love.

The way she referred to Sub-Zero as “Subby” was also another very cool thing to read. Shows insight of how much they either trust each other, or how secure she is about herself and indifferent about referring to someone like Sub-Zero with such a cute nickname.

LMAO on the Kabal bit, another nice bit of trivia Im sure you got from MKSM. Excellent job! But I’m a bit confused. You are writing this part as if she never met Kabal in Mk3 and MkA? I understand MKA, but wasn’t he a chosen warrior like her in Mk3? Same with Stryker? Didn’t they fight together at least in some part of the story? If you are writing it as if they never crossed paths, then never mind (that’s what I got from the portal bit you wrote).

LOL on the Flash reference as well.

Question: Why did Stryker give her the creeps? Because of his incredible fighting demonstration? That just caught my attention since I didn’t see how that really fitted with the scene. She’s seen worst, I imagine, or maybe it was just a figure of speech.

That could be another possible weird thing in your fic, but maybe I just didn’t understand the reason behind the text.

“One time, Nightwolf was able to change into a copy of Raiden and scare the pants off some Nomad and Centaurian warriors! One Raiden is scary enough, but two?”

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!! I haven’t praised your humor enough man. ^_^

“I would have liked to have seen a Kano transformation... I know that would’ve been better than seeing Johnny collapse after the portal closed and thinking Kung Lao was dead... Isn’t it wonderful having memories of your friends dying and then having ‘em turn up with random stories about resurrection or hiding out?”

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, how did you think of all of this? I cant praise you enough. Those little touches are what make this sort of stories so memorable and fun. I love the irony, the sarcasm and the matter-of-fact voice and attitude you have given Sonya. She even feels innocently thoughtful in the “Kano transformation” bit: priceless! With any luck the mk team reads your stuff and they get slapped on the face for those not so lovely mistakes they commited.

Cool info about Smoke and his involvement with Kabal and the red dragon. I like how you linked them with the respirator bit. It was interesting to discover how Kabal finally recovered his face and that he can now heal rapidly. Strykers bit actually made him a character that would be extremely interesting to see in the game. I love the story you gave him! Good job. Your fan fic bio is filled with interesting stuff that creates new questions and gives answers at the same time. Awesome.

I must say I also love the combination of couples, teams, and characters you’ve done. Kabal being very unlikely to be with Stryker, just one example. Or Sindel with the SF, etc. (Btw, what happened with Kabal and his Black Dragon involvement?)

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!! “They were having a telepathic conversation, and I have to say that it was rude considering Kung Lao and I can’t read minds.” Fantastic! I also enjoyed the bit of “then he got some weird looks from...”, you’ve created an attitude I can easily see Sonya adopting, which makes it all really cool because I can see her speaking with annoyance. Its fun.

“I’m General of the Special Forces division of the OIA and Kung Lao’s the new Grand Champion, you’d think we’d at least get a heads up on what they were doing that was more important than saving the world.”

LOL. Well said! I find it funny you didn’t make her want to knock Raydens hat off or something for being so mysterious with them. grin I also enjoyed her reference regarding he forcing the entire planet to join the war, but not moving a finger to make the other 3 fight as well.

“His life may be depending on it, and the God Squad there can’t find that obnoxious ass anywhere on Earth”

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grin God squad? Obnoxious a*s? I love it! And it sounds so much better with the parts you wrote after that, because it shows her real feelings (of friendship or love, doesn’t matter, it shows she really cares, though love would make it perfect!) towards him. I truly enjoyed reading that, she really sounds frustrated and annoyed.

LOL on the Mokap hate she delivered for not stopping Johnny. Oh! And I just remembered her annoyance with Noob Saibot, not trusting a demon and all. Good!

I also liked how she comes to realize she shouldn’t be that angry with Rayden and Mokap for Johnny’s stupidity (LOL!). And this is another part I LOL’ed a lot:

“Speaking of friends and their idiotic decisions to get themselves killed, Jax volunteered himself for a suicide mission!" This girl really has the entire universe against her, and she really needs to let it all out and complain about it before she decides to kiss her self death.

