After being taken off-course by Tooth Face and Little Red Riding Hoe, Scorpion set his sights back on finding the museum. He still had no idea where he was, but he decided it would be in his best interests to avoid everyone instead of asking more people for directions.
The sky was still dark, and the streets were still lifeless. But Scorpion would have to pick up his pace, because it would be tough to operate under the hustle & bustle of the city during the daytime. The calm and quiet circumstances of the night are exactly what a thief would want when trying to execute a high-risk robbery. Although Scorpion would have to relocate the museum if he would want another shot at the robbery itself.
"Where the hell is this thing?" Scorpion asked himself as he was getting angry again.
He drove around the city, turning onto any street he could in order to cover as much land as possible. But he wasn't having much success. He saw no museum, not even a sign to indicate its location.
Scorpion was fed up with the driving, so a thought popped into his head. The van he was driving in was quite loaded with junk. If he could search the contents of the van, maybe he could find a map of the city. "What a great idea!" Scorpion said in excitement.
He parked the van on the side of the street, right next to a dark and dangerous-looking alley. He grabbed his random flashlight began raiding the van for a map, or anything else that could assist him in locating the museum. He looked for about five minutes with no luck, until something rammed into the side of the van.
"AH! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?" Scorpion shouted like a crazy person.
Before he could find out what was going on, the dark figure of a man slapped up against the driver-side window.
"AHH! FUCKBALLS!" Scorpion shouted again, startled once more.
There were no working street lights in the area, so Scorpion could not see the figure in its entirety. He took his flashlight, shining it into the man's face.
The man was wearing a goofy green hat, and had the mustache of a serial rapist. The man was none other than Hsu Hao, the local pedophile.
"Get out of my van!" Hsu Hao ordered.
"Your van?" Scorpion questioned, "It's not your van any more, it's mine!"
"Oh yeah? We'll see about that!" Hsu Hao said as he opened the door in a violent fashion and ripped Scorpion from the van.
Scorpion clocked Hsu Hao in the head with his flashlight in retaliation. Hsu Hao stepped back in brief pain before Scorpion came with a kick to the chest. The kick knocked Hsu Hao to the ground, giving Scorpion the upper-hand. He stepped over Hsu Hao began kicking him in the face. But Hsu Hao would not be toyed with so easily. He grabbed Scorpion's foot and swung him sideways, sending him flying to the pavement.
Hsu Hao got up and ran over to Scorpion. Before Scorpion had the time to get back up, Hsu Hao gave him some kicks of his own. He kicked him repeatedly in the chest like a mad man, overcome with insanity.
Hsu Hao was beginning to win the fight. If this took place in a game, Scorpion's life bar would be more than halfway gone. But Scorpion is the hero of this story, and would not be defeated so easily.
Scorpion grabbed Hsu Hao's foot just like Hsu Hao did his seconds earlier. He swung Hsu Hao off of him and turned the tables in his favor. Hsu Hao regained his balance and took his stance, but Scorpion was fueled by enough RAGE to take down a gang of Hsu Haos. Scorpion ran towards Hsu Hao and threw his fist straight into his jaw, knocking him backwards. He followed up with another punch to the face, and another and another. By this time, Hsu Hao's health bar would be nearly depleted, and Scorpion was near a victory. He swung his knee into Hsu Hao's stomach with the power of a bull, knocking Hsu Hao unconscious for a brief moment. Scorpion took a step back and waited for Hsu Hao to rise so he could put the finishing blow on him, wanting to prevent a Round 2.
Hsu Hao came to and slowly got back to his feet. His legs were wobbly and he was off-balanced. This was Scorpion's opportunity to strike. And he took full advantage of it.
Scorpion took out his sword and dashed to Hsu Hao. He raised the sword up and brought it back down before Hsu Hao had a chance to defend himself. The sword sliced straight through Hsu Hao's stupid hat and downward, cutting him in half. Scorpion stepped back to see the damage he had done.
The two halves of Hsu Hao flopped to the ground, one to the left, and one to the right. Hsu Hao's pedophile blood spewed out like a sprinkler, painting the scene red. Luckily for Scorpion, he was just out of the sprinkler's reach. Hsu Hao probably had many STDs, and Scorpion wanted none of that.
