I personally believe the concept of marriage in itself is stupid, so whatever...

I'm guessing your secret crush is a whore and that drove you to type this up.

ROTFL@YOU Wrote: I'm guessing your secret crush is a whore and that drove you to type this up.

actually no, but that does make sense

Depends...can you see yourself with this person in 10 years? 20 years? then yes

Can you see you two going seperate in 2 weeks? then no

Kintaro6980 Wrote: i got the idea after my post in the cheating thread. I think pre marital sex isnt necessarily wrong but if you do have sex before marriage you are cheating yourself and your future spouse. Your Virginity is something that is supposed to be a gift from both newlyweds to eachother on their wedding night. If you have sex before marriage, then the person who deserves the gift doesnt get it and the wrong person recieves it. Plus waiting until the honey moon will make the new couple closer to eachother and the feeling of waiting for the right person. Pre marital sex can cause tremendous guilt for particpants down the road. As far as other reasons i believe this, STD's, there is a very low chance of STD's if two people only have sex with eachother, if two people have sex with eachother and they each have had sex with someone else. Unwanted pregnancy and abortion wouldnt be much of a problem.

I'd actually like to answer your post seriously now, first i'd like to say that you're looking at sex as more of a phsyical thing when it comes to mariage. The "gift" is suppose to be love, not meaningless sex. So who cares who she/he did it with before. As long as you two are in the point in your lives where you're ready to share a DEEP EMOTIONAL connection all that other stuff shouldn't matter. Quite frankly, most people that lose their virginity aren't IN love like they thought they were. They know in their mind taht their husband or wife was the one they should've lost it to, but we live and we learn. I wouldn't trade any life experiences like that, plus it's kinda like practice before the big ball game..lol

I think if one chooses not to practice pre-marital sex their life could possible be easier down the road, and they may share a closer connection. I think pre-marital sex is not necessarly bad, but I think also sex as whole has lost some of it's sanctity, in part due to americas tendency to either exploit or condem it.

I'd never buy a car without test driving it first.

Kintaro6980 Wrote: i got the idea after my post in the cheating thread. I think pre marital sex isnt necessarily wrong but if you do have sex before marriage you are cheating yourself and your future spouse. Your Virginity is something that is supposed to be a gift from both newlyweds to eachother on their wedding night. If you have sex before marriage, then the person who deserves the gift doesnt get it and the wrong person recieves it. Plus waiting until the honey moon will make the new couple closer to eachother and the feeling of waiting for the right person. Pre marital sex can cause tremendous guilt for particpants down the road.

The problem I have with that viewpoint is the fact that you only have one virginity to give. I suppose you'll say something like "That's what makes it so special." But consider the fact that nearly (or is it more than?) half of all marriages end in divorce. If a man and woman get married, only to discover that they can't stand each other, and so get a divorce, they've lost their virginity already. But does that mean neither should remarry when they find someone they DO love?

The point is, virginity is easy to waste on the wrong person. But when you put too much value on it, it makes it that waste that much more painful.

I find STDs and unwanted pregnancies to be a much more valid reason for abstinence than any moral values. While I think it's actually probably a better idea to "test the waters," so to speak, before marrying someone you may not really love (and may just be terrible in bed), it's best to do so safely. Use protection, and choose your partner carefully.

I dont agree with Pre marital sex and also its against my beliefs but still i do it, so i guess that makes me a hypocrite in ways, but we all have a littlw hypocrite in all our beliefs...

Eh, everyone loses their virginity to their hands, so I dont see what the big deal on premarital sex is anyways.

I am pro pre-marital sex. And pro-marital sex. And pro post-marital sex. Just not extra-marital sex.

Just be smart about it.