Brilliant stuff on the Hsu Hao and Jax info! Heheh, I can just picture Mavado’s deadly glare. Whats really wrong with Jax? Could it be the MKA hints of some tekunin corruption?

“I mean, come on, that’s practically out of Star Wars for crying out loud! You’d think that a God wouldn’t be as stupid as a generic movie character.”

LMAO! Well done! And hey, This General Mitharos bit is quite awesome. There are just soooo many cool facts in this fic that I enjoy getting surprised about. Just when you think there wont be any huge surprises, you get cool stuff like this (Nether-energy, now THAT’S something no one ever though about...awesome!).

And yes, Rayden has been quite stupid for doing what he did. It almost seems like the main problems were caused by him, and that he, being the all-powerful-being he is, doesn’t really care to give an apology.

“and make sure that no Red Dragons do anything funny”, hehhehe.

And hey, why is Khameleon so important to Nitara???? I want to know dammit! This was such a great fan fic!

I also like that part were Sonya reveals to be scared about Reiko’s unnatural powers, makes her feel quite human. You see a nice blend of her bravery and toughness, and of her “sensitive vulnerability”. She isn’t as tough as she needs to make the world believe (including herself) to keep things in order and under control, she shows us that she is also a human being with those other type of sensible emotions (love, fear, solitude, etc).

I really liked how you made her wonder about her closest friends and how she would had loved to have them by her side in that super battle (the one were she counted with Sindels aid).

Talking about my fave goth-witch of MK, I have to tell you (again) that one thing I really liked is the way you didn’t 100% fallow any sort of “known typical rules” when teaming up the characters. I mean, it is very enjoyable to read about Red Dragon, Lin Keuis and OIA working together, and even more to read about Sindel fighting with all those forces and not with the Edenian ones, as one would typically assume she should. All that explanation about her scream and how they tried to reproduce it through technology but failed is fantastic!

Again, it reminds me of the special forces/OIA we saw in the Konquest of MKA. That game managed to finally show us the OIA in action, in brilliant action! It gave the OIA credibility, it made it feel real, like its really doing something in the world, and your text about the work and things they are doing is no exception. It also adds some “magic” to the world of the SF/OIA if you know what I mean. It adds that very cool essence that makes it feel very real, very powerful and very important. They have strong presence that’s enjoyable to read. Its believable!

Too bad they couldn’t reproduce Sindels screams in the end, but the reasons you gave, lol, fantastic! Very realistic for lack of a better word. You might be a secret OIA member for all I know.

Cool info about Smoke and his involvement with Kabal and the red dragon. I like how you linked them with the respirator bit. It was interesting to discover how Kabal finally recovered his face and that he can now heal rapidly. Strykers bit actually made him a character that would be extremely interesting to see in the game. I love the story you gave him! Good job. Your fan fic bio is filled with interesting stuff that creates new questions and gives answers at the same time. Awesome.

Brilliant stuff on the Hsu Hao and Jax info! Heheh, I can just picture Mavado’s deadly glare. Whats really wrong with Jax? Could it be the MKA hints of some tekunin corruption?

“I mean, come on, that’s practically out of Star Wars for crying out loud! You’d think that a God wouldn’t be as stupid as a generic movie character.” LMAO! Well done! And hey, This General Mitharos bit is quite awesome. There are just soooo many cool facts in this fic that I enjoy getting surprised about. Just when you think there wont be any huge surprises, you get cool stuff like this (Nether-energy, now THAT’S something no one ever though about...awesome!).

And yes, Rayden has been quite stupid for doing what he did. It almost seems like the main problems were caused by him, and that he, being the all-powerful-being he is, doesn’t really care to give an apology.

“Sindel’s basically going to keep us alive long enough to throw punches at the tin-cans.” LOL!!

“I kind of wish that we had more firepower from more people I was familiar with, but since I’m General of the Special Forces, I can’t let it show that I want more of my friends on Earthrealm, helping me in battle.”