Scorpion placed his sword back in its sheath. He was glad that this sudden ordeal was over, but it actually took away some of Scorpion's stress. Maybe killing someone again was enough to calm his nerves.
Scorpion walked back over to the van he had just earned. He got in and sat down for a moment to rest to regain his thoughts.
What was left of Scorpion's demented mind was aching and overwhelmed. His mission was not going smoothly, and he was growing more desperate each minute. He was starting to regret agreeing to the job, but he reminded himself that he would be neglected further by Quan Chi if he were to decline.
He decided that what he really needed was to relax for at least a few minutes. So he rolled the window down to breathe in the night air. The atmosphere was calm and soothing, and it made Scorpion fall asleep.
He began to dream weird things. In his dream, he soared through the sky on a dragon made of fire. An astronaut with a jetpack flew beside him in harmony. And seated with Scorpion was a whore with large breasts and soft, uncontaminated skin. He felt like an empowered employer, and was just about to brutally rape the whore. But then, a giant Quan Chi head burst through the clouds and yelled at Scorpion for being off-task. Scorpion tried to reconcile, but Quan Chi's large bald head shot a green ball of mess right at his face. It hit him on target and knocked him off his fiery dragon. As Scorpion fell downward to his imminent demise, Quan Chi laughed in victory.
Scorpion then heard a loud commotion coming from his side. It came from the awake world, and it woke him up instantly.
"FAUCK!" Scorpion shouted as he awoke. He saw a man standing beside him, leaning on the side of his van.
"HEY ASSHOLE, WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE BANGING ON MY SHIT LIKE THAT???" Scorpion raged.
"Easy there," the man said softly. "I didn't mean to cause such a stir, but I couldn't help but notice your fightin' skills after you killed that pedophile."
"Yeah, so what? What about it?"
"I just wanted to give you a simple offer, that's all," the man said with a strong accent.
"Oh yeah?....What is it?" Scorpion asked as he began to realize who he was talking to. The man was scraggly and hairy, and had a robotic eyeball. It was none other than Kano, the leader of the Black Dragon Thugster Crime Organization Clan Syndicate.
"I'm recruitin' members for my clan. I'm lookin' for the best and most ruthless of warriors to join me. You'd be perfect with that mean streak you got there," Kano said in a persuasive tone.
Scorpion shook his head. "No, my loyalty is to the Netherrealm, not a gang of low-down thugs! I have no reason to join you!"
"So be it, just remember that you had your chance." Kano said with a smirk.
"Now if you don't mind, I'll be going now! BYE!!!" Scorpion shouted once more as he stepped on the gas and drove off.
Kano looked on, shaking his head, the smirk still present on his face.
A thick mist clung to the cool, crisp, nipple-hardening air of the (almost) quiet city. Things were still relatively peaceful and calm, other than the sound of Scorpion's pedo-van rumbling at a somewhat speedy pace down the wrong side of the road.
Scorpion, still searching for the museum, was beginning to rush. What was supposed to be a simple task had evolved into a panic-filled mess. By the time this day was done, Scorpion would surely not be able to agree with Ice Cube when he says "Today was a good day".
Despite his over-exaggerated panic, time was still on Scorpion's side. It was still early in the morning, and he technically had all day to serve out his mission. But getting the job done was not the only thing on Scorp's radar. He wanted the mission to be accomplished, of course, but he also wanted to finish it fast and with success to prove to Quan Chi that he is indeed a useful slave/service man.
It seems Scorpion's pace is always disrupted at the wrong time. From cops, to Hsu Haos, to Kanos, he could not seem to avoid detours. The same applied to this next occurrence, as Scorpion's front tire suddenly popped, and his trusty rusty van began to swivel like a boss's office chair.
"BLAAAAAAARGH!" Scorpion said as he fired his lazor in reaction.
The van drifted down the road as Scorpion lost all control. Within a few seconds, the van was slammed up against the side of a building, broken and busted like Jarek's dad's condom.
"SON OF A DAMMIT!" Scorpion fumed in rage and disgust. By now, his anger was to the point where he would want to explode into a flame of madness.
