Ok i'll work harder. Next part will be coming up tomorrow.

Sub-Zero and Smoke are easily two of my favorite video game characters of all time; having said that, I think they have unlimited potential for great stories and character development.

This is tiny and meaningless. I don't see much of a story going on; what's the point really? Hopefully your other parts will go deeper into what's really going on. These heroes need to be confronted with a situation that will make us, the readers, want to keep reading to see them overcome. Right now there's nothing to overcome.

Here is part 2, and yes I know its not tomorrow I wanted to start early.

Part 2- An Intruder!

Smoke was training when he heard a loud *smash* followed by a scream, so he went to investigate.

"Hello? If anyone is in here I will kill you." No reply. He went to Sub-Zero's temple to find him dead with a hooksword stuck into the back of his head.

"What the...hell? Who the hell did this?" Then somebody said, like he had a respirator going " I...did...this.....to your... friend.....the Black Dragon.....clan....wanted.......us...to...and....now....you....will...die....too....."

Smoke then began to fight the intruder. Smoke and the Intruder fought in close combat, but when it was over Smoke took one of the Intruder's hookswords and pried open his respirator from the front revealing a disfigured face, Smoke then gouged out one eye and the Intruder was left there to die. Smoke then looked at one of the inscriptions one the hookswords to find the name "KABAL' scrawled in cursive and the name "Movado" scrawled in angry handwriting with a big red X over Movados name.
"Hmm, that Kabal guy must know something. Smoke went over to Kabal, still with his eye gouged out. "What the fuck do you want?!"
"I want to know why you killed my friend you son of a bitch!"

"Its because he was on my hit list you see, that name Movado was on it too, and now your gonna be on it!" Kabal then grabbed his hooksword for Smoke's hand and plunged it deep into Smoke's stomach. "Arrrgggghhh!" Smoke said before collapsing in a pool of his own blood.
Kabal then took out a black marker and scrawled Sub-Zero on his hooksword and crossed it off with a red X in red marker. Kabal then dragged Smoke from the Lin Kuei temple and was bringing him to the Black Dragon headquarters.

End of part 2. Hope i did good...







P.S. The reason I put so much periods is that the respirator was going on when he was talking, and Kabal managed to survive without the respirator because it's for the plot. if its too much swearing I can edit it.

You just killed Smoke and Sub-Zero, I don't see how you can continue the story. Also, Kabal only had the respirator AFTER Earth was almost merged with Outworld, so at this point Smoke should already be a cyborg... Kabal only killed Mavado after Deadly Alliance, so the MK tournament was no longer on anybody's mind at this point... And Smoke was trapped in Outworld in one of Kahn's prison chambers, nowhere near Sub-Zero. Also, which Sub-Zero is this now? It can't be the first, since Scorpion killed him, and it can't be the second, because they were already working together during the second tournament. Your story has a lot of holes that need fixing.

The Smoke im writing about is just, well I cant really explain it, so will you close it? I suck, so close this...

We've only been giving you criticism, if you can't handle that, then why post this in the first place? We're trying to help you out not make you suck.

Considering the user has been banned for making at least one dozen clones, I don't think this is going to be updated, so I'm putting the thread out of its misery.