My name is Bezo. It's Bezou here because you can't have four character names.

I've been a member here since...a long time ago and I've never formally introduced myself.

I'm extremely opinionated, extremely closeminded, extremely condescending, extremely irritable and extremely depressed.

I view none of these qualities as a good thing, but I have had tremendous difficulty in combating them.

I am a professional musician in that I have a day job and make hardly any money from music.

I'm autistic (PDD-NOS but high functioning) and because of this I communicate very poorly and people frequently misinterpret my intentions.

I'm also technically insane, which makes my intentions even harder to interpret. Among the myriad of personality disorders I have been formally diagnosed with are: borderline, obsessive-compulsive, avoidant and anti-social. I have been institutionalized on three occasions for being a danger to myself and others (mostly others).

I am addicted to feedback and everything I do is done with the aim of receiving feedback. Spirit Liu, Konquest of the Kamidogu, etc. I become extremely irritated when I am ignored. I am working on curbing this tendency.

I have several rage triggers which cause me to enter my most dangerous mental state. One of these is being edited or censored. In this mental state I am overtaken by the anti-social component of my psyche and do things which can have disastrous effects on my life and everything in it. On rare occasions I can control myself before I do something incredibly stupid (and it's always incredibly stupid things).

But enough about me.

I have a beautiful wife, Jaci, who I see on occasion when work permits.

I have a dog and two cats. The dog is a pomeranian/cairn terrier named Foxtrot. The cats are a grey Norwegian forest cat named Siren and an orange tabby domestic shorthair named Mr. Cheese.

I apologize for blogging it up a bit in this thread, but I wanted to set the record straight. I do not want special treatment. I do not expect mercy or sympathy if I break forum rules. I only wish to explain why I am the way I am.

And that I am making strides to making the way I am something better.

Here's a good rule of thumb. If something I say can be taken more than one way and one of the ways offends you, I meant the other one.

If something I say can only be taken one way and offends you, I'm very sorry.

It is never my intention to offend people.

When I think about it, I probably shouldn't post on internet forums at all. But I'm also extremely stubborn.

So I'll see you out there. And I hope we don't bump heads.