I'm never getting divorced. The courts will have to physically beat me to sign divorce papers if my future wife wants a divorce. Simply won't happen. So, in that retrospect, I'm saving myself for the one and only girl who will be my wife, and I'll stay a virgin till my wedding night. Do you know how freakin' hard that is? Hormones be damned. I've spent a nice life (made it through high school) without sex, and, quite frankly, I could spent my life without sex (it would really, really suck... wait... actually, there wouldn't be any sucking at all. It would blow. Wait... bite... oh, crap!... whatever). Still, I DO think it's special, since the only one I ever want to see or imagine naked is my wife. Noble, yeah, and boring, but such is my life, and I like it, damn it! My wife deserves the best (because I certainly have a lot in my life to make up for.) There's other reasons, too. STDs. Unplanned pregnancies. Nothing is 100% fool-proof, and I don't want to be a burden to anyone. I hardly condemn people who have had pre-marital sex. That's their choice and none of my business. As for me, I'm waiting for my wife and I know she's waiting for me. Fatality.

Yaskood.

Abstinence because of STDs *may* be a reason, but contraconception had advanced well enough to protect both partners (regardless of fundamentalist propaganda).

Waiting untim marriage is potentially a very, very big mistake. What if you find you and your partner aren't sexually compatible at all? What if you find your partner likes handcuffs and you don't? What if you like oral sex and she doesn't? What if you are frigid and she is sex-crazed. I think the role of sex within a relationship is grossly underestimated here. You may both end up completely frustrated, and I guess no one wants to conjecture what lies further down that road...

Like Bezou said, just be smart, that's all.

Cheers,
VQ

Given the possible impending constitutional amendment, I might NEVER get married, so I think it's a friggin' wonderful idea.

I'd actually be pissed if my wife was a virgin. She'd be terrible in bed. Ever been with a girl that's only been with like 2 guys? Ever been with a girl that's been with 10+? Big difference!!!

Waiting til marriage? First please take a quick moment to thisthingisdisableduate the world or at least American percenption adn realiziation of marriage and it's current state as an institution. We have politician in the US barking against Gay Marriage because it will destroy the fabric of family. Because the straight people haven't done this already? IMO marriage no longer has a place in our society. It's good for some but not working for over half of the people that try it. Even you churchy peeps can't keep it together. There was a study performed back in the 90's (back when I went to church and cared about stuff like this) that people that stated in the survey that they were regular attendee's of a chruch of anykind had the highest divorce rate. So IMO chruch and their values aren't working. A Pastors son was caught in the sanctuary of my old chruch having sex. Back to my point. We are a new society and an evolved people that are no longer looking for the one person. I don't like it this way but it's who we've become. Everything fast (well not EVERYTHING) and everything now. The straight folks are spreading their DNA like wildfire with multiple babie's momma's and daddie's (which can I say is not cute) and the gays are the new form of population control.

Love the one your with.

malignantvermin Wrote: I'd actually be pissed if my wife was a virgin. She'd be terrible in bed. Ever been with a girl that's only been with like 2 guys? Ever been with a girl that's been with 10+? Big difference!!!

I beg to differ. My current girlfriend was a virgin when we started out, and she is far better in bed than any of my previous girlfriends.

VQ

I agree.

VainQueur Wrote: I beg to differ. My current girlfriend was a virgin when we started out, and she is far better in bed than any of my previous girlfriends. VQ

Virginity, gift for the female species, curse for the male species. IMO.

I'm all for it...The more sex the better.

malignantvermin Wrote: I'd actually be pissed if my wife was a virgin. She'd be terrible in bed. Ever been with a girl that's only been with like 2 guys? Ever been with a girl that's been with 10+? Big difference!!!

Sick.

chan_ming Wrote: malignantvermin Wrote: I'd actually be pissed if my wife was a virgin. She'd be terrible in bed. Ever been with a girl that's only been with like 2 guys? Ever been with a girl that's been with 10+? Big difference!!! Sick.

But if it was a guy that was with 10+ girls it's no problem in our backwards ass society.

I think sex is part of everyone's lives... if u love a person why not? Even if ur not married... If ur not cheatng on your spouse, I don't see why not... I really could care less for my girlfriend's sexual history (All I need to kno is no STD's)