Aawwwwww, this is what I was talking about regarding her emotions, Very good! I also liked that bit of her getting all ready about going but still feeling some sort of desperate frustration at needing to wish Jax good luck and be scared of what is about to happen, and scared of loosing more friends to “those monsters”.

“Anyway, I hope that this isn’t my last entry, as I’d hate to leave this on such a sad note... Hopefully I can get through this to write one more time to say we won.”

Perfect “ending” for what I honestly think is a superb bio!!!!

(SIDE NOTE: Sonya better survive after all that reading and typing!!!!! Im eager to read more bios from other characters perspectives, but I really think no one will be as sarcastic and ironic as her in that sense smile lol)

Seriously man, you did a terrific job with this fan fic! The excellent thing is that, despite there being soooo many interesting and cool events, you never once break the balance of the “separate-story” and “character”. Im not sure if you can understand what Im saying, but what I mean is, that you did a great job giving both things equal importance and predominance.

The character feels, most of all, natural. And that alone makes it perfect. Its real, it’s the way we imagine and conceive Sonya Blade to be...its perfect!

I read it twice because I found it very interesting and well developed, and trust me, Im not one who sits and finishes reading a fan fic when its poor or badly written, since I hate that and it gets me really bored and frustrated.

Again, theres only one weird thing I found (but you already changed that grin. good to know you valued my opinion!), and the funny thing is that its not even that important. The “creeps” part could be a second thing, but you can have the explanation as to why she’d be like that.

BTW, LOL! Many thanks for the “Sonya Authority of MKO” title you gave me. Im honored. *bows* grin

I’ve been completely honest and sincere with my opinions regarding this fan fic, Ihope you know that.

Tell me what you think of my “review” or “analysis”, and if you have any concerns or doubts, please let me know! I’ll be glad to help. And of course, since the story’s got me very hooked, give me some details of what the hell is going on, because its really been chaotic for poor Sonya. And where is Johnny Cage? (though I can perfectly understand why you wouldnt tell me, I'll obviously love to find out in your next bio fic!) I think I’ll stop writing now, lol, one more page and this is going to turn into a bible!

Im so glad I read it all today and replied. It was very long and took me a long time to reply, but reading it felt sooo short (it was too good buddy).

AWESOME WORK JERROD!!!

5/5? I dont think so. You should be able to get a 100.

Btw, can you give me links to your other fan fics that Im supposed to read to get a better picture of this story? The ones that link/tie with whats happening here? Also, in what order should I read them?

Hugs

queve
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RE: Fan Submission: General Sonya Blade
06/25/2008 11:23 PM EST
I’m glad that you all enjoyed reading the biography, believe me, and it’s really good to hear that I haven’t lost my touch. wink
In all honesty, I won't be giving up on these bios any time soon, but the problem is finding the time to work on them and then finish them. The Reiko/Shao Kahn has been under development for over a year now, and no where near complete. I was afraid I was losing my touch after spending so much time on that one, so I gave it a break to work on Sonya's bio, and I'm happy to know that you all like it. Hers took only a few weeks to finish compared to Reiko/Shao Kahn's which has a whole lot of backstory to cover for both those characters (the bio starts off before Shao Kahn became Emperor, and before Shinnok and Raiden fought for Earthrealm) . Plus, I'm trying to make sure I'm not repetitive in that bio, which is really hard.

For Stryker being creepy to her, I did that simply because nobody would find Stryker creepy at all (most find him too generic and boring), so I felt that that would be a surprising reaction from someone like Sonya. Considering how he was able to take such a beating from Kabal and still be completely relentless in fighting with him, as well as having the nano-technology merged with him and manipulate it in any way he chooses, I hoped that that would be enough to deem him creepy to her.