He got out of the van by way of the passenger door, with the driver's side of the van crushed into the wall of the nearby building. He may not have survived the crash, had he been a regular mortal. He walked around to the flat tire to investigate the damage.
The tire was seemingly torn to shreds. This type of damage could not have been caused by a simple object in the road, this appeared to be some type of sabotage.
Then Scorpion found the culprit. A blade was lodged into the wreckage of the wheels. He pulled it out and began to examine it, like a pingas removed from a dirty prostitute. The blade was marked with an insignia that was familiar to Scorpion.
"This...this is from the Black Dragon!"
This realization came too late as Scorpion was then grabbed from behind and put into a strangle hold. The assailant was none other than Kano, who came to give Scorpion what he apparently deserved after refusing his offer.
Scorpion threw his elbows into Kano, trying to release himself from his grasp. But it was no use. Kano started clubbing Scorpion in the head with a brass-knuckled fist, chuckling wickedly the entire time. After just a minute or so, the undead servant lost consciousness and fell to the ground.
- - - - - -
Scorpion slowly came out of his slumber to find himself in a dumpster outside of a poor Asian restaurant. He was submerged in trash and it took him a brief struggle to climb out of it. He was in pain all around, specifically in his head, and he was quite sluggish and groggy.
It took him a few minutes to remember what happened. But when it hit it, he became enraged, yet again.
"THAT FUCKING LOW LIFE THUG! HOW DARE HE ATTACK ME FROM BEHIND! I DON'T LIKE IT FROM BEHIND! HE HAS NO HONOR!"
But what was more important was the fact that a great amount of time had slipped through his grasp. What was originally an early-morning fog was now an evening sunset.
Scorpion knew that time was no longer on his side. He had to see what time it was before he could plan his next action. So he ran into the restaurant to find out.
The doors flung open as Scorpion marched in. Covered in slimy garbage, he caught the attention of all the patrons within the place. Although he would've caught some weird looks simply for being an undead ninja.
"I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS!" Scorpion pressed among the people. An awkward silence followed as everyone stared back, eyes wide like a loose vajannuh.
"I SAID, I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT TIME IS!!!" Scorpion reiterated.
"Sir, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave," said a waitress in an unsteady voice.
"YOU GET THE FUCK BACK, BITCH!" Scorpion slapped the waitress out of the way.
"AHA!" he then saw a clock on the wall. It read 5:52 PM. "Dammit!" he said in a calmer, yet still irritated voice.
Although he had little time to soak in this information. A patron of the restaurant was walking over to him in an intimidating manner. It was Bo' Rai Cho, the fat slob of Outworld that taught a few Asians how to fight.
"You have no right to hit a woman like that!" Bo' Rai Cho told Scorpion, "For such an act, I must challenge you to MORTAL KOMBAT!"
"Aw, shit..." Scorpion was deflated. He was exhausted from his unexpected hibernation, and was in no mood for another battle. "Is there any way I can decline?" Scorpion asked, feeling wrong inside for asking such a thing.
This caught Bo' Rai Cho off guard. "Huh? Well...uh....I'm not sure about that...."
"C'mon buddy, I'm having a rough day. I don't need to engage in another pointless fight," Scorpion pleaded.
"Um....I suppose I can let you go...but I would have to turn you into the local authorities," said Bo'.
"AW HELL NAW!" Scorpion shouted as he bolted through the doors and ran down the street. Bo' Rai Cho gave chase, eager to turn Scorpion in.
"You come back here, ninja!" Bo' Rai Cho grabbed his staff and hurled it towards Scorpion.
The staff hit its target and knocked Scorpion down. Bo' Rai Cho got to Scorpion and took him by the neck. He picked him up and punched him in the side of the head. Scorpion shot back with an elbow to the gut. The blow was strong enough to give a shock to Bo's large belly and cause him to release Scorpion.
Scorpion ran over to the nearest vehicle and tried to open it. It was locked, and he was forced to break the window open. But Bo' Rai Cho was quick to get back on him and grabbed him from behind. He gave Scorpion a bear hug and began to squeeze the undead life out of him.
