sektorseven log entry no. 78651 red dragon
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sektorseven log entry no. 78651 red dragon
06/23/2010 10:10 AM EST
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RE: Fan Submission: sektorseven log entry no. 78651 red dragon
06/24/2010 09:28 AM EST
i really took my time on this one and tried to format it correctly. i also threw in a new style in the form of a conversation transcript. i hope this is better the my other 2. it took me awile to word the conversation the way i wanted. so yeh i opinion think this one is my best one so far.

citations: galactic credits idea belongs to the star wars® franchise of lucusfilms ltd®
space pirates belong to metroid® of nintendo
mk® belongs to WB interactive®
"If it is alive it can feel pain. If it has eyes it can see it own suffering. If it has blood you can make it bleed. If it has a mouth you can make it scream." Darth i forgot his name. "Thats the best thing about you humans. You bleed." a tarkatan warrior.
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RE: Fan Submission: sektorseven log entry no. 78651 red dragon
07/18/2010 07:55 AM EST
for people who wish to know. section N44E is a secret sektor seven prison or detention facility. for some reason just spending a few hours in there is enough to drive the strongest and most brave warrior in the realms insane. so people are terrafied of the place.
"If it is alive it can feel pain. If it has eyes it can see it own suffering. If it has blood you can make it bleed. If it has a mouth you can make it scream." Darth i forgot his name. "Thats the best thing about you humans. You bleed." a tarkatan warrior.
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RE: Fan Submission: sektorseven log entry no. 78651 red dragon
07/18/2010 11:10 PM EST
You actually included nuggets of gold like how this takes place during MKA Konquest with Sonya attacking the base, and how your main character is your KAK from the game? How was that necessary, or essential to this part of the story? Also, the writing still sounds childish ("Blabbity Blade") and the descriptions you provided in your posts should be explained in your stories, not told as afterthoughts.
If this guy is supposed to be a high-ranking, serious officer, he shouldn't sound like he's a whinny kid in high school, man. It ruins the fantasy. It doesn't matter how you hear the adults in your real world talk, they should have nothing to do with how you want us to imagine Crimson talk.
Also, Jax killed Hsu Hao and Sonya hated him for destroying the OIA after gaining their trust, so where'd he come from and why does she all of a sudden care? These are details that should be explained in your "entries" and not posted after the story has been loaded here.
MKO Moderator, Story Writer, Actor
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