sektor seven who is scorpi-kahn ch 1 cyber attack
  • Page:
  • 1
sektor seven who is scorpi-kahn ch 1 cyber attack
07/28/2010 08:14 PM EST
2.0
  • United States of America
Rank Kombatant
Posts3916
Likes24 received
23 given
RE: Fan Submission: sektor seven who is scorpi-kahn ch 1 cyber attack
07/29/2010 12:24 PM EST
In response to Sektorseven's piece:

While your description instantly made me detest you as a person, I still feel a need to critique your writing(although I don't know if you could call it critique).

Firstly, I really don't understand what the point is of critiquing your work, you just seem to ignore everything the users of this site tell you and continue writing sub-par stories in the same abysmal way. You still lack certain grammar and spelling skills, and the story is sub-par.

Then you go on and say "Here you go critics, some "REAL," writing." putting that extra sarcastic emphasis on 'real' to make sure we all know that you don't give a shit about what anyone says about your "writings,"

btw, if you do actually plan on reading through this, it would be a good idea to not use lame internet reference for any future 'writings.' That whole "All Your Base" thing got old IMO.


Old Signature Collection
~Vash_15,redman~

  • United States of America
Rank Student
Posts121
Likes0 received
0 given
RE: Fan Submission: sektor seven who is scorpi-kahn ch 1 cyber attack
07/30/2010 06:42 AM EST
why is everything i write "sub par"?confusedconfusedconfused
"If it is alive it can feel pain. If it has eyes it can see it own suffering. If it has blood you can make it bleed. If it has a mouth you can make it scream." Darth i forgot his name. "Thats the best thing about you humans. You bleed." a tarkatan warrior.
  • United States of America
Rank Kombatant
Posts3916
Likes24 received
23 given
RE: Fan Submission: sektor seven who is scorpi-kahn ch 1 cyber attack
07/30/2010 10:40 AM EST
Sektorseven Wrote:
why is everything i write "sub par"?confusedconfusedconfused

I don't know, that 's your problem, but you should proofread your story, then have someone else read it (If you want a profession opinion of your writing before you post it on MKO, don't ask a parent or anyone else involved with this horrible crossover DnD game, because they will sugar coat it when they are involved)

Oh, and basing your story on a jumbled up DnD game is a bad idea too.


Old Signature Collection
~Vash_15,redman~

  • United States of America
Rank Student
Posts121
Likes0 received
0 given
RE: Fan Submission: sektor seven who is scorpi-kahn ch 1 cyber attack
07/30/2010 06:22 PM EST
1. its not that i dont a F*** about that stuff you tell me. i used the word critic because it fells like no one appreaciates my stuff. i am pulling my hair out of my head trying to figure out to write things that will please you people.

2. this is also loosely based off a TV show episode talking about a computer hacker who pulls pranks. now in this story Cyrax is looking for the hacker known as scorpi-kahn, inside cyberspace. i mean literaly walking around in cyberspace chasing this hacker. that will be explained soon in a later chapter.
"If it is alive it can feel pain. If it has eyes it can see it own suffering. If it has blood you can make it bleed. If it has a mouth you can make it scream." Darth i forgot his name. "Thats the best thing about you humans. You bleed." a tarkatan warrior.
  • Mexico
Rank Fatality
Posts1521
Likes1 received
0 given
RE: Fan Submission: sektor seven who is scorpi-kahn ch 1 cyber attack
07/30/2010 07:28 PM EST
Ok this is waay to short nothing is really happening exept someone had guts in their mouth and the computer systems went down. Really it was not interesting at all, I got bored less than halfway in, i mean its not just that its short, it is that its short and boring.

Ok the part where he goes to the facility and talks to ``techys`` was really lame and uncreativer, guts in his mouth, i dont know why anyone would do that like even baraka wouldnt do that. Really pointless paragraph and poorly written But who would blame you.

