Alpha_Q_Up_Is_Back Wrote:
I swear to God, once I potentially have a gf then that's when other girls either ask me out or confess their shit to me. The girl I'm dating right now opened up to me about her feelings finally and it went very well. We're both on the same boat because we've both been fucked over plenty of times and don't really want it to happen again at the same time not wanting to assume all people will do that. We're practically like a couple just without the title and I'm in no rush to jump into a relationship either. Just taking it as the days go by. Then yesterday this one girl who I fucking wanted sooooo bad about 4 years ago, right before I met my ex, called me up crying because her boyfriend cheated on her with his ex because apparently she's a better fuck then her. So she felt like shit and then told me that she fucked up by missing out on something great. Me being purposefully naive asked her what she meant. She talked about how she pretty much rejected me (its a long story, it accidentally slipped out kinda early on in our friendship, I really didn't plan on telling her at the time because I didn't feel ready) and that she knew I was different from most guys but didn't think we could make things work out. I told her that it hurt that she didn't give me a chance but it was such a long ass time ago that I've been over it as long as I can remember. But god damn she is amazingly gorgeous and has the most beutiful eyes I've ever seen in my life. I told her I'm seeing someone and that I couldn't drop her because I really do care about her and she actually understand why I am the way I am and relates to me. I mean I went on and on about her. Not only that but I'm not going to mess shit up just to be someone's rebound. I mean if I was still single then I'd be hitting the jackpot because this girl I was fwb with this year also told me she started having strong feelings for me even while she was dating some other guy. She's cool as hell and all, but the reasons why we were fwb is because our relationship was mainly just pure attraction and there was just no spark. Eventually I guess I grew on her but it didn't happen with me. I wasn't even looking for anything when all this shit happened. I spent a year like a moron looking for a relationship thinking I could find one but that never works, now I have someone amazing (who I'm not going to fuck up on for sure, I just hope it doesn't bite me in the ass later on) and someone I would've gave up the world for along time ago, and someone who was a great piece of ass that was mutual in this big ol mess. The only thing that sucks is that the girl who rejected me those years ago became even hotter over the years and I'd be lying to say I wasn't tempted but my girl right now is the whole package. Looks, personality, humor, talent, and strong willed. I'm not giving that up for nothing.
I'd like to follow your wall of text with another wall of text of somewhat similar circumstances.
Two years ago, back when I was still with my psychotic ex, I met this girl in one of my classes. Really chill girl, similar personality to mine, and to top it all off, a body to kill for. If the scale went to 11, she's there. Anyway, we really hit it off during class throughout the semester but I never really got the chance to hang out with her at all for various reasons. I hate to admit that I would do this, but if (I knew that) she wanted me, she could have had me, because I would have dropped everything for her. In my wildest dreams I could never come up with a girl more perfect than her.
Time passed, we started talking again last year during the 5 or so months that I was single. I took her out a few times, kinda to gauge where she was at, because she (amazingly) had been single all this time (and still is). Everything seemed to be going well, and I thought it was time to express what I was feeling, see if I could take things to a new level. I had something pretty romantic planned for her, I had made her a video in the style of that famous scene from "Love, Actually" (you all know the one). I had been planning on uploading it to YouTube and then linking her to it, as kind of a surprise.
As it turned out, she wanted to be with me back when I was in a relationship, got over it, and claimed that she couldn't feel that way about me again, and also added that it's great that we're such good friends. Thankfully she's probably the one person that I don't mind being in the friend zone with, because she's such a kickass person to spend time with. In fact, she's probably my best friend right now and is practically the yin to my yang most of the time.
Now that I have another girlfriend, more things have slowly started to come out from her. She's a pretty reserved person and doesn't like to open up to too many people. Since last year, she's mentioned that she saw a lot in me, was initially a little scared of me when we first met and thought I was too cool for her, and more recently, that she sincerely wanted to feel the same way about me then as she did two years ago, but was too afraid that I would hurt her because she had been hurt quite a bit back then. Not only that, but since my girlfriend has been in London this semester, we've hung out quite a bit more than usual and I fear that I'm going to let myself get sucked in again. I'll never betray my girlfriend, she means way too much to me, I'm just afraid that I'm going to get dependent.
So since I know that my best friend and I will never happen, I've resigned myself to a role where I kind of go out of my way to help her out and give her the emotional support that a boyfriend would give, obviously without the physical stuff, because that's the kind of value I assign to our friendship. At the very least, I know that we're going to stay friends for a very long time, but should things ever fall apart between my girlfriend and I, it's going to be tough for me to not make another attempt at convincing her to be with me.
) but the pain is so excruciating I felt like I was dying!! I waited till i felt better before posting here. 
