LOL! Scorpion was crushed.

Seriously though, you guys have to flaming each other before everybody gets banned. You can only imagine...

My komics are decent, right?

LOL Have at you. Man, this rocked. I'm really sleepy right now but I'll write an elaborate post exposing just why this comic is so good.
8/10.

Does Scorpion say one of Sub Zero's lines in panel 6?

It's well made by the way, but no laughs over here I'm afraid

Fixed.

That was definitely good. 4/5

Yeah, panel six looks like it should be Sub-Zero's dialogue. Stray tail.
And when the blurry photoshop ship is coming in, would it maybe be beneficial to still have Scorpion visible? For my tastes it wasn't clear enough who was saying what there, and why.

Juvenile, but not bad. I'd probably have to agree with JimboLimbo. Hot much of a payoff for a laugh. (I'm assuming wry is an in-gag)

Length is an issue.
I think if the set up were much quicker, it might be a bit punchier.
The first few panels are really unnecessary. Getting to the crux of the issue quicker would probably help deliver it with smoother beats, and enhance the MKII flashback.

Right now the beginning still seems like it's trying to be a slow moving, serious sprite strip.

I'd cut the first panel, combine 3-6 into maybe one panel, completely eliminating the silent pause. As counter-character as it is, it's not so shocking that there's any need for a comedic pause there.
I'd combine 7 and 8, maybe taking out the 'brother of my enemy' to make room for the script gag.
I'd cut 9 and 10, because that's just beating the reader over the head with the gag that's already been made. (One or two people might not pick up the visual reference, but it's worth keeping it for strength).

And, yeah. Just slipping Scorpion in there under the ship (and maybe make it a little less blurry), maybe with some kind of reaction. I don't know, it depends if you want to play it as an 'uh-oh' moment of inevitablity, or if you want it to sneak up on an attacking Scorpion.

But yeah, good effort.
Length, I think, is one of the biggest enemies to the sprite strippers here. Tighten it up, cut the fat, and groovy!

It wasn't funny, and what was behind Scorpion in panal 2? But it looked cool.

Haha, good job.

Extra points for killing Scorpion. 5/5.

kthx

Ah, ScorpionMKSM's was better......*snickers* NOT! Hah, I got you there for a second didn't I.

Seriously tho, that was quite funny, 8/10. Well done too.

Your logic is seriously flawed.

First of all, in order for a gag to make proper sense, it needs to make sense. The first two were made for that. If I started out bluntly, like you reccomended, it would not make much sense.

Also, do you know idiotic combining perfectly played out strips is? I inserted the pause-panel because, think about it, it gives it a good dramatic pause, which makes it cheesy thus funny. Plus, people would naturally react to stuff like that, when it's been established that Scorpion and Sub aren't really enemies.

Also, the comic would feel rushed if all those panels were squeezed into one.

The first few panels are necessary to set up the entire comic. If I took those out, the comic would not be as good.

Also, I thought it was a good idea to bring up the vow gag. It was made to set up the gag succeeding it. It's a good inside joke, and it didn't hurt the comic.

Length can be a problem sometimes if it's too unnessecarily drawn out. This, imo, wasn't. Besides, most four-paneled strips suck, unless you're comic is Penny Arcade or Chugsworth Academy.

I think the problem with your logic is you want to make the most traditional, kid friendly stuff, that, in all honesty, nobody finds it funny. Because of that, you probably shouldn't read my types of comics.

True. But he vowed that to him in UMK3 if you read Scorpion's UMK3 ending. Plus: In MK:A you see Scorpion and Sub-Zero fighting in the intro movie. For all we know, this comic is canon cake!

Praise JESUS!

Maybe you're assuming too much.
Obviously you don't want to start with the punchline, yes, but you're lingering on a lot of exposition that adds nothing to the context it's all put in.

Like I pointed out with panel-by-panel breakdowns, you can achieve a lot of the same stuff in the same space. While also benefitting from the fact that you're not wasting time, or lingering excessively, which dampens any effect of a punchy finish.

It reads like a comedy strip trying to be serious... And taking too long doing it.



Eh... I just don't think it's a blatant enough scenario.
I guess maybe I'm being a little broad there. General fans aren't going to have the qualms with an MKII ending some of the MKO users are, and that's fair enough.

I think it's stronger skipping the pause, but I did debate whether or not that was a fair call. You could probably go either way, but I prefer it without.
I think it's just another cut that helps get in-and-out a lot punchier.



Not really. I'm talking about combining them in an editorial sense.
Trim unnecessary dialogue that's really just slowing the set-up and killing the gag, and aim more for punchier beats.



You're spending way too much time, and again... I'm kinda saying this ad nauseum, but there's just chunks there that aren't bringing anything important to the strip. It's just slowing it down unnecessarily.

'The brother of...' is a prime example.
If your target audience is already dedicated MK fans (re: the MKII pledge) then you don't need to spell that out. It's just clunky, unnecessary exposition, and not really at the crux of the point. The clan rivalry has a tighter logic, and gets the same result quicker, and cleaner.



I think it just dumbs it down too much.
The visual cue is there, and it's got the vow presumably quoted exactly. It really doesn't need more. It's just hitting it over the head, then.



Oh yeah? Well most strips suck if you're relying on photoshop blurs! Nyah-nyah!

