A re-imagining of Mortal Kombat - Part I
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posted05/29/2012 11:53 PM (UTC)by
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http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd161/Z-123/NounsSIG.pngI do not think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday.
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02/14/2012 07:53 PM (UTC)
Hello guys, this is my first fan submission, and is mostly a new take on the newest MK. I hope you guys enjoy. Also, I will update every so often and it will not be complete for some time, so come back at least a week after a read.
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Chapter 0 - Armageddon (prologue)
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A pyramid where, not to long ago, countless warriors had fought to get to the very top, where they would gain a power that would make them capable of enslaving the entire universe, is now the battleground of Shao Khan and the thunder god Raiden.

"Nothing you can do could stop me now." Shao Khan said.

"For your so-called "Elder Gods" are weak, not even willing to waste a single breath on what will be your last hope of humanity."

Shao Khan walked over to a weakened Raiden and grabbed him by the neck, tossing him to the other side of the pyramid. Raiden had fought long and hard but still, there was no chance - Shao Khan will rule everything eventually, governing every single thing that exists - total control.

Something sparked in Raiden's mind; he still had his amulet. With all his power and might, he managed to send a message, a single 'note', to his past self. Thinking this would solve the problem and change the outcome of Armageddon, he readied himself for death just as he seen the hammer coming down on him.

"Hahaha!" laughed Kahn in an evil voice.
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Chapter 1 - The Day Before the Tournament (Many years earlier)
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There was a tournament being held at Shang Tsung island, where all the toughest warriors came to fight for Earthrealm, and whether it will be under Shao Khan's control, or remain a force of good. Warriors from many different realms come from far away, and among them is Raiden, who is overseeing several participants: Liu Kang, Sonya Blade and oddball Johnny Cage, among others.

Somebody started to talk, and everyone in the crowd turned to listen.

"I am Shang Tsung and welcome to my island, where you have chosen to participate in a tournament: Mortal Kombat. The aren't really any rules for this tournament, although I do ask you to abide by a few 'rules' while here on my island.

He cleared his throat and started.

"First of all, there are no fights allowed outside of a match or you will be disqualified. Same if you go out of any tournament-sanctioned area.

"I heard that if you get disqualified, they execute you or something." Somebody in the crowd exclaimed.

"No way, that's ridiculous." Said Johnny Cage.

He noticed a girl in a military outfit next to him, so he tried to to talk to her.

"Are you into this roleplay stuff too? That can't be right, you're too darn sexy.

"Shutup." Sonya said blatantly.

"Calm down, doll. Can I at least get a na-

"The first fight for tomorrow will be Sub-Zero versus Scorpion." Shang Tsung's loud voice interrupted.

In the midst, Raiden took a look at his amulet and noticed a large crack through the center appeared. With the power emanating through it, he sensed something: He must win. What could this mean? This was a question that went through Raiden's head alot until he came to a conclusion: something bad happens in the near future, and someone must win the tournament to prevent this. Raiden calls Liu Kang to come outside for a minute.

"What is it, lord Raiden?" said Liu Kang.

"I had a vision."

"A vision?"

"I can't fully understand it, but from what I can get out of it, someone needs to win this tournament to prevent some global catastrophe."

"And you think it's me?"

"Not sure."

Meanwhile, someone is eavesdropping on the conversation.

"So what do you think we should do?" Said Kang.

"For now, keep it a secret. We cannot let this inf-" Raiden paused.

Raiden had another vision, but just an image this time... of Shao Khan on a pyramid wielding an unbelievable power!

"Shao Khan!"

"Who?" Inquired Liu Kang.

The eavesdroppers whispers to himself.

"Hmmm?"

"The emperor of Outworld, he is evil. He must be the one to cause this apparent catastrophe! In my vision, he had an energy surging through him. He mus-

Behind Kang and Raiden, something scurried away. They both were shocked that someone overheard them, so Liu Kang went after him.

A few seconds later, Liu Kang came down from above the eavesdropper and stuck his leg out at his knee, snapping it like a twig. The eavesdropper, who looks much like a reptile and is named such, let out a short yelp before Liu Kang grab a hold of the creature and pushed him against the closest wall and said:

"What did you hear!?"

Now all of the crowd was looking at them as Shang Tsung pulled Liu Kang from Reptile, pushing them both to the floor. Liu Kang tried to get up, but Shang Tsung was a lot stronger than he looked. Raiden appeared and electricity sparked from his fingers, gradually growing to all over his hands.

"No need for that, just calm down. Your student disobeyed the rules, which I stated very clearly, and so he should get the consequences."

The electricity lessened and Raiden felt that it was right.

"What!?" Liu Kang yelled.

"You should have listened to him, for this is his island. Now go."

This was just a ploy so he could get Liu Kang to explore the innards of Shang Tsung's island. He told him this telepathically.

"Ok."

After a moment and Liu Kang got up, he noticed the reptile guy was gone, and was worried what he would do with the information.

Chapter 2 - Khan knows

In a nice and fancy, yet evil throne room, the reptilian creature from before stumbled in and catches everyone's attention, icluding the great Shao Khan.
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redman
05/28/2012 05:56 PM (UTC)
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Well, it was okay. It's pretty much the same as the beginning of the story mode. I would actually like to see you write a lot more, make the chapters a lot longer and it could be very interesting.

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Nouns
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About Me
http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd161/Z-123/NounsSIG.pngI do not think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday.
05/28/2012 07:16 PM (UTC)
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im not finished with the first chapter, and i will still be adding some between like i just did with Shang stating the rules and stuff. So if it doesnt make since now just stay tuned.
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MortalMushroom
05/29/2012 11:53 PM (UTC)
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It's a good start, but I think it seems more like an outline than a full story. And it works good as an outline, but I think a full story should have some more details. You may also want to revise your dialogue; make the characters say the same basic things, but make them use stronger words. For example, instad of Shang Tsung saying "there aren't really any rules for the tournament..." he could say "During the tournament you may use whatever skills you have at your disposal." It seems more in character. Saying there aren't really any rules for the tournament seems like something Johnny Cage would say when describing the tournament. Revising stuff like that would make it much better in my opinion. I don't mean to offend or anything, I'm just being critical.
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