Everything seems childish, the dialouge, concepts, even some sentances: It was a normal day for Crimson D. The koloseum was full of people. The blood and body parts were flying and Kahn was laughing.
Ok like explain what happened what do you mean by normal day, all I know is that blood and guts are flying and some one named Crimson D. is eating and letting them hang out his mouth.

The rest was uncreative, unoriginal, and whats with the whole scorpio-khan. The computer system was hacked, everyone panicked, we rebooted the system, to be continued. Seriously, thats all you could think of.

Overall it was boring and poorly written, my 4 year old nephew tells me better stories.
  • United States of America
Rank Student
Posts121
Likes0 received
0 given
RE: Fan Submission: sektor seven who is scorpi-kahn ch 1 cyber attack
07/31/2010 09:55 AM EST
the next chapter will be more intense. and as it goes on you will see something unique and the tricks the hacker pulls will be more malicious.
"If it is alive it can feel pain. If it has eyes it can see it own suffering. If it has blood you can make it bleed. If it has a mouth you can make it scream." Darth i forgot his name. "Thats the best thing about you humans. You bleed." a tarkatan warrior.
  • United States of America
Rank Fatality
Posts14288
Likes2 received
0 given
RE: Fan Submission: sektor seven who is scorpi-kahn ch 1 cyber attack
07/31/2010 09:58 PM EST
Sektorseven Wrote:
1. its not that i dont a F*** about that stuff you tell me. i used the word critic because it fells like no one appreaciates my stuff. i am pulling my hair out of my head trying to figure out to write things that will please you people.


Hmm... well, after reading some of your works, I can see why not too many people enjoy your stuff. Seeing how you put things from other video games that are no where near Mortal Kombat, I can understand exactly why they wouldn't like it.

Your grammar and spelling needs to be fixed, I reckon you first write your work in Word and do spell check and see if any of your sentences need to get changed and such. But claiming this as "real" writing, no. It is certainly not, as it's completely short and completely vague. Real writing requires details. Who is Crimson D.? Why are people eating everyone? Also, don't give nicknames to words that you either cannot spell, or don't feel like writing out complete like "techy." Actually write "technician" or something similar like that. It just shows lack of effort of actually writing something that's "real writing."


Sektorseven Wrote:
2. this is also loosely based off a TV show episode talking about a computer hacker who pulls pranks. now in this story Cyrax is looking for the hacker known as scorpi-kahn, inside cyberspace. i mean literaly walking around in cyberspace chasing this hacker. that will be explained soon in a later chapter.


Despite that you're getting ideas off of television shows and characters from other video games, your stories are unoriginal since your not really making it feel like you're taking the time and effort to actually do something new. You're just changing characters from that show with your "created" characters. I'm not really liking the whole "Scorpi-kahn" name you're giving this character. Really not liking it.
Rank Mortal
Posts23504
Likes4 received
0 given
RE: Fan Submission: sektor seven who is scorpi-kahn ch 1 cyber attack
08/01/2010 01:26 AM EST
What I find the most hilarious is that despite none of you liking his stuff, his threads get far more replies than things with actual great art inside them.
  • United States of America
Rank Student
Posts121
Likes0 received
0 given
RE: Fan Submission: sektor seven who is scorpi-kahn ch 1 cyber attack
08/01/2010 07:42 PM EST
Speaking of which i submitted a few other things before this story. did they get lost?
"If it is alive it can feel pain. If it has eyes it can see it own suffering. If it has blood you can make it bleed. If it has a mouth you can make it scream." Darth i forgot his name. "Thats the best thing about you humans. You bleed." a tarkatan warrior.
  • Hungary
Rank Student
Posts13894
Likes1 received
0 given
RE: Fan Submission: sektor seven who is scorpi-kahn ch 1 cyber attack
08/02/2010 06:39 AM EST
Sektorseven Wrote:
Speeking


For one, you should improve your grammar.
  • Page:
  • 1