There's a long tradition of four/five panel newspaper strips.
You seem to be pretty happy for ScorpionMKSM to learn to take criticism, so that's the advice I'd offer you.

I think you just need to step back from it, take a look at it from a less invested angle, and maybe some of my tips might make a bit more sense.
It's not hilarious, but the fundamentals are there for an amusing quick gag.
I just think you need to look at it from a distanced perspective, and really think about what each piece of the puzzle is doing, not only in it's individual context, but in relation to the parts moving around it.

There's a lot there that just isn't vital, and is lingering too much on the same notions, and not particularly neat in how it's doing it.



You're dumbing the gag down by over playing the same notes, so I would actually think it might be the other way around. You're assuming too little of the reader (or just writing clunky) by delivering unnecessary exposition, using cheap, pretty silly and juvenile language to fill the void, and generally flattening the MKII gag by over explaining the reference.

I think you're struggling to take constructive criticism, and there's an existing mentality here that is either to do with the young ages of a lot of your fellow posters, or just a status quo that exists, that has affirmed 8/10 on a lot of pretty average posts that AREN'T by someone like ScorpionMKSM.

If you want people to talk about pretty graphics, fair enough. That seems to be the case, and frankly, some of the problems here seem pretty typical of a visual 'artist' trying to be a writer, which sometimes never works out.
But I think it's pretty clear you're not paying any service to the logic I'm trying to discuss, and really doing exactly what you've criticized ScorpionMKSM for.

I'm sure there's plenty of high scores to come from other posters, but if it's about growth, I'm trying to offer a bit more than just ' FUNNY YO MOMMA~!!!

Alright, fine, I understand your points.

I believe we both have different standards for comics. You prefer more of the classic, 4-paneled funny fests; while I make comics that are like elaborate stories, with jokes inside and a big punch-line at the end.

All in all, I respect your right to criticize. I appreciate the fact that you gave me some helpful advice to fix my comic. You have made some good points. Also, i'll try to fix the dialogue so it's not so raunchy.

I could've sworn the first time I looked this was a more finite post, which is why I didn't bother to reply right then.

See, from what you're saying, I'm not sure you do understand what I'm getting at.
It's not really that it's an elaborate story with a hidden comedic gem inside. My issues with length are more just about what the time is being used on, and how that effects the justification of each subsequent component.

I'm really trying to talk about the nuts and bolts, which is probably something we don't gel on.

Not that I apply this logic to anything I'm doing, but I'm assuming with experience (and interest) comes an inclination to break it down piece by piece, and it's a lot easier to critique someone else's work like that than spend that kind of time on your own (particularly if it's just fluff).
If I were applying these rules to my strips, I know I'd cut today's, for example. (Hence my little rib challenging you to critique it. ;-p)

I like tossing back and forth on these things, and I like to look at these things justified within their own, and larger contexts. It's a good bit of conversation (which is all too rare, sometimes). I'd probably enjoy getting that on my stuff, and I gladly discuss.

I think you think I'm being more rigid in steering close to a particular pre-established tradition, or something along those lines. The language isn't really raunchy, it's just kinda juvenile, and used in the least interesting way possible.
Likewise, it's not about the number of panels, and that should be implied by my suggested edits and cuts, which I don't think came to four.

It's all about tightening up the overall fundamentals, and working in and around the pieces of the puzzle to strengthen the logic. Less about strict rules, more about working with what's there.

I think there's probably already an adversarial stigma here, particularly because I disapprove of the way you've dealt with someone like ScorpionMKSM. Fair enough.
I just don't think you could question the logic of what I'm talking about, particularly without going into any kind of detail yourself.

But take from it what you will, and clearly, for whatever reason, there's a whole audience here who like it. Groovy!

EDIT: And also, like I was saying. I thought yourself and Zentile were too hard on some (buddy-buddy with others) without any real kind of reasons. I think others are too baseless in their one sentence praises.

I'm taking The_Purple_Bunny's advice here, and hopefully falling as a voice somewhere in between.

nemisis, you are my idol...of inspiration! take a look at yourself. do you see the artist in you?! ooh, i'm so glad you showed scorpion up. i was getting so tired of his work i stopped viewing other people's stuff. thank you! 9/10 for the comic, tho. you've inspired me to start my own series.

Well, I didn't find it very humorous, but I still thought it looked awesome, so


4.5/5

I've been a little less harsh on my reviews lately, so yeah.

In any case, I appreciate this little on-going between us. I think you'll like my new comic series coming out today. It is a serious one, but the story is fast-paced.

Why did Smoke drop down with a tank? Most of the panels need to be cut and you forgot to add the funny. 1/5

I don't know how to rank it , how did that ice tank came out of nowhere , that felt so random , change it with something else . Im giving this around a 7 because it was dealing stuff from MK storyline . You lost 2 cause of the tank and 1 possibly because there wasn't much laughing humor .

I thought it was funny, although the tank with smoke showing up at the end was kinda random.
4/5

I'm getting these comments of how random the ending is. It's my fault that it is, I forgot to have told you guys that this is actually a satire.

The final is based on a popular gag from the popular Megaman comic called Super Adventure Quint. At the end of their recent comics, some guy in a "roller doller da" comes down and crushes the main character, and says "WRRRYYYYYYYYYYY."

That's where I got this from.
Visit their site here: www.quint.panelmonkey.org

Hell yeah!A JoJo Referrence! 9/10.And everyone says "The World" was random.