Mortal Kombat:Khaos Legacy
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posted01/21/2005 06:42 PM (UTC)by
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NickW
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"Congragulations.Your still alive....Most people are so ungreatful of being alive.But not you.".~~Saw puppet.

Member Since
01/11/2005 11:32 PM (UTC)
ANOTHER attempt for a good freakin fan fic...

And I couldn't add it because I don't have the right files....


Mortal Kombat: Khaos Legacy Part I

By:NicholasWedge

A man in a cape came to the throne of Shao Kahn. A figure was siting on the throne and looked at the man with the cape.

“Have you been followed????” The figure sitting in the throne asked.

“No....”Replied the man in the cape.

“Excellent,”The figure said.”Now the whole world will bow down to...”

“SHAO KAHN!!!!!!!Muhahahahaahahahha!!!!!!!”


Meanwhile...

A man was running in the darkness and one eye was red.

“STOP!!!!!”Yelled Jax.

Kano pulled his knife out and sliced Jax across the check.

“YOU SLIMY SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!”Jax yelled as he grabbed Kano’s arm.

And he Rapidly punched him in the face.And ended it with one finale upper cut.

Kano was dead.

Meanwhile...

“Concentrate....”Sub zero said.He was teaching his class the basics of a Lin Kuei.

Suddently a fire hand from the ground roes and grabbed sub zero and pulled him down.


Meanwhile...

“Now I must see your skills. ”Shao Kahn said. ”Reptile!!!!”

“Yessssssssssss masssssssssssssssster???”Reptile replied.

“Fight our guest.”Shao Kahn said.

“With pleasure....”Reptile sneered.

“Wait!!!!” The Figure said. “Before we begin.... How about seeing my face....”

The figure took his cape off.

“WHAT??!!!?!?!?! I-I-It can’t be!!!!!!!” Reptile said.

End of Part I



Sorry it was kinda short.
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Chrome
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01/17/2005 03:35 PM (UTC)
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Not only short, but terrible.

OK, first, you should use more in-deph conversations.

Second, leave this "minimal art" like descriptions of the events. This is like a bad computer game. Jax goes. Jax is attacked. By Kano. Kano dies by an uppercut. Damn, you should be not afraid to use your vocabulary. How about this:

"With a swing, Kanos butterfly sword flew across the air, slicing through the mist that was surrounding them, and painted the floor red, as the blade carved it's path through the majors muscles."

Third, there is no point of the whole events taking place. You cannot go on without a proper explanatory line, even if you intend to explain everything la-ter. I know what you tried to do, but believe me, you cannot go on without a proper backing of the plotline.

try some of my advices and contact someone experienced with novels. That should do the trick. But you definitely need more time to ponder on things, and to increase your repertoire. smile
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BlackErmac
01/17/2005 03:44 PM (UTC)
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this just sucks...
boooring sleep
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-A-nubis
01/17/2005 03:48 PM (UTC)
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lol....you suck at making comics, posting and making threads and you suck at writing fanfics....what are you good in?
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Chrome
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01/17/2005 04:23 PM (UTC)
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You know, posting things like that makes less sense than his novel?
Try to be constructive for Gods sake. He sucks at this ... yet, but can' you
encourage him to do something better?
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NickW
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"Congragulations.Your still alive....Most people are so ungreatful of being alive.But not you.".~~Saw puppet.

01/19/2005 09:49 PM (UTC)
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Hey -A-nubis,

[img]http://img9.exs.cx/img9/7679/ahemcopy8pp.png[/img]

If you don't like the art,THEN FREAKIN GO....
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Vampyre
01/20/2005 03:03 PM (UTC)
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NickW Wrote:
Hey -A-nubis,

[img]http://img9.exs.cx/img9/7679/ahemcopy8pp.png[/img]

If you don't like the art,THEN FREAKIN GO....


Go where? and i think the only art you did their on your 'artwork' was the text itself, and that it is still poor.. i recommend some more detail and stop with the meanwhiles in your stories..
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GreatQueenSindel
01/20/2005 03:43 PM (UTC)
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furious
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-A-nubis
01/20/2005 04:36 PM (UTC)
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NickW Wrote:
Hey -A-nubis,

[img]http://img9.exs.cx/img9/7679/ahemcopy8pp.png[/img]

If you don't like the art,THEN FREAKIN GO....


stfu nub! and stop posting crap!




smile
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djwoodford
01/20/2005 05:43 PM (UTC)
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NickW Wrote:
Hey -A-nubis,

[img]http://img9.exs.cx/img9/7679/ahemcopy8pp.png[/img]

If you don't like the art,THEN FREAKIN GO....


Hey Nick, since were posting pictures now, heres one for you...




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-A-nubis
01/20/2005 05:44 PM (UTC)
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djwoodford Wrote:
NickW Wrote:
Hey -A-nubis,

[img]http://img9.exs.cx/img9/7679/ahemcopy8pp.png[/img]

If you don't like the art,THEN FREAKIN GO....


Hey Nick, since were posting pictures now, heres one for you...







lololololol that made me laugh! tongue
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BlackErmac
01/20/2005 09:18 PM (UTC)
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To tell you one more time NickW!

you just suck at everything!! furious and next time you made something, show it your mommy....NOT US!!!
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NickW
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About Me

"Congragulations.Your still alive....Most people are so ungreatful of being alive.But not you.".~~Saw puppet.

01/20/2005 10:18 PM (UTC)
0
*Clunches teeth*

DO YOU WANT TO KNOW EXCACLY HOW MAD I AM?????THIS IS HOW
F**KIN MUCH I'M MAD!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.gigaville.com/comic.php?id=118
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-A-nubis
01/21/2005 03:34 PM (UTC)
0
just stop posting you stupid bitch and leave this site! and stop posting stupid shit like that what you just did
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Chrome
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01/21/2005 06:31 PM (UTC)
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This shows exactly how demented this site can be on occasions.
How amusing. But fucking with Nick is getting really old now, so stop it!

And Nick, take an advice: you just lost your chance to be taken seriously.
try something in the future to redeem your current state of fuck-clown.
Hope you grow a decent member. It all depends on you.

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tgrant
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Project MKK: Coming soon...

Currently working on: MKD & MKA - The One Ring Theory
01/21/2005 06:42 PM (UTC)
0
Enough of this. I'd have thought some of you would've been more mature about your comments and replies. Thanks to do those who were.

Thread closed!
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