So a baby seal walks into a club...

Die, or else you will die.

Huh. I've only heard the first and fourth joke you told...

A very, very middle school joke:
Are you gay? No. Does your mom know you're gay?
(So stupid and childish, I have to laugh)

What was the name of the blind Mexican man? José Canyusí!!
(I know there's some alternate version about a baseball game, but I've only heard this one)

How did Stevie Wonder meet his wife? He went on a blind date!

A semi-dirty joke: He's a cunning linguist.

That's all I got for now....I feel really dumb for having shared those horrendous jokes.

A dyslyexic girl walks into a bra.

Thats what she said

Your mom

Two muffins are in the oven.
First muffin: Hot enough in here for ya?
Second muffin: Oh my God, a talking muffin!

***
A string walks into a bar. The bartender tells him, "We don't serve strings here." Disappointed, the string retreats to the parking lot where he ties himself up, and walks back into the bar. "Hey!" says the bartender, "Aren't you that string that was just here?"
"No," says the string, "I'm a frayed knot."

***
There are three types of people in the world. Those who can count, and those who can't.

A woman walks into a bar, I forget the rest of it but your mothers a whore.










I admit, I lol'd a little.

"Ooooohhhh, east? I thought you said weast."

- knock knock
- who's there?
- interrupting cow
- interrupting c-
- MOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Pretty much everything on Family Guy.

Sometimes.

Pretty much everything by Seth MacFarlane, actually.

A man walked in to a bar after a long day at work. As he began to drink his beer, he heard a voice say seductively "You've got great hair!" The man looked around but couldn't see where the voice was coming from, so he went back to his beer.

A minute later, he heard the same soft voice say "You're a handsome man!" The man looked around, but still couldn't see where the voice was coming from.

When he went back to his beer, the voice said again "What a stud you are!" The man was so baffled by this that he asked the bartender what was going on.

The bartender said "Oh, it's the nuts, they're complimentary."

Lol

*Reads Icebaby's post*
*Rolls on floor laughing ass off for 20 minutes*
What Bezou said, anything by Macfarlane.

Amazing that I laughed my ass off at this.

Do you have any Italian in You?

No.

Would you like to?



Gets me every time.

An orchestra conductor goes to a chiropractor. The chiropractor asks him, "What's the problem?"
The orchestra conductor replies: "My aching Bach!"
***
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese.
****
What did the man say when he walked into a bar?
"Ouch!"
***
Did you hear about the panda bear who shot people in a deli?
Apparently, the panda bear eats shoots and leaves.

What's black, white and red and can't fit through a doorway?

A nun with a spear through her head.

What's green and red and goes 30 miles an hour?

A frog in a blender.

why did george w bush get a belly button ring?


because he already has a dick cheney ....................................................................................................................................... where do arabians park there camels? camelot

What's brown and sticky?



A stick.

how did helen keller burn herself?

by answering the iron

How can you tell if and Elephant was in your fridge?

There are footprints in the cheesecake.

*********

If jack was having trouble getting off the horse, would you help jack off the horse?

*********

Why can't an Elephant ride a bike?

It doesn't have thumbs to ring the bell.

What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper.......



















or a slaughtered zebra.