I’m glad you thought that Cyrax feeding prisoners to the vampires was chilling and strong, as that was my intention. It gives us a better idea about both Cyrax and Sonya and how they view the world a bit more in black and white than most would assume (if one is in prison, then they must’ve done something wrong). Sonya has no problem with this, as it makes her units safe from being attacked by the vampires, and it also shows that though Cyrax is now a good guy, he still has a darker nature, and he is still a cyborg that believes more in logic than in right or wrong. If any of this gave you chills, you’ll be frozen when you read his ending.

The reason Sonya’s acting like she doesn’t know Smoke, Kabal, or Stryker is because I have it so that they never met in MK3. The chosen warriors were scattered across the planet, so with that in mind, I felt that it might’ve occurred that they never met up while the Extermination Squads were hunting them. Another reason I did this was because I felt that if characters like Smoke, Kabal, and Stryker were important enough to the rest of the cast, they would’ve been mentioned more often, but they never were, especially in MKDA’s Konquest (aside from Mavado almost killing Kabal), so I decided to use that as a reason to believe that most of the characters don’t know each other. No biography or ending is really specific in stating who fought with whom in MK3, so I just went with them never meeting each other.

I’m glad you noticed how Raiden didn’t mention Kabal being part of the Black Dragon; I did that because if Raiden mentioned that about Kabal’s past, Sonya would automatically become hostile towards him, as we know she hates any Black or Red Dragon member. Think of that as a nod towards what kind of person Raiden is and how he understands Sonya better than she thinks.

I do have to remind you that this is meant to be a revision of MKD, because all of these biographies were meant to be released and completed before MK:D ever came out (in fact, before any biographies or character information ever came out), so I’m not using anything from MK:D or MK:A (I’ve actually never played MKA, so I didn’t know that the OIA had such a big role in the Konquest mode). This revision is taking most of the MKDA endings into account, and any information before that that was not 100% confirmed, so just so you don’t have to worry, he isn’t being influenced by the Tekunin. Also, there won't be any Kamidogu either.

The story idea behind Sindel fighting on Earthrealm instead of Edenia will be explained in another biography (Sindel won’t have one), but the main reason I mentioned her was because I felt that I didn’t have enough heroes fighting on Earthrealm (it was originally only going to be Sonya, Jax, Smoke and Mokap), and I felt that that was ridiculous and unrealistic, so I used Kai and Sindel to balance it out more between the number of heroes in each realm. Plus, Sindel is supposedly really powerful, but we have never seen her in action, so I thought that her using her powers to prevent an entire army from using their strongest weapons outlines how much of a force she can be. If the OIA could just copy what she could do, it would make Sindel seem replaceable, but like this, it makes her extremely important and unique. She also gives Earthrealm a “superpower” character to use (Outworld forces have Blaze, and Edenian forces have Fujin).

And last, but not least, here's a link to every single biography I've submitted. Here’s the link to all my biographies. Enjoy reading them all! You could also click on them in my signature (placed in the order they were written). They all basically connect to one-another, so the order isn't that important, but for a few suggestions, read them like this...

-Red Dragon Mavado and Lin Kuei Grandmaster Sub-Zero one after the other (whichever is read first doesn't matter).

-Cyrax's Search, then Chosen Vampire Nitara.

-Meat's Purpose, then Shadow Watcher Noob Saibot.

-Tekunin Grandmaster Sektor, then Smoke's Vendetta.

-Shang Tsung and Sohcaro, then Jade's Suspicions.

Johnny Cage's Nightmare technically should go last, but if you read it first, it sets the dark mood I have going for the entire cast. Enjoy, and thanks again everyone for the support!
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RE: Fan Submission: General Sonya Blade
06/28/2008 10:10 PM EST
So whos next? I cant wait for the next one. Reiko? Shao Kahn? Ermac?(A pipe dream, I know, since you already said you wouldnt do one for himsad)
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RE: Fan Submission: General Sonya Blade
06/30/2008 12:51 AM EST
The next one should be "Reiko and Shao Kahn" but if I feel that I'm getting bored writing it (again), then I'll move on to someone else. I've got a good 12 characters more to write about before I write out all their endings in one submission.
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