We should get back on topic.

I'm not gay(and I hold nothing against them), but if I was, I wouldn't keep it a secret because I wouldn't care what people think of me if I was

I know how u feel cuz my mom is gay and i got arrested for hitting her girlfriend in the head w/ my wooden bat... i wuz upset and that wuz how i b-came the fighter i am 2day! L.O fucking L!!!!!

Woah, what?

You sir, need some psychiatric or psychological help :P Why did you hit your mom's girlfriend in the head for(not any of my business but i'm curious why)

....................

I don't know how your story even moderately correlates to McHotCakes' story, but yeah violence isn't the answer.......

Well sometimes ppl wanna try DP out but it just hurts too much...

Heyooooooo!

OMG it's been years since I saw you how are you doing ??! It's nice to see you around! Haha

Btw I got a question. At the beginning of your post you said : ''Years and years ago, I decided I was gay.''

So you just - decided - you were gay? Cause most of us didn't decide. We realized that's how we were. I was just curious.

Glad to have you back !



I don't wanna sound like my question has a double sense, I'm just totally curious about your story. So you like to crossdress, and you are not attracted by boys? I mean, I am gay and I like to be VERY masculine. I got friends who are gay AND like to crossdress, and some of them are dragqueens (I consider dragqueens and crossdressers two different things). But you are the first person I meet that is heterosexual crossdresser. So my question is: aren't you even a little bit attracted to men? And what do you like about dressing like a woman? How did you find out you liked to crossdress?

Anyway I am not insulting you or anything, just curious.



Exactly

I don't wanna sound like my question has a double sense, I'm just totally curious about your story. So you like to crossdress, and you are not attracted by boys? I mean, I am gay and I like to be VERY masculine. I got friends who are gay AND like to crossdress, and some of them are dragqueens (I consider dragqueens and crossdressers two different things). But you are the first person I meet that is heterosexual crossdresser. So my question is: aren't you even a little bit attracted to men? And what do you like about dressing like a woman? How did you find out you liked to crossdress?

Anyway I am not insulting you or anything, just curious.
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Actually its a common myth that most cross dressers are gay. There are slightly more straight Crossdresses than gay ones. (Source would a be a demographics poll that was taken sometime ago at Crossdressers.com forum).

There is a very very specific kind of male that I am attracted to, but even then it is only a passing fantasy, I can recognize an attractive man, but I don't want to have a relationship with one. I have a girlfriend whom I love very much.
What attracts me to crossdressing is the pageantry of it. Its not a sexual thing for me, I simply enjoy the feel of the fabrics used in female clothing and I like putting on the make up and such.
I found out about this when I was 14 and crossdressed on Halloween under a dare. I had a lot of fun with it and really enjoyed it, so I kept doing it when the mood strikes me.

I've been following this thread a bit and appreciate the open discussion. I was hoping that some of you might elaborate on coming out in terms of parental acceptance. I work as a counselor for troubled youth (ages 5 – 18) and one of my older clients (16) has confided in me regarding his sexuality although he indicates having not "outed" himself with close friends and family.

He often looks to me for advice which I give in the form of reflective counseling theory (i. e. Absent of personal opinions). Lately though it seems like he's really wanting me to give him a definitive "yes or no" in terms of coming out to his family... almost to the point of seeming to want approval.

So my questions are thus:

A. What (if any) personal experiences did you have addressing sexuality with your parents? How did you go about it?

B. What sort of advice would you relay to your younger self regarding coming out if given the option?

C. What sort of (if any) counseling did you seek regarding "coming out" or sexuality related issues? Was it helpful or no?

Thanks in advance to anyone who responds.

Through the medium of dance ?

A. What (if any) personal experiences did you have addressing sexuality with your parents? How did you go about it?

Well for me anyways my mom just knew there was something on my mind. I was often distracted, depressed, and withdrawn. One day she sat me at the kitchen table and just started talking to me. I was terrified, like my heart wanted to tell her but my brain was holding me back. Finally I just bit back on my fear and told her. She was a little stunned at first but then just started asking general questions. I found comfort in that. Knowing that she would rather understand more about it then be afraid of it.

When my dad found out he was eaves dropping on a phone call I was having with my mom. He's never adressed it, but he never treated me any differently. I'm still just his son, and he's fine as long as I don't forget who he raised me to be.

B. What sort of advice would you relay to your younger self regarding coming out if given the option?

Don't be so afraid of who you are. You're still you regardless of how anyone else labels you. Don't let how people might react hold you back. No one knows how everyone will react, all you can do is be honest about it, and know that there's always someone who will be willing to listen and help.

C. What sort of (if any) counseling did you seek regarding "coming out" or sexuality related issues? Was it helpful or no?

I grew up in a small town, with a heavy christian influence. There was no counseling to be had unfortunatly. In high school, I wasn't like the other gay guys because I didn't seem gay. But I remember seeing the hell that the other gays had to go through on a daily basis. Getting picked on for having feminine lisps and slight builds. It made it much harder to come out because I thought once I did, I'd be stuck in that same hell(And I hated high school and got picked on enough as it was). Looking back I really wish there was someone to talk to about it. It was the most lonely feeling in the world having to hide a huge part of my self every day just because of the constant fear. No one that young should have to bare that shame and fear by themselves, it's too much.

A: When I was younger, my dad would get extremely angry if he caught me doing things that macho men weren't supposed to do... Like not fixing cars in my spare time. I actually had wonderful sisters who would 'protect' me, so to speak, though they were often punished pretty severely for it. These days, I am too far gone for him to handle, I'm into theater, singing, dancing, cooking, etc... And most of the time he doesn't speak to me directly at family gatherings. For these reasons, I have not addressed my sexuality with my dad. I think he silently knows but still, at every possible opportunity, tries to confirm that I want to marry a woman and make her clean my house. I just act like myself, hide absolutely nothing, but never explicitly state I'm gay. I think this works, and I'm fairly certain my stepmother is well aware of my sexuality, and in time the two may develop the ability to ignore it, rather than hate me.

On the other hand, my mother is a lesbian. She says my father's religion ruined her life because him and his church made her so afraid to be herself that it took her decades to fully accept herself. She just recently 'came out' and started dating a woman, despite the fact that she told me at least five years ago she was gay. In this situation, my mother and stepdad accepted me without a second thought, and I think they actually loved me more after we talked about it. They're separated now, but they're still close. Before I knew about my mom's dilemma, I would say hateful and homophobic things around her to see how she reacted... She would get so mad, and that's how I knew I could trust her. Granted, I did not take the best approach, hehe, but it worked for me.

These stories offer little in the ways of advice, but they are stories nonetheless and there is someone else out there who can relate to them.

B: I don't know... I'm still quite young. Maybe just to do it sooner, just stop hiding it as soon as I possibly could, because until I came out, my sexuality caused me nothing but pain. After I did, it has been nothing but joy, mostly.... My circumstances are different from others though, so sometimes it's best to wait, but for me it wasn't.

C: None. My mother kept trying to convince me to go to youth groups, etc... but I just didn't want to. I'd spent the vast majority of my life depending on only myself, and I wasn't about to change that. I did, however, have a single meeting with a man who wasn't even a counselor, but just seemed to get it. During my second to last year in high school, I showed up to my 3rd class crying on several occasions. I don't want to go into the details of that, suffice to say my emotions were completely out of control, and I had just come out. Ultimately, he just made me feel more normal. I was under no illusions that my problems were more important than everyone else's, but when you're that upset you just let all the problems feel much more important than they are