In a recent press release, other Mortal Kombat characters have expressed jealously over the wildly popular Scorpi-o's that are taking America by storm. Some of the other characters are getting on the corporate bandwagon, including:

Shao Kahn. Recently opened up his own gym: "Shao Kahn's Gym for Weak, Pathetic Mortals." If you promise not to sue the company for dismemberment or extreme bodily harm, you can join the gym for 1 soul/ month.

Mileena marketed her own breakfast cereal, "Mileen-o's!" The cereal comes with your recommended daily value of Vitamin B-eotch. *

*This cereal has not been approved by the FDA or any other regulatory commission. In rare instances, consumers have reported the following symptoms: 1) Extreme compulsion to murder one's siblings (more so than normal), 2) Excessive tooth growth 3) Progressively wearing fewer and fewer clothes 4) Dating ugly men.

Rain is marketing a new line of umbrellas. The products are being currently being tested in Colorado, where before this week people didn't know what umbrellas were, or what they were used for.

Sindel has created a new clothing line called Dead Queens. Their motto is: "Sexy, everyday wear for the active MILF."

Mokap has started a support group for "VIdeo Game Characters No One Understands."

-Your turn. Go!-