Man oh man. I periodically check back every four months or so to see if a new and awesome MK game might one day be made. You know the one I mean, the one that will restore MK to its lost glory. The one that will fill my need for blood, fatalities, ninjas, childhood nostalgia and memories of quarters spent.

Unfortunately this new MK game is like being tied to a toilet and used for the pleasure of ten large inmates. Look Ed Boon, I know you are really tired of doing "traditional" (by traditional I mean good) games, and have entered your artsy phase, and are looking to do something akin to modern art (by modern art, I mean bad art). Maybe you are wearing a French Barret, maybe your apartment is painted black, I don't know. But I want you to know that my life is now significantly worse upon seeing this game. I actually at first thought it might be some drug induced hallucination that I was having. A toxic fever dream perhaps. The sheer bullshitty absurdity of this idea made me think it was some practical joke by some jerk. You know the type, the jerks who post replies to youtube videos. But alas, this was no April fools joke, this apparently is real.

I will say one thing. I did feel a need to play classic and new MK characters, with full fatalities on the next gen systems. I did not however need to ever see Scorpion beating on Batman.

On the list of things to do in my life, Aquaman vs Raiden is not one of them. However, apparently it was one of your "things to do".

Now Eddy, I dont mind if you want to make a gay MK vs DC game for personal use, but releasing a steaming turd biscuit like this to the public is inhumane. I personally believe that you owe me something better.

What the hell were you thinking? Most DC Characters are beyond gay on their best day, let alone when their gayness is contrasted by the sheer awesomeness of past MK characters. The only DC character who is even the slightest bit not gay is batman, and thats simply because he is a maniac in a giant bat suit. The rest of them are broadway musical gay, RENT gay.

I think Ill skip this masterfully crafted steaming load, and wait and hope that one day you deliver a crazy, violent, original, dark, classic MK game to the people who made you rich. Ill allow you this one opium induced artsy crapfest, but if the next MK game does not induce severe psychological damage to me by its sheer darkness and gory fatalities I will personally hunt you down and literally bore you to death with my incessant criticisms of how you sold out and became a crazy namby pamby, bohemian pussy in a pink petticoat.

Now go play MKII over and over and over again, and maybe rent Hellraiser and play doom 3 (a video game with balls) for some ideas and flavour and you may find yourself in my good graces once again.

C.