The Origin of a Ninja
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The Origin of a Ninja
06/27/2009 04:57 AM EST
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  • United States of America
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RE: Fan Submission: The Origin of a Ninja
07/01/2009 07:50 PM EST
interesting concept, most of the cyborg ninjas have never really had an in depth look into their history, so it seems a welcome change of pace, it's also an interesting idea that Sektor gave the Grandmaster the idea of automation. overall, it's wonderful, so:


5/5


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  • Philippines
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RE: Fan Submission: The Origin of a Ninja (Now with summary!)
08/22/2009 07:02 AM EST
not alot would read the whole thing so here's a summary:

Japanese robotics guy gets assassinated by Shirai Ryu and nearly all his works are destroyed. Son vows revenge. Son goes to China to become Lin Kuei. Quan Chi killed the Shirai Ryu in Mythologies so Guy needs to find a cause. He remebers that not everything was destroyed. He gives the Lin Kuei grandmaster the idea of automation and willingly becomes the first Cyborg
  • United States of America
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RE: Fan Submission: The Origin of a Ninja (Now with summary!)
08/23/2009 09:20 PM EST
you should stretch out your pacing more, add more details. overall, it's an intresting concept, I just feel it could be fleshed out alot better.

3/5

-GTB
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RE: Fan Submission: The Origin of a Ninja (Now with summary!)
08/23/2009 10:02 PM EST
Chimera Wrote:
not alot would read the whole thing so here's a summary:

Japanese robotics guy gets assassinated by Shirai Ryu and nearly all his works are destroyed. Son vows revenge. Son goes to China to become Lin Kuei. Quan Chi killed the Shirai Ryu in Mythologies so Guy needs to find a cause. He remebers that not everything was destroyed. He gives the Lin Kuei grandmaster the idea of automation and willingly becomes the first Cyborg


its actually not that long so i actually read it. unlike other writen submisions which are soooo long. not that i dont like to read just that i dont like reading really long things on the computer and would rather have it on paper.

so back on topic its really good nice story good imagination maybe if u could dig a little bit more deeper and go into details but overall its great. i actually might write me one of these. 3.9/5 good job man

  • United States of America
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RE: Fan Submission: The Origin of a Ninja (Now with summary!)
08/24/2009 01:18 PM EST
Chimera Wrote:
not alot would read the whole thing so here's a summary:

Japanese robotics guy gets assassinated by Shirai Ryu and nearly all his works are destroyed. Son vows revenge. Son goes to China to become Lin Kuei. Quan Chi killed the Shirai Ryu in Mythologies so Guy needs to find a cause. He remebers that not everything was destroyed. He gives the Lin Kuei grandmaster the idea of automation and willingly becomes the first Cyborg

I really don't know who would open up a written fan submission without expecting a long amount of writing, or not feel like going through it all...but i like the summary as well.


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RE: Fan Submission: The Origin of a Ninja (Now with summary!)
08/25/2009 08:22 AM EST
GrotesquetheBeast Wrote:
you should stretch out your pacing more, add more details. overall, it's an intresting concept, I just feel it could be fleshed out alot better.

3/5

-GTB

Got to agree with this one. The story seems to be more of an outline; it's missing a lot of meat and should be expanded.
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  • Australia
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RE: Fan Submission: The Origin of a Ninja
07/11/2011 07:02 PM EST
Love the concept!! smile
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