Pest Infestation
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posted04/29/2011 03:40 AM (UTC)by
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BradJRice
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06/20/2010 09:47 PM (UTC)
Most apartments have ants, rats or other pests. Mine has politicians. This is the second week in a row. I've called the landlords office to report the infestation in the building. She gets out the piece of paper and asks what type of pest/infestation the building had and I said "Politicians..they're all around the building and coming in somewhere, maybe an open window in someone's apartment or a hole in the wall." She replied that they're just doing their rounds for the day for the upcoming election here. I'm like "So they'll go away on their own? I don't need raid or traps or anything?" She (mad for some reason) answers "No." so I'm like "Alright..as long as they don't start nesting.."
Has anyone else had this type of problem? If so is there any household remedies for this problem? I know if you sprinkle salt around it keeps ants away, but it doesn't seem to work on politicians no matter how slimey they are. Any help is greatly appreciated
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Bezou
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04/28/2011 05:24 PM (UTC)
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I recommend leaving out a dish of pork. If they're democrats, they will be enthralled and feast upon it, allowing you to get an easy head shot. And if they're republican, it's even easier.

They will spend hours giving speeches about how wrong the pork is for the country and how, in a recession, conservative spending is the way to go, eventually dying of hunger.
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BradJRice
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04/28/2011 05:26 PM (UTC)
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Bezou Wrote:
I recommend leaving out a dish of pork. If they're democrats, they will be enthralled and feast upon it, allowing you to get an easy head shot. And if they're republican, it's even easier.

They will spend hours giving speeches about how wrong the pork is for the country and how, in a recession, conservative spending is the way to go, eventually dying of hunger.


haha..nice thanks! Despite it saying I'm in the USA, I'm actually in canada so I think you know the elections I'm talking about here..lol Seems to be anyway
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StatueofLiberty
04/28/2011 05:32 PM (UTC)
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I had an infestation of Ron Pauls once. I guess It wasn't too bad, but they wouldn't shut up about the Federal Reserve being "the downfall of the U.S."

"Gold Standard!" and "Laissez-faire!" they'd coo EVERY fucking morning at 6:00AM! It was sooooo annoying! So I called an exterminator, but he said he couldn't do anything about them because Libertarian Capitalists are apparently a protected species! Like, what the hell? So I was stuck with these goddamn things for at least a week before I found some dinky, home remedies website with the answer to my problem: If you place a few copies of The Jungle around their nesting area (AKA my fucking attic) they'll be forced to leave! Fucking crazy obvious right? I dunno why I didn't think about it before!
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BradJRice
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04/28/2011 05:52 PM (UTC)
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StatueofLiberty Wrote:
I had an infestation of Ron Pauls once. I guess It wasn't too bad, but they wouldn't shut up about the Federal Reserve being "the downfall of the U.S."

"Gold Standard!" and "Laissez-faire!" they'd coo EVERY fucking morning at 6:00AM! It was sooooo annoying! So I called an exterminator, but he said he couldn't do anything about them because Libertarian Capitalists are apparently a protected species! Like, what the hell? So I was stuck with these goddamn things for at least a week before I found some dinky, home remedies website with the answer to my problem: If you place a few copies of The Jungle around their nesting area (AKA my fucking attic) they'll be forced to leave! Fucking crazy obvious right? I dunno why I didn't think about it before!

ROFL....thanks
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Bezou
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04/28/2011 07:04 PM (UTC)
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Ok, if they're Conservative, tell them you're gay. That makes them go away.

If they're Liberal, tell them you're poor.

If they're NDP, tell them you have an education.

If they're Green, tell them you only vote for parties that have a chance.

If they're some other party, tell them to join one of the big ones.
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StormChaser
04/29/2011 03:40 AM (UTC)
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Be careful. Once these pests start breeding, there is no stopping them, and they reproduce 50x faster than normal humans. They'll still leave 6 messages on your phone a week. They'll bombard you with annoying, half-true television ads that take the place of actual, possibly decent commercials. They will try their hardest to lay their eggs in your brain.

Oh, you can use the anti-pest sprays but that won't stop them. They'll hide in unexpected, dark places. The only way to get rid of such an infestation is to vote for it, or move to Antartica, where such cold-blooded creatures cannot thrive.
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