Luckily for Scorpion, a bystander came to his assistance. Dressed in yellow and black, it was none other than Tanya.
"Put him down!" She yelled as she threw her Kobu Jutsu into Bo Rai Cho's back.
"GAAAH!" Bo' said as he fell to the ground, letting Scorpion free.
Scorpion grabbed the weapon and pulled it out of Bo' Rai Cho's back. With a burst of anger, he let out a brief yell and drove the blade into Bo's head.
"Are you alright?" Tanya asked in a polite tone.
Scorpion was breathing heavily. "I suppose so..."
"I'm Tanya," she said with a smile.
"I am Scorpion."
"What was this all about?" She asked in reference to the fight.
"It's not of your concern," Scorpion said, trying to prevent a conversation.
".....I see.....well, would you a shower to get all of that trash off of you?"
Scorpion thought about it for a moment. He wanted to continue his quest, but he was in need of a shower and some relaxation. He decided to accept her offer. "....Yes, that would be nice."
Tanya brought Scorpion to her car. They drove away, leading Scorpion into the next phase of his journey.
- - - - - -
Stryker sat in the hospital for hours after his fight with Scorpion. Not only was his spirit diminished, so was his physical health. Stryker had a few gashes in his head, some fractures in his arms, and some cracked ribs, among other things. But being the prideful pig he is, he could not sit around all day while a dangerous criminal was on the loose.
So he got his things, put his gear on, and limped out of the hospital without permission. After all, he is Kurtis Stryker; he doesn't need permission from anyone other than himself. What he says goes in this town.
Once he made it to the parking lot, he found the armored sports car Jax left for him. Dark blue and tinted, it was the best-looking "police car" anyone could ever have. He got in, loaded his guns, and set out on a mission of his own.
Meanwhile at Tanya's apartment, Scorpion emerged from the bathroom and dried off after his shower. Tanya washed his outfit for him and even provided a sammich like any good woman should. When he was finished, he thanked Tanya, donned his attire, and prepared to return to his odyssey.
But Tanya was not done with him. She stopped him at the door and looked at him with her sweet, blank eyes and smiled a smile that symbolized a want for Scorpion's pingas.
"You can't leave just yet, big man..." Tanya said in an attempt to persuade Scorpion, "I've got something for you...hahahaha"
She wrapped herself around Scorpion and pushed him into her bed. She put on some slow sensual tunes on her radio and turned all the lights -except for her yellow lamp- off.
Scorpion was feeling hotter than a specter from Hell should. He felt an unusual attraction to Tanya. Maybe it was the fact that they were cold-blooded killers. Maybe it was the fact that they both wore yellow. But whatever it was, it went down to Scorpion's piness as Tanya began to remove his pantaloons.
She crawled over to Scorpion's face and took off his mask. But then she remembered that he had a skull for a head, and put it back on. She went back to his crizzotch and began to do something not suitable to explain to children.
When she was done, she escorted Scorpion to the front door and gave a brief exchange.
"If you need me again, you know where to find me," Tanya said smoothly.
Scorpion nodded, and exited the apartment. He walked downstairs and onto the sidewalk and began pacing down it. He had no vehicle, no other acquaintances, and his mind was melted after the unexpected moment he just had.
If there were no witnesses, he would easily just steal another car. But the evening was upon him, and people were scattered around the streets. He had no other choice but to walk around the city and hope to find the museum. He was also a dead ninja with demonic armor and lots of leather. So he figured he wouldn't get many responses if he asked where this museum was. His only hope was to search for it himself.
After just a few minutes of wandering, he had to use da potty. So he ran to a back alley and proceeded to relieve himself on the walls. Immediately, he encountered a problem. His willy was on fire, and not in a Netherrealm-type manner. It was quite painful, and he knew something was wrong.
Through close inspection, he noticed his banana was rough, itchy, and quite discolored. This was a sudden occurrence, so he automatically knew what the cause was.
"YOU FUCKING BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH!" Scorpion shouted in immense madness. "HOW DARE YOU INFECT ME, YOU DIRTY DISEASED CRABMOUTH! I SHOULD HAVE NEVER TRUSTED YOU!"
He zipped up and sprinted over to Tanya's place. He was just in time, as she was backing out of the driveway and into the street.
"STOP RIGHT THERE, YOU WHORE!" Scorp demanded.
Tanya knew what he was doing there, and floored the pedal. Her yellow convertible sped up and charged right at him.
"AAAAAH!" Scorpion said as his reflexed kicked in. He jumped onto the hood of the car with perfect timing and hopped into the passenger's seat. Tanya was caught off guard, and let out a shriek. Scorpion punched her in the face with the power of two Onagas and grabbed the steering wheel from her.
"YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID TO MEEEEEE!" Scorpion blarghed.
The two fought for possession of the steering wheel, turning the car in rapid fashion. Motorists honked their horns and drove out of their way to prevent an accident. Scorpion continued to punch Tanya in the face until he finally gained full control of the wheel. Once he straightened the car back out, he sped up and sent it on course for the wall of a nearby building.
"BYE, BEYATCH!" Scorpion laughed as he jumped from the car at the last second, sending Tanya and the car straight into a collision with the building.
She screamed and braced herself as the car crashed with a great impact. The glass from each window was shattered, and the car itself was compressed into almost half its original length. Tanya was smushed within the heap of junk, but was alive. Her chest was caught within the wreckage and she didn't even have the breath for a scream. She was fading away into death, but was pulled out by Scorpion.
He yelled, "I'M NOT DONE YET, YOU SLUT-ASS HOE!" and began slapping her up with both the back and front of his hand. "I'M YOUR PIMP NOW, YOU ROTTEN HOOKER!"
Tanya was clinging to life, mangled and broken like the car she crashed in. Scorpion stopped his slapping and dropped her to the pavement. He took some steps back and got in position for his famous finisher.
He removed his mask to reveal his flaming skull. He took one last look at Tanya and then blasted his toasty fire all over her. She slowly burned to a crisp, Scorpion laughing in triumph all the while.
Once he was done enjoying his victory, he looked around to see dozens of shocked pedestrians.
"Uh....um.....it's for a movie! Nothing but special effects!" Scorpion said before running off into the distance.
And although the law was once again alerted, he was actually more concerned with the attack he just pulled off. He thought that all of his powers were unusable while away from the Netherrealm. But somehow, he doused Tanya in toasty flame like it was no problem.
He found refuge in a nearby junkyard to hide for a while. He made sure no one was around, and tried to summon hellfire. Right before his eyes, flames shot up from the ground and lit up the air. This was quite shocking to Scorpion, but at the same time he was thrilled to have his powers back. But he wondered how his powers had returned. Then he remembered why they weren't there to begin with.
Quan Chi told him before he left that he would be without his flame abilities. Scorpion should have thought about it more, because Quan Chi was a troll and lies all the time.
Maybe he was just trying to prevent Scorpion from burning the city up and becoming a national target. Maybe he was just doing his usual trolling. Maybe he should just shut the hell up and stop lying. But whatever the case, Scorpion had his powers at his disposal now, and he couldn't wait to unleash it among the unsuspecting people of the town.
Meanwhile, Stryker was tipped off on a phone call by a fellow officer.
"Stryker, sir, someone's been running around...burning people up! I don't know if he has some type of....flamethrower rigged up by his face or what, but he's shootin' fire at people- we've already had one fatality- and it's scaring the whole city," The officer said, confused and doubting what the witnesses told him.
"Really? What did this guy look like, specifically?" Stryker asked. He didn't need any conformation on what happened, he just wanted to know who was involved.
"Well...uh....they say he wore a....a ninja suit...or somethin'....and he had a......a....skull for a head. I don't know, it might be some crazy Halloween costume hooked up to a flamethrower or whatever...I don't know...but just get here as fast as you can so we can sort this thing out," the officer said, becoming more confused and doubt-filled with every word.
"I'll be there," Stryker said as he hung up and smirked. Even if he was a ninja with a flamethrower for a head, Stryker was prepared for Scorpion. He'd been waiting all day to get him, and he finally had his chance.
Author : NS922
Creation date: 2011-10-18-20-47
Modification date: 2011-10-18-20-47
Part 2 of Scorpion's Illegal Adventure.