Why? If you don't mind me asking....

This.

And. Life is what you make of it. At least to me it is

depends what kinda tomatoes u be gettin i hate hate soft soggy tomatoes thats the worst thing when u put a soggy tomato or any soggy fruit in your mouth not that tomatoes are fruits

you gotta get hard crisp tomatoes thats where its at

and wtf is a bushetta?

HUURAY FOR COOKING!

Exactly.

No offence flameshang, but if your life is seriously as bad as you've made it out to be in past posts, venting here is only going to do you so much. Whatever your problems are, assess what you can do about them to change them. And if that's not possible, why not seek out a proffessional counsellor to talk to? Or find a hobby to take your mind off what's troubling you?

I felt the exact same there in March. I felt like I had nothing going for me, and that my life was monotonous at 21. I realised what I wanted out of life, what I wanted to change, and I said "fuck it, I'm going for it". I applied to go back to college, got myself a new job and cut all cords with the people in my life who were bringing me down, family included.

It's not even September yet and I start my first week of college in two weeks in a course I can't wait to do (and that I'm getting paid for), I've a deposit sorted for when I move out, and a part time job to keep me going. Most of all though, I'm Happy. I've things to look forward to and I've the power to realise that the only person who shapes my destiny or my life is myself. That's just in the space of 5 months. As hard and cold as it might sound, complaining about your situation does nothing to alleviate it. If you want change, you need to step up and make change happen.

Ask yourself what's bothering you, and try find a positive outcome that you want to happen and go for it. Don't look back on your life and feel regret that you let yourself be bothered by something that you could have potentially had the power to change.

Well for starters, my mother is currently the only employed member of my house... my dad is disabled, so he is not allowed to work even though he says he wishes he could. and i don't have a job, i don't have a car... i have no way of making money.

my household consists of Me, my father and my mother. my 24 year old brother comes over damn near everyday and its always at a shit time (when diner is almost done, or right before my mother goes to sleep so she can get up at 5am to go to work) and is always LOUD and eating up all of OUR damn food. we are on a tight budget we cant afford to have you eat all of the stuff here. we always make extras for diner because you know he is family and he is always welcome to eat dinner with us, but all of the stuff in the fridge and in the cabinets belong to strictly the people LIVING in this house. He is the manager at Red Lobster and he makes WAY more money than anyone in this house. so go get your own food man.

so yeah that's stressful enough

but then today i heard some terrible news. My mother who is our main source of income was just informed by her boss, that the place she works out is closing on Friday... seriously. 3 days notice!!

our budget is tight enough, we are SOOO behind on bills, and debts and a whole bunch of other things we need to get payed off.

My mothers car has been in the shop, but we had to take it out before they fixed it because we did not have money to pay for it getting fixed. so now she is using my fathers car. so she works the weekends 5 to 3 and Monday and Tuesday works 3 to 9. so me and my father don't have a car at all during that time span.

and all of that shit just keeps piling on.

on top of it, everything keeps breaking... my tv remote broke, my xbox broke, my tv is about to break. my birthday is next month... im not expecting anything i just want for my birthday to get everything fixed the car.

my day is almost 60 years old, he has had 3 heart attacks a triple bypass open heart surgery two hip replacements... he is also my best friend i have ever had in my life. I stay by his side and defend him in every case possible. he isn't very big but im a pretty big boy and i can defend myself but i put defending my dad WAY ahead of myself even though he wishes i wouldn't. but i love him that much. im sure if he had to he could defend himself anyways. but he is a HEAVY smoker and he goes through depression also, and he is always saying he doesn't know how much longer he has... it makes me so upset when he says this. I love him SO! much. i don't ever want to lose him. if i did i do not know what i would do.

im just so depressed. i am not normally like this. my life used to be SO great. i haven't cried in SO long but now, i cry a lot.

I know a lot of people on this planet have it much worse... maybe im just being selfish... i don't knoww..

well thanks Keenan for seeming like you cared. i appreciate it.

You take tomatoes, onions, garlic and mix it together with pepper, salt, olive oil (and what I did a touch of oregano) and place it on Italian bread.



This but without the pieces of cheese. I think i might add that on tomorrow.

any meat?

Nope.

are you vegetarian

what you sad bout bro?

I've been reading flameshang's sad posts for months and never ever taken thirty seconds out of my day to be like "babe what's wrong."

Hmmm, I always assumed the posts were a bit of trolling but due to my own depression my thought process has been quite dampened. Perhaps I will have to give them a read.

That's honestly the same way I've felt about her posts. I dislike how we're talking about her as if she's not around and able to read this.

I often look up at home work outs. And do them. I enjoy exercising. It makes me feel good, it makes me look good, and it releases those endorphins we so desperately need. But I haven't been keeping up with my regiment because I've spent basically Tuesday through Saturday being a reckless person with my friends the entirety of July and August. This is how my body is punishing me, and I deserve it. At least I went out for a five mile run today.

I know weight doesn't matter to people who matter. But it's really a self confidence thing. And looking around, and watching how nearly everybody from high school has gained a considerable amount of weight, or how every adult I see is obese, I just don't want to be like that. It's crazy how quickly twenty pounds creeped up on me. And I just fear lacking the ability to lose it.

wow this is getting real emotional

on another note taking good shit in the freezer and cookin it up cause i dont know what to eat

This makes me sad and it's far too common nowadays that people can't make ends meet due to layoffs and prices keep going up like crazy, you've got a hell of a lot on your plate right now, it;s hard dealing with so much stress and life changes, my dad died last year, which was strange to say the least, but back to what's going on with you, you're great for being very attentive to your parents and selfish people can really frustrate you and you're not being seflsh, this is normal to be so angry and upset with such a situation, I know it's hard but you gotta find a way to bring some joy back into your lives, some family game nights, stuff that doesn't cost a ton, it might not make the problems go away, but it can certainly ease the stress and hardship to have some fun and enjoyment in your life with people you love, I'm sorry that I couldn't offer any advice, but I'm rooting for anybody with a good heart.

When did flameshang become a female? Because she needs to update her profile info if that's the case...

He's a boy, but anyway, I feel we shouldn't be discussing him as though he's not here and can't read this so....yeah

I should know better than to assume that there are females on the internet. My mistake. He's a very pretty boy then? Surpassing even Tyrant-Cenobite.

I start school in two days, should be glorious.

If I ever have a girl(baby), I'll name her Knives

Really? I'm naming mine Sporks. :D

*facepalm* If you played, watched or read Scott Pilgrim, you would know "amigo"