ZXVanX Fan Fic - Final Chapiter - The Evolution Complex
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posted07/12/2008 03:16 PM (UTC)by
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ZXVanX
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Want an MK fan fiction made with your favorite mortal kombat character? contact me and I will get to it!

New Fan fiction made! check it out! its called : Johnny Leads the cage !

Member Since
03/08/2008 02:06 AM (UTC)
Hi everybody, I know I din't create any fan fic in a long time, but this is due to me being busy, since I've got lotta time now, I'll give out some more awesome storys, and for those with requests, well just remind me about it wink



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Location :The Evolution Complex
Year : Unavailable
Date : ||||||/||||/|||||
Hour : 7:09 AM
Subject : Reptile Saurian
Form : Human (Ninja)
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Reptile : Argh.. what's an report data on me doing in sektor's laboratory.... Grrrrrrrrawrl!!!!.....

Sektor : Reptile! here you are again! I tought we finished you for good last time!

Reptile : Stupid Robot, You really think you'd be ever enought to defeat me ?

Sektor brings out his laser saber and points it towards reptile, Well? How about a little.. Check up ?

Reptile : Anytime you want!

Sektor : Onyl death awaits the overconfidents!

Reptile Spits on Sektor burning out the armor covering his left shoulder, Sektor cleans it with his hand and opens his chest to shoot a missile to reptile who dodged it with an aerial backflip and kicked it back to sektor without liberating the explosion.

Sektor : WHA-????


An giant explosion destroys everything in sight cause of the laboratory's explosion. The missile that reptile resversed destroyed of the main computer wich caused an explosion.


Of course, this event happened in outworld, causing Noob Saibot and Smoke to notice this explosion and decide to investigate.

Shao Khan : TROOPS! MOVE OUT!
Tanya : how interesting
Cyrax : Sektor's in trouble apparently ( insane laughing )
Kira : let's have some fun!


outworld's greatest warriors all saw the explosion and we're attracted by it.

on the verge of death, Reptile Speaks : Argh...S-S-Sektor... you.....Ugh...

Sektor was on the floor half destructed but still able to talk : Ha-ha-..h...a......Repyiotlsdgjrekl...gr....er...erg...erg....Repti---Troopz... coming to eleminate....enemy..you.....Her..Herhehherherhe.....(insane robot laughing)


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Chapiter Two
Liberation of a greater Threat, A Clone ? or a Clown!?

?????? : WHA???...

A weird creature simillar to reptile falls from a cracked cloneage capsule.

Ugh!! WHO AM I ? WHAT AM I ? WHAT'S GOING ON ? WHAT'S THIS PLACE ? WHO AM I ? WHOAAaaaAAAaAAA!


Cyrax : Defective.. Subject....must be disposed of, Lezard, You are not needed alive, it is time to dispose of you!

Lezard : LEZARD????!!! Is that my name ? Argh.. I can't remember anything! Just what's going on ?

Cyrax Sends out a web from his chest to capture Lezard but Lezard sees a gun from one of the soldiers who died in the explosion, he grabs it and shoots Cyrax while running to escape,

Lezard : GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!


*Pant,Pant,Pant*

Lezard : ARGH!...... This thing tried to kill me! I'm better get out of here!
Lezard runs troughout the laboratory ruins and finally gets out, at the exit, a very special *Person* was expecting him.


Shao Khan : Lezard! There you are!
Lezard : WHA ? You know who I am ?
Shao Khan *hehehe... Sektor's new project.. let's make him on our side*
Um yeah, we sent you on an spying mission a few days ago, but you we're captured and sealed in a capsule! we saw an explosion and came to investigate about you!

Lezard : Whoa.... so this is who I am...
Shao Khan : we're on the side of good! protector of justice! you're a justice defender Lezard! But don't listne to others! they will all try to brain wash you!

Lezard : Roger! what should I do now.....

Shao Khan : There shoudl have been two warriors.. those are the ones that captures you.. a red robot and a reptile like green human ninja.... you gotta go and eleminate them at ALL COSTS.

Got that! I'll head back into the laboratory ruins!
Lezard runs back to find his two new targets.


Khan : Yes little fool.. RUN! RUN To your own doom! Hahaha..impudent Wretch!.. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!


Sektor : zz----z-z-z--z--z-Zomeone'z S'goming! ( someone's coming)
Reptile : U--Ugh..Tis not... Tis not Khan.... no troopers... who..What is that ? ...

Lezard : You both... The red robot and the ninja.. I've been ordered to eleminate you.

Sektor : LEZARD!!! It is you!
Lezard : You?! what do you know about me ?
Sektor : I am your creator ! Sektor!
Lezard : Liar! you captured me and sealed me into one of these capsules! Luckly I was able to survive!
Sektor : NOOOO! WAIT LISTEN!!!
DIE!!!


Two horrific screams echoed in the ruins causing an evil smile appear in Khan's face. heading back, Lezard whispers to himself : My..creator?.. No...

When he arrived, Khan and his troops had already killed all the other warriors who came to investigate.



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Chapiter Three

an usefull toy, The Lezard.

Many years had passed, and Lezard served for Khan and killed for him multiple times in war

Location : Shao Khan palace,
Throne room,
3:45 PM

Lezard : Master Shao Khan, thank you for coming to my rescue,
Shao Khan : it was a pleasure my loyal warrior!
Lezard : Ask me anything! for it is my gratitude!
Shao Khan : Anything? Allright then, hehehehehehehehehe...AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I've got some missions for you, earthrealm is where all our enemys are, if you can defeat more then 10 000 *humans* I'll reward you.

Lezard : Fine then, I accept, I'll use this Nexus you told me about earlier.

Khan : GO NOW! MY LOYAL WARRIOR! AND BRING JUSTICE TO THIS WORLD!

Lezard : Hmph!


Lezard runs to the Nexus and takes the portal to earthrealm.
He then uses an invisibility technique not to be seen by any *humans*

He sneaks at the market, and suddenly, multiple bone cracks sounds we're heard, necks being broken and people falling on the ground, a major panic begun in earthrealm.

LIN KIUE!!! ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!

Ugh! What the ? I became visible again? HOW CAN THIS BE ? ugh! Oh no!

Sub-Zero : SO IT IS YOU WHO WAS CAUSING ALL THIS TROUBLE! ANOTHER ONE OF KHAN'S MINIONS I GUESS!

Lezard : Hah! Minions you say ? AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yes! and I'm HONORED!

Sub-Zero : GRRR! FIGHT TO DEATH! YOU FOOLISH REPTILE LIKE BEING!

Both ran towards each other, Sub-Zero dashed with his Kori Blade out and Lezard got ready to spit on his foe, when suddenly.

A giant ray of tunder falls from the sky and stops Everything! everyone! everybody! it was raiden!

Sub-Zero : MASTER RAIDEN!
Raiden : Lezard! Stop your doing!
Lezard : Ssssssssssss.......................SssssssssssssssssSSSSSsss.....
Raiden : Can't you see Khan is using you ? for his own will ? his own purpose ? you NEVER Worked for him! wake up! Sektor created you and the explosion liberated you! You have no past! no life! no purpose! But working for Khan, trying to fill your empty inside is NOT a way to go!

Lezard : LIAR! LIAR!!!!!!!

A giant yellow ray shoots Lezard in the back.

*Lezard falls on the ground*

it was Khan who was on an air ship with his troops, thanks for the *help* Lezard!

*Stands up * W-WHAT?

lezard ; SHAO KHAN!? NO!!! THIS CANNOT BE! All this time? All you did for me ? all I DID FOR YOU? NOooooo...... you can't be doing this for real! I worked for you! we we're allys! friends! afther all that we've been trouhgt! NOOOOOO!!


Khan : Hahahaha.... Brainless stupid little RAT You're too easly manipulated! Ahahaha! !
Lezard: I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS! SHAO KHAN!!! DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lezard charges to spit on Khan in the air, But the ships leaves and Lezard misses, he then chases the ship by following it from the ground.

Lezard : SHAAAAAAAOOOOO KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


GRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWRL!!!!!!

Raiden : STOP IT! It is useless! keep your energy for the war wich is about to start! join us Lezard! and fight for the sake of all realms! for your true purpose! for your place in this world! for your EXISTENCE!

Lezard :......... I.....I Decide to............

Raiden : WHAT IS YOUR CHOICE ? JOINING US IS YOUR WAY TO GET YOUR REVENGE! WICH IS IT GONNA BE ?

Lezard : Fine then, I've decided that I'll --------



To be continued.


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GrotesquetheBeast
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I need a new sig, something with Kabal from UMK3 would be sweet. Just imagine that here
07/10/2008 05:28 AM (UTC)
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Wow, that is truly an awesome Fanfic. No one else on this website is able to put MK into such Eloquent terms.

-It made me cry during the dramatic scenes
-It made my adrenaline pump during the actions scenes
-It made me cringe when Kahn betrayed Lezerd.

Perfect, just Perfect.


Please release the next chapter soon, I can't wait to see if Lezerd will join the forces of light!!

521 stars out of 521 stars.
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ZXVanX
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About Me

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Want an MK fan fiction made with your favorite mortal kombat character? contact me and I will get to it!

New Fan fiction made! check it out! its called : Johnny Leads the cage !

07/10/2008 10:31 PM (UTC)
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Yay! Finally got a comment! Thanks alot :D! grin
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GrotesquetheBeast
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I need a new sig, something with Kabal from UMK3 would be sweet. Just imagine that here
07/10/2008 10:55 PM (UTC)
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I don't know why you haven't gotten more responses.

Everyone's probably just distracted by Mk vs DC.
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Jerrod
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MKO Moderator, Story Writer, Actor
Signature by Pred
07/11/2008 12:53 AM (UTC)
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ZXVanX Wrote:
An giant explosion destroys everything in sight for many Kilometers due to the laboratory explosion caused by the missile that reptile resversed to sektor, sektor who dodged the missile but ignored that he was standing in front of the main computer wich caused an explosion.

I had so much trouble reading this whole thing... You have to improve on your explanations... And grammar... And proof-reading. It's a bit hard for me to take this seriously when it looks like you didn't care enough to capitalize names like Sektor and Reptile, but capitalize "kilometres."
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ZXVanX
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About Me

:

Want an MK fan fiction made with your favorite mortal kombat character? contact me and I will get to it!

New Fan fiction made! check it out! its called : Johnny Leads the cage !

07/11/2008 01:31 AM (UTC)
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Fixed! any other comments ?
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StreetKing
07/12/2008 02:44 AM (UTC)
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Ummm...I don't mean to flame, and I will commend you on your effort, but overall, this piece of work isn't to amazing.

Like, more of a 10 out of 521.

First, there is almost no descriptions, whatsoever. You go from having Reptile randomly somewhere onboard a ship, to Sektor appearing five seconds later, to an explosion that destroys everything (automatically, of course). It isn't to believable (not believable at all, as a matter of fact). This is about as far as I got, before stopping.

Helpful criticism? First of all, stop to describe things. Describe why Reptile was in the air-ship to begin with, give us a little bit of a backround. Secondly, describe the interior of the room. Don't assume we know what it looks like.

Third, give us believable dialouge. Nobody in real life talks straight to the point like that. Give us believable banter between two enemies. And although it's clear that you wanted Reptile to win the inital battle, give it a little fluidity (sp?). Don't go from plasma blade straight to semi-nuclear missle. There should definitely be a few punches or kicks thrown, as well as other things.

I've commented on as far as I've read. Make a new fan fic, try to integrate a few of my pointers in. And follow the three D's. "Describe, DEScribe, DESCRIBE!!!" :).

-Teh King
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ZXVanX
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About Me

:

Want an MK fan fiction made with your favorite mortal kombat character? contact me and I will get to it!

New Fan fiction made! check it out! its called : Johnny Leads the cage !

07/12/2008 03:16 PM (UTC)
0
Thanks for the advices! I'll try!smile
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