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Do you stay in contact with your Exs on Facebook?
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posted04/22/2012 06:23 PM (UTC)by
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Spaceman
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02/03/2011 07:50 AM (UTC)
As immature as I feel asking this I could really use some more input. I've already talked about it with some friends, but have yet to make up my mind on the subject. Basically a couple weeks ago i broke up with my girlfriend who turned out to be the most evil, remorseless person i have ever known. I WAS handling the break up ok, but then recently found out what she's been doing since the break up, during the break up and, much much more painfully, what she was doing BEFORE the break up. She did not show the slightest bit of guilt over anything and was even laughing about some of it. I don't want to sound cliche and I'm normally not a dramatic person, but i have never been so completely devastated and blind sided in my entire life. She on the other hand is handling the break up fantastically, having more or less been over me months before it actually happened.

I would like to delete her from my facebook account but hesitate because I don't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing she got to me because trust me, for the person she turned out to be nothing would make her happier. And as one of my friends mentioned, in her crazy mind it would only further justify some of the shit she did. At the same time however she is very attractive and I am not enjoying the onslaught of pictures of her partying and guys flirting with her and all that shit, but lack the self control to simply not look at it. I am incredibly depressed and just want to eliminate her from my mind as best i can. I don't even want to hate her. I don't know if deleting her and breaking all contact is a good or bad thing at this point.

Anyway, I would love to hear more thoughts on the matter or any similar experiences you guys might have. Also, in your past relationships that ended badly (if they did that is) did cutting all contact help or worsen the situation?



And also for the record, I know all these things about her because I ACCIDENTALLY signed on to her facebook and checked her messages before i even realized i was on her account. Morbid curiosity pretty much took over from there. I had long since forgotten her account is saved as the default on my computer. So yeah, I got a first hand account of all her bullshit. Really, really wish I hadn't.
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Jaded-Raven
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 •04/17/2012 02:14 AM (UTC) •
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I don't have anyone on my friendlist other than my actual friends and family. My ex and I split up as friends, but over time we just went on with our lives and I no longer talk with him, so now he is no longer on my friendlist. Simple as that.

If you worry about how your ex thinks, then she already got to you. Might as well delete her and get her as much out of your life as possible so you can move on with your life. If she really is the bitch you say she is, then she isn't worth of being on your friendlist. She's probably just laughing at you for still having her on your list, y'know. Either way, fuck what she thinks! Do what is best for you and don't give two flying fucks about what she thinks.

I hope this helped at least just a little. ^^
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[Killswitch]
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 •04/17/2012 02:18 AM (UTC) •
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Hmmm, I had one ex on my Facebook for a while, but it looks like she got her FB deleted or something. Not like it matters. We hardly talked in the first place. I have no problem with it as long as we keep our cool and mind our own business.
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Murcielago
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Get that ass BANNED

•04/17/2012 02:31 AM (UTC) •
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I don't understand the whole keep in contact with your ex. If you broke up with them, you erase them from your life. No going back, no nothing. I hate it when girls say their ex was such a dick and we broke up and next thing I know I ask what's up and they say talking to my ex or trying to get with ex again lol





You shitting me? You broke up with him because you guys got in a huge fight then a couple days later your dumbass wants to get back with him? God I fucking hate girls like that. Never have I met a guy do it, it's always the girl. This is my opinion and I'm sticking with it. Hoorah bitches.
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Jaded-Raven
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 •04/17/2012 02:42 AM (UTC) •
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Murcielago Wrote:
I don't understand the whole keep in contact with your ex. If you broke up with them, you erase them from your life. No going back, no nothing. I hate it when girls say their ex was such a dick and we broke up and next thing I know I ask what's up and they say talking to my ex or trying to get with ex again lol





You shitting me? You broke up with him because you guys got in a huge fight then a couple days later your dumbass wants to get back with him? God I fucking hate girls like that. Never have I met a guy do it, it's always the girl. This is my opinion and I'm sticking with it. Hoorah bitches.


I'm glad I don't have to deal with that. XD
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(Erik)
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 •04/17/2012 02:46 AM (UTC) •
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For the exes that I enjoy seeing or speaking to, I have remained facebook friends with them. For the exes I couldn't care less about, I am not.
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m0s3pH
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 •04/17/2012 03:26 AM (UTC) •
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I'm not the type of person who can be friends after a relationship ends, so none of my exes are on my friends list. You'd do well to BLOCK (not just delete, but block -- it eliminates the temptation to look) her.
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Dibula
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 •04/17/2012 03:34 AM (UTC) •
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The worst, yet absolute best advice I can give you is to do whatever you want. I know you have the notion that you really don't know what you want to do, which is why you came here.

I don't fully believe that though, and I doubt you really do to. Don't over complicate things. Don't worry about some paranoid notion that you are going to satisfy some sick hunger she has. She is part of your past now. Her viewpoint doesn't matter. Only focus at the simplest matter at hand.

Is it really worth keeping her on facebook?

Ignore all the other nagging factors, and do what you really want.

An old phrase goes "When faced with a decision, flip a coin. It doesn't matter what it lands on, because in that brief second it is in the air, you will know what it is you really want."

Flip your coin, broski.
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mkwhopper
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 •04/17/2012 03:49 AM (UTC) •
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I'm friends with my Ex's because I've known them since Pre-K to Elementary days and they're not bitches lol. We don't talk for like a week but we make it up somehow.

So to answer your question, if she is a bitch, block or delete her
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Murcielago
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Get that ass BANNED

•04/17/2012 04:12 AM (UTC) •
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mkwhopper Wrote:>
if she is a bitch, block or delete her


The words of God himself
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Icebaby
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 •04/17/2012 04:47 AM (UTC) •
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I did, up until the point where I realized that people like that don't need to know my life anymore.

All of my exes remained as acquaintances, not like we were viciously mad at each other after the break up, so at the time I friended them on Facebook, it didn't felt like a bad thing to do. When I realized that I wanted a privater account, I deleted those I wish to no longer associate myself with, and they were several.

My boyfriend, however, still stays in touches with some of his exes because the break-ups were mutual and remained as friends. Some I wished he didn't because they have a tendency to say something that I don't necessarily need to see/know/read/hear about. But I do trust him well enough to know that he wouldn't make the dumbest move ever.

There are some people I know who had a horrible ending with that still stays in contact with their ex, why that is, I don't know. It's really up to you with your account and who sees it or not. If there's a deeper meaning to a Facebook account, well... I don't know anymore because I don't take the site as seriously as I used to back in the day.
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devilwithin
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 •04/17/2012 06:42 PM (UTC) •
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m0s3pH Wrote:
I'm not the type of person who can be friends after a relationship ends, so none of my exes are on my friends list. You'd do well to BLOCK (not just delete, but block -- it eliminates the temptation to look) her.


Agree

I been there and best thing I ever did was block my ex on fb
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Zmoke
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 •04/17/2012 07:29 PM (UTC) •
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What if I don't have exes? You must be talking about exes as in .exe files?
.....

Only joking. This viking does have exes as well. Stay neutral, without any interaction, with your ex a few weeks or months and delete him/her/it then.
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FlamingTP
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 •04/17/2012 08:29 PM (UTC) •
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I kept her on, long enough to take her to court over what was on it.

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Krayzie_Killin_Joker
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•04/18/2012 04:26 AM (UTC) •
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My EX is my (girl) bestfriend, people don't need to erase their ex's from their life... But in my case, I was already good friends with her in the first place, so I think that's why it worked out for me.
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zerosebaz
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 •04/18/2012 05:44 AM (UTC) •
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dibula Wrote:


An old phrase goes "When faced with a decision, flip a coin. It doesn't matter what it lands on, because in that brief second it is in the air, you will know what it is you really want."
/!Quote>


Ha! I was really just going to say this and it is completely true, at least it has alwys worked for me. But, really, you shouldnt care about what anyone thinks, you have to do what you really want.
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Spaceman
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 •04/19/2012 03:00 AM (UTC) •
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Real quick before this thread fades into obscurity, I wanna thank everybody who posted. This is probably the most I've ever gotten out of all the years I've been coming to MKO. I don't always have people to talk to like this in my real life. So yeah, much appreciated.
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Jerrod
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 •04/19/2012 05:11 AM (UTC) •
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I'm acquaintances with most of my exes. If I see them, I'll say hello, and so will they, but otherwise, I'm not close with them or anything. It kind of helps that all of them are a few thousand kilometers away from me know to prevent any awkward social interactions. I keep them on FB because, well, FB isn't a huge part of my life anyway, and there's hardly bad blood between me and them. I don't need to delete/block them to get over them, I just move on with my life, and just let it be.
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Toxik
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 •04/21/2012 12:49 PM (UTC) •
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My first Ex, no. My last Ex, yes. We remain friends.
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AlphaQ_Up
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 •04/21/2012 03:00 PM (UTC) •
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If you truly want her out of your life, which I think you should do, then delete her. What she feels about that shouldn't even matter to you. Theres one ex I still keep in touch with, not really a bad breakup, she moved to the east coast and had to end and eventually those feelings faded away. Other exes though I have no real purpose to contact them or stay in touch.
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Kabal20
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 •04/21/2012 03:06 PM (UTC) •
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I think it depends on the break up. If it was a civil and amicable I don't see a problem staying friends with her, but this sounds nothing like that. It sounds like your in one of those situations where your justified in removing her as a friend from facebook. She probably could careless like you said, but you shouldn't be concerned about what she think if she's as cold hearted as she sounds. Karma will come back around and she'll get what she deserves eventually. Just wipe your hands clean of her and move on. The more your try and hang on to things the more chance you leave her to try and hurt you again and it sounds like she would if she had the chance.
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Stryker82
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 •04/22/2012 04:57 PM (UTC) •
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Absolutely not. I am not friends with anyone I've ever broken up with, and would never speak with any of them again as best as I can avoid it, which at this point has worked out very well.
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MEGAFIRE
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•04/22/2012 06:23 PM (UTC) •
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I went through a similar situation months ago. Seeing pictures of a previous girlfriend with a new guy only a few weeks after we broke up. Its pretty devistating.

I didn't want to defriend her so I just stopped getting on Facebook. I'm exclusive to Twitter now.
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