Reikos Revelation
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Reikos Revelation
03/13/2010 01:48 AM EST
  • United States of America
Rank Student
Likes11 received
2 given
RE: Fan Submission: Reikos Revelation
04/20/2010 02:42 PM EST
This was a great read.
Rank Mortal
Likes0 received
0 given
RE: Fan Submission: Reikos Revelation
04/24/2010 01:56 PM EST
This was an interesting read. If I understood it correctly, Reiko was originally a demon who became trapped in an Outworldian (human) body? Creativity such as that is what I love reading--getting away from the straightforward plot of the actual game. You had a smooth story to follow, and getting it from Reiko's own perspective made it all the more effective.

Although, relating to the first person aspect of this piece, I thought the accent you gave Reiko was extremely forced, giving it more of a Kano feel than the right British tone you were describing. I got to say, however, that it was definitely appropriate in some areas:

Jerrod Wrote:
The girl made some kind of purple baton appear and started fightin' me. I like seein' a woman with spunk, so I wasn't bothered...

Some of the breadcrumb moments you laid out there were enjoyable, such as that one bit about Reiko being "content" with having served Satan--or being how you named him, Lucifer--prior to taking orders from Shinnock. It's those little things that really grab attention.

Well done, Jerrod, and keep at it.
4 DPs
  • Canada
Rank Portal Guard
Likes0 received
0 given
RE: Fan Submission: Reikos Revelation
04/28/2010 12:31 AM EST
Thanks to both of you for reading my work, I really appreciate it. smile
imtimi Wrote:
Well done, Jerrod, and keep at it.

I shall; two more bios to proofread.
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