mk vs dc fanfic pt 1
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08/11/2008 12:49 PM (UTC)by
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rayden4u2335
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Member Since
04/20/2008 04:55 PM (UTC)
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Poasty-Guy
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About Me
We've got chicken tonight. Strangest damn things. They're man made.
08/11/2008 12:49 PM (UTC)
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In response to rayden4u2335's piece:


reading it, it's obvious you at least have some idea on how to write properly but some areas are lacking.

reading the first paragraph alone it's too punchy

the sentences need some more flow, perhaps by combining some to make longer sentences? it seems punchy..


spell check is another thing that should have been done.


keep writing.
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