Smokes Vendetta
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Smokes Vendetta
11/20/2005 07:42 PM EST
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RE: Fan Submission: Smokes Vendetta
11/24/2005 04:07 AM EST
What a great read. But the plural for Centaur is, I believe Centaurs. Anyway, it was diffentley a cool read, especially since I'm a Smoke fan. My rating might be biased.
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RE: Fan Submission: Smokes Vendetta
11/24/2005 06:54 AM EST
Im not a fan of Smoke, like you have said, his story and potential have really been shadowed by other characters and he is very underdeveloped, however, I really enjoyed reading this fan fic, it was very good.

One of the best things about it is how you linked him so much with Kabal and Stryker. You did an excellent job giving the 3 characters the life they had been lacking in the games (though Kabal was hugely improved in MKD and was already great in MK3), definitely, the way you linked the three of them has to be the best thing of your fic.

I also enjoyed some parts that were a bit comical, but maybe that wasnt your intention. In almost all the parts that Sektor seems to talk to himself and tries to fight his programming he sounds funny (YOU INFERNAL MACHINE!).

I really enjoyed the part were he battled the centaurs and laughed, and then you wrote that quote that fits his character so well: “laughter is the language of the soul”. Awesome.

Now, as for the things I think you could improve: Even though your fic was well written, you tend to repeat some words too often. Try not to do this in the future, and look for synonymous for words you want to re use.

Other then that, its a great read, and I recommend it to all Smoke fans. Good job!

4/5
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RE: Fan Submission: Smokes Vendetta
11/24/2005 05:29 PM EST
Thanks for the input, Queve! I knew that Smoke's would be a long bio, and I'll know for the future to make sure not to repeat myself so many times (the majority of my other bios will be short, but believe me, there will be an extremely long one that'll follow soon).

SmokeNC, you are correct, the plural for Centaur is Centaurs, but Motaro and his race aren't Centaurs; in Sheeva's MK3-MKT bio/ending, it states that Motaro's a Centaurian, so I went with that.
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RE: Fan Submission: Smokes Vendetta
05/15/2006 08:05 PM EDT
really was a great read...i think that you did very well on that....A+wow
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RE: Fan Submission: Smokes Vendetta
05/15/2006 09:25 PM EDT
This is excellent. Great job! 5/5wow
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RE: Fan Submission: Smokes Vendetta
06/08/2007 03:51 PM EDT
Wow... That was so awesome! I like Kabal, Stryker and Smoke alot better now. I love Stryker now, as he will be my favorite character now. I love your story writing, even thow it was a bump, it's really really good. 5/5. Very good!
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RE: Fan Submission: Smokes Vendetta
05/31/2008 10:44 PM EDT
damn this is good. You should consider writing as a career.
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RE: Fan Submission: Smokes Vendetta
05/31/2008 10:50 PM EDT
invadera-26 Wrote:
damn this is good. You should consider writing as a career.


Although I will say that this submission is well though-of, I do know that you are not allowed to bump threads that hasn't had an active post within three months.
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RE: Fan Submission: Smokes Vendetta
05/31/2008 11:30 PM EDT
After reading this, I don't really care that someone bumped an old thread. This story is incredibly awesome. It's better than the stuff the MK team made up.

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RE: Fan Submission: Smokes Vendetta
05/31/2008 11:50 PM EDT
Icebaby Wrote:
invadera-26 Wrote:
damn this is good. You should consider writing as a career.


Although I will say that this submission is well though-of, I do know that you are not allowed to bump threads that hasn't had an active post within three months.


Oops, sorry.
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RE: Fan Submission: Smokes Vendetta
06/01/2008 12:02 AM EDT
invadera-26 Wrote:
Icebaby Wrote:
invadera-26 Wrote:
damn this is good. You should consider writing as a career.


Although I will say that this submission is well though-of, I do know that you are not allowed to bump threads that hasn't had an active post within three months.


Oops, sorry.


No need to apologize, you didn't know.

But I will say, not trying to suck up to a portal guard...

I will say that this is very good writting. I have looked at the other submissions that have to do with writing and all that, I too am a wrtier... but this is well thought of and just excellent. I have read your other pieces of work and they're as good as this one. I hope to expect to see more if you have the time and the chance.

Mind if I ask for a request? Could you make something with Frost if you do not mind?
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RE: Fan Submission: Smokes Vendetta
06/01/2008 02:17 PM EDT
There's a bit of confusion when it comes to bumping in this forum, so once and for all, I want to clarify that one is allowed to bump fan submissions in this forum, so there's no harm and no foul against invadera. However, the other bump-related rules still stand though, like bumping one's own threads not being allowed.
I don't take requests anymore, as it's become too complicated to incorporate characters that I had no plans for when I initially started the series, but I will eventually do a Frost biography. Right now I'm working on two other ones that I want to finish up first (considering I've been working on one of them for over a year, I really want to make sure I do it right and not rush it).
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RE: Fan Submission: Smokes Vendetta
08/07/2010 04:35 PM EDT
this really brought smoke out more this was a great read i like how u explained his look in deception really great read 4/5
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RE: Fan Submission: Smokes Vendetta
08/08/2010 04:04 PM EDT
I like how everything kind of ties together

also, 5 years ago, and it's still better then some of the stuff coming out now...

I miss when this forum was more active...such a shame.

57/5


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RE: Fan Submission: Smokes Vendetta
08/09/2010 12:19 AM EDT
Thats 11.4%
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RE: Fan Submission: Smokes Vendetta
08/09/2010 03:42 AM EDT
SEGAmaniac7 Wrote:
Thats 11.4%

no, it's 1,140%

you forgot to move the decimal


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RE: Fan Submission: Smokes Vendetta
08/09/2010 01:56 PM EDT
Ok thanks, forgot about that
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