EDIT:Use better grammar.

Senseless, pointless, directionless, grammarless... There's really nothing even remotely interesting or original about this story. It's just...''basically this one guy (who's me) is awesome, kills everybody, does everything, and wins Mortal Kombat''. Great. That's really fantastic.

What is a BigEholic? More like there was a person who was an alcoholic. That makes more sense.

BigEholics is his great uncle name and his mother named him Edsiran but he been reading his old great uncle book, and Edsiran decided to become the new BigEholics. His uncle name is Boz Elics, he called himself "BigEholics".

gee...I hope your 1st grade teacher gave you a failing grade on this....
this looks terrible!Your grammer is nausiating!As Zen said,its basicly,"There was a guy who made group of people who hurt people.Then,the guy beats up all the bad guys and then becomes a boss!"

I never learn anything from my school since about 19 year ago...All i learn is Sign Lan., and i am hard of hearing(HoH)...

....What?

For some reason I don't believe your story. I also find it hard to believe that you are 24 as well.

My,my...What a terrible piece...

DAMNIT! You stole what I was going to say.

But honestly, poor grammar brings the entire thing down. This is the saddest thing to come to a fanfiction since Sharpeye tried making another In the Eyes of Scorpian (That's how he spelled Scorpion!!!) and thought it was better.

The whole story is lame, and because poor grammar is the key issue, I have to give you only 1 out of 5 dps because it's at least something... I mean you tried, but somehow failed to create a good fiction story.

Try again!

CHEERS!

I made the several corrections that were needed and there was still no hope for this short fan fiction.Here are questions and things I found odd.
1.What is the Element Earthrealm and who created it?
2.How is it possible that no one has ever heard about him if he took over the world for the 3rd time?...
3.How did he die?When did he first die?
4.Who ressurected him and how did he stay alive for 10000 years if he died several times?
5.There is no way he could join all those clans.The Red Dragon Clan and The Black Dragon Clan are rivals.He would be killed by one or the other.
6.How did he create a New 'Gold' Dragon Clan is their was no old one to begin with.
7.What did they use to recruit more people...fliers,advertisements,what?
8.Why did they only want Sub-Zero's amulet (it's a medallion)?
9.How did he kill The Red Dragon and Black Dragon if he was in those clans...apparently at the same time.
10.Why would he kill the Red and Black Dragon's targets.What was the point and purpose of that?

The whole thing didn't make sense.Give your character a real name.Give him a purpose.Make this longer with a better explanation and answers to all of my questions.Use better grammar and common sense.

1.What is the Element Earthrealm and who created it? Edsiran Uncle
2.How is it possible that no one has ever heard about him if he took over the world for the 3rd time?... He was Edsiran Uncle(Boz Elics).

3.How did he die?When did he first die? Cast a Spell of Resurrect
4.Who ressurected him and how did he stay alive for 10000 years if he died several times? Reborn everytime when his son arise
5.There is no way he could join all those clans.The Red Dragon Clan and The Black Dragon Clan are rivals.He would be killed by one or the other. He may kill them or join them both as Spy.
6.How did he create a New 'Gold' Dragon Clan is their was no old one to begin with. Golden Dragon is reunited when BDC, RGC is dead.
7.What did they use to recruit more people...fliers,advertisements,what? He hire some people to join or DIES!
8.Why did they only want Sub-Zero's amulet (it's a medallion)? To keep them more stronger than ever.9.How did he kill The Red Dragon and Black Dragon if he was in those clans...apparently at the same time. He have all of his army kill or asked to join.
10.Why would he kill the Red and Black Dragon's targets.What was the point and purpose of that? To be more Murdering people.

That all.

Edit: Where can i find a Grammar Web or what good?

Is this a joke?

Even with you clearing up some things, I still don't get it. Your story makes no sense whatsoever.

CHEERS for MUFFINS!

Besides the cancer inducing grammar, you still don't make any sense, and it really feels like you're making shit up as you go along.

Ah, F*** it close this thread!

Jesus Christ, what's wrong with you people? Instead of being a cry baby, why don't you actually read what we're typing, pay attention, and stop making up excuses? Fuck it, close this thread? Why?

Because I'm guessing that the 24 year old doesn't understand how to exactly write a Fan Fiction and somehow amuses us with his/her poor grammer and abilitiy to ignore help like half of the other fan fiction creators on this site.

Please aanswer the question on why you want the thread close? Because we're right?

CHEERS for BEING SMART!

Maybe it's because people dont know how to critique

Frosted butts.

Sorry, I am not good with Grammer since i never had those class!

I argee with UltimateRyu...

Sub-Frost055, I want to close this since i am not good at grammer like other ppl SAID. I don't know what you mean by "Because we're right?".
I may have to say YES, you all might be RIGHT.

End of this Thread, CLOSED!

To clear things up.. I meant to say, "Becuase we're right." Not to put a question mark at the end of my sentence.

CHEERS for GETTING IN BEFORE THE CLOSE!

Caps are cruise-control for cool.

this


saying "your grammar sucks a dick faggot" isn't going to help him improve