This is a game, that is worse than Big Rigs Over the Road Racing, Superman 64, and E.T.

Desert Bus.

The objective of the game is to drive from Tucson, Arizona, to Nevada, Las Vegas.

You're just holding down a fucking button the entire time, in a bus, everytime you press the B button, the bus door opens and it makes a sound effect, which, is fun for a while, but gets really, really fucking boring after a minute. There's no passengers on the bus except for you, there's no scenery except for the occasional rocks and street signs, which is complete horseshit.

Also, the game takes 8 FUCKING HOURS IN REAL TIME TO BEAT. That's 8 hours of your life you'll never get back.

Do you wanna know what happens after 8 hours? You get 1 point. 1, measly, worthless, scum-eating point. Then you drive all the way back. WHICH IS ANOTHER 8 HOURS OF YOUR LIFE YOU'LL NEVER GET BACK. To get 3 points, you have to sacrifice 1 day of your life. I can't even sacrifice 20 minutes of my life to this game.

There's a rumor that after 5 hours, a bug splats on your window. That would be pretty fucking amusing after looking at the same shitty terrain for 5 hours.

The maximum point amount is 99 points. 99 points x 8 hours = 792 HOURS. THAT'S 33 DAYS STRAIGHT OF THIS GAME. MORE THAN A MONTH OF HOLDING DOWN A FUCKING BUTTON. By the way, notice how I said straight? Well, you can't pause the game. Pressing start only honks the bus horn. BULL. SHIT. That means you can't even have a lunch break, or a bathroom break from this game.

Now, you may be thinking "Oh, well just tape or clamp the button down." Well, they found a way around that. The bus drifts to the right the entire time, which gets it stuck in the sand, then a tow truck comes to bring you back all the way to where you started. That's all your progress wasted. If you played the game for 5 hours, and then got stuck in the sand, and the tow truck came to get you, that's a 5 hour tow back to the start.

Would you believe me if I said that the game was made like this on purpose? No? Well, it is. It's supposed to be like one of those simulator games. They could have called it "Wasting 33 Days of your Fucking Life on Driving Simulator 1995".

It's funny, because they perfectly simulated driving. In other words, it's as boring as taking a shit.

There's a group of people who livestream this game on Twitch. They managed to beat it. It's called "Desertbus.org." They play it for charity.

That's my review of Desert Bus.

I'll give it an IGN sort of rating.

Presentation - 0; Who the fuck wants to play 8 hours of holding down a fucking button?

Graphics - 0; Staring at the same thing for 33 days straight makes the thing you've been looking at look shitty.

Sound - 0; Makes my fucking ears bleed.

Gameplay - 0; The only gameplay I see is holding a button down.

Lasting Appeal - 0; There wasn't any appeal in the first place.

That gives the game a 0/10.