Once a upon a time a dragon named Scary made a $1000.00. He was a very famous trained Dragon. But he is always a sleepyhead. He always sang "I have to get to that potty". But he eats too much. One day he is going to explode.


hahahhaaaa

ur hed a splode

Whats the complete opposite of Christopher Reaves?











...Christopher Walken.

hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!! great jokes, guys. keep'em coming.

i fell asleep with my pants on.
i woke up with them off.
i deciced nothing happened because i didnt hurt anywhere.
then i got shot by some gay guy a few days ago claiming i was his lover. .

oh i am suppose to tell a joke



J/P

This guy is looking to buy a Motorcycle. He walks around the neighborhood when he comes across a guy selling a beautiful Harley on his Lawn. He asks the man "How much for this bike?" The man says "For you... $500". For that price the man was a fool NOT to take it. Before he took it home he asked the man who was selling it how he kept it in PERFECT condition all these years. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small can of Vaseline. "When I kept this bike outside, I rubbed Vaseline all over the chrome, so that when it rained, it was protected." The man, intrigued, said bye to the seller and headed home with the bike. That night just so happened to be Dinner at his Girlfriends Parents home. So they decided to Ride the bike over to the house. When they arrived he left the bike in the driveway and the two headed toward the front door. Before the door could open the girl turned to the man and said "Whatever you do! Do not say a word at the dinner table. Because if you do, its your turn to wash the dishes." The man understood and the door opened and the mother walked them into the dining room. Before he sat down, the man noticed a HUGE pile of dirty dishes in the sink, piled just about to the ceiling. It was nasty. So he sat down. And for the first 10 minutes that they were eating, NO one said a word. Not the father, the mother, the girlfriend, the boyfriend or the daughter. So The boyfriend decided this was the perfect chance to take advantage of situation. He reaches over and kisses his girlfriend in front of everyone. The mom and dad were both pissed but they didn't say anything. Then he started to grab at her chest. Still, the parents nor the daughter said a word. So he then throws her on the table and begins to have sex with her. After hes through he looks over to see his father is LIVID and his moms about to faint. Yet, no one says a word! He then throws the daughter on the table and has his viscious way with her. Then he throws the mother on the table afterwards. After he finishes the women off and goes back to his dish he hears thunder, "Oh shit!" he said to himself. He then realized the bike was outside and it was going to rain! He reached in to grab the can of Vaseline and pulled it out and that moment the dad stood up and threw his fork onto the table and said "Alright! I'll wash the fucking dishes!"

LOL!! that was so fucking funny sarcasm!!

good joke the_cold_kombatant, that was funny as hell!!!!! more! more! i want to hear more jokes from these talented people!!

A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the restroom. A few minutes later, a loud, bloodcurdling scream is heard. A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar. The bartender goes to investigate why the drunk is screaming.

"What's all the screaming about in there? You're scaring my customers!"

The Drunk replies,"I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes my nuts."
With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says, "You idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!"

you guy's are funny as hell!! hahahahaha!!!!

there are 3 vampires. the first vampire goes into a bar and says "i want a glass of warm blood, then the second vampire goes into the bar and says "i want a glass of cold blood. then, finally the third vampire goes into the bar and says "i just want a glass of water. the bartender looks at him suspiciously and gives him a glass of water. you know the bartender began, you friends were in here a minute ago and they ordered blood. why are you getting water? with a smile the vampire grabbed a used tampond from his pocket and said "dip tea".

This Newfie is drivig past a field of tall grass blowing in the wind ,and it reminds him of the ocean .So he pulls over and gets his canoe off the top of his car and starts paddling around the field.Awhile later this other Newfie is walking past the same field and sees the first Newfie paddling around in his canoe ,he is angered by this and shouts to the conoer "It's Newfies like you that give the rest of us a bad name.If I could swim,I'd go out there and kick your ass!"

Three guys walked into a bar...
And the fourth one ducked!

ThE_CoLD_KomBATANt Wrote: Whats the complete opposite of Christopher Reaves? ...Christopher Walken.

LOL! thats my fav so far...

Whats Green and smells Like Pork?










Kermits Finger



Why is santas sack so big?











because he comes/cums one time a year


I have a couple others but you guys would just get upset and not be mature about it

whats the difference between a blonde and a rooster?
















rooster says: "cock-a-doodle-do"
blonde says: "any-cock-will-do"

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag?
One is white, plastic, and harmful to children, and the other is for holding groceries.

-

A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver looked at the child and blurted out, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" Infuriated, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. The man sympathized and said, "Why, he shouldn't say things to insult passengers. He could be fired for that." "You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind!" "That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."

-

The below statement is true
The above statement is false

What do you call a hooker with a runny nose?



Full

Why dont witches wear underwear?

to get a better grip on their brooms


Alright dont get mad at this one. its only a joke so dont get pissed off.

Why arent their any black people in the flintstones?



They were still monkeys.

Bloodline666: Who would win in a fight? A bear or a cockfore?

Some random person: What the hell is a cockfore?

Bloodline666: How can you not know what a cock is for?

What did one fat girl say to the other fat girl.. who cares there fat...

-It may be funnier told in person, with thisthingisdisableds and shit, but just picture it...


A man gets on to a bus and sits next to a woman.

He leans into her and whispers "tickle your ass with a feather."

She says, I beg your pardon!

He replies: "Particularly nasty weather."

She gets up and sits somewhere else.

Another woman gets on and sits next to him at the next stop.

Once again he leans over and whispers "Tickle your ass with a feather."

And once again he replies to her shock by saying "Particularly nasty weather."

And she gets off the bus, as does the man who just happens to get off there too.

Now a drunk guy has been listening and he thinks WTF, so he goes and sits next to a woman, leans over and says,

Drunk: "Stick a feather in your ass!"

Woman: "WHAT DID YOU SAY!"

Drunk: "It's gonna rain."

"I can't sing in the shower without ejaculating."

hear it goes

one day this woman seas she has realy bad sex so she goes to the doctor and askes for help.

the docter gives her some pills and that night she put one in har husbands wine

so that night thay had realy great sex

then she thought "what if i put 2 pills in" so the next day she put 2 pills in his wine

that night thay had even better sex

so than she thought "what if i put the holl bottle"

so the next day she put the holl bottle of pills in her husbands drink.



that night the police got a call.
it was a little boy. thay asked him what was wrong and the boy replied " well my mom is dead, my sister is pregnant, my ass hole hurts, and my dad is running around the yard saying hear kitty, kitty, kitty.

Two fish were swimming around in their bowl,one bumps into the other then says-"Sorry,I got water in my eyes."

theres a hippie and a noun on the bus and the hippie says to the noun, would it be alright if i said u were hot?
Noun:Its alright.
Hippie: Could we have sex?
Noun:No we cant.
so then the noun gets off the bus and the bus driver says,
"u no shes at the church everyday at 5. say ur god and u she will want to have sex with u.
Hippie:Alright
so he goes to the church and says he god. she would have sex with him but only anal cause its against her beliefs to do it in the front.
Hippie: ha i fooled u im not god
Noun: ha i fooled u im the bus driver.

is that all the jokes that you guys could come up with, oh man! everyone was telling some good jokes!