sektorseven personal log
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sektorseven personal log
06/21/2010 08:03 PM EST
2.0
  • Togo
Rank Student
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RE: Fan Submission: sektorseven personal log
06/22/2010 05:09 AM EST
This time I only gave you a 3/5 on Dragon Points. I really do think you should follow my advice i posted on your other work and you should take A LOT more time on your work. I'm only saying this to help you so don't be angered with me. Take your time because MKO is not going anywhere. This is basically just one BIG wall post with really noticeable mistakes.

Another thing is; and forgive me for saying this but some parts of it had me laughing pretty damn hard. I'll show you what I mean...

Sektorseven Wrote:
which probably not anytime soon. So now my fellow space pirates are wandering where I am all the time now. And when they saw me with kahn they were like WTF!?!.


^This had me laughing because i can just imagine it. I can just see them turning around then be all like "What..The..Fuck" grin

Here's another;

Sektorseven Wrote:
wondering why I was allowed to sit next to him and when I told them it was a punishment for booting him out of his stronghold they said that they told me that was it was a bad idea but nooooooo I wouldn't listen and now I am facing the consequences of my stupidity. So I told them to STFU!!!.


One problem with this I see, is that you should have used " ". It was one INSANELY long run on sentence. At the same time it made me laugh because yet again if I picture it in my head i start laughing... Just seeing some dudes talkin' shit then you tell them to "Shut the fuck up!!!" Lmao good one man.

I do like your work SektorSeven, and do want you to keep trying. Just next time take your time, and maybe even PM me if you want me to read over it before you post so I can help you revise it grin

Keep it up man

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RE: Fan Submission: sektorseven personal log
06/23/2010 12:01 PM EST
thx and to tell you the truth i really dont have alot of time to write plus again this is my main style of writing. i am not angry at you. also i really dont have alot of imagaination to come up with long storys plus a short attention span too. so in a way i can help the way i write. so sorry if they kinda suck. and plus i never did well in english class so yeh my grammer sux. also my phones grammer check realy sux. so yeh my verson of office 4 win mobile sux. but i am tring as hard as i can to create good storys and some will be better than others. but thx 4 the advice.

citations: space pirates belong to Metroid® of Nintendo®
MK® belongs to WB interactive®
"If it is alive it can feel pain. If it has eyes it can see it own suffering. If it has blood you can make it bleed. If it has a mouth you can make it scream." Darth i forgot his name. "Thats the best thing about you humans. You bleed." a tarkatan warrior.
  • United States of America
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RE: Fan Submission: sektorseven personal log
06/23/2010 12:05 PM EST
btw i also had lulz too while writing this.
"If it is alive it can feel pain. If it has eyes it can see it own suffering. If it has blood you can make it bleed. If it has a mouth you can make it scream." Darth i forgot his name. "Thats the best thing about you humans. You bleed." a tarkatan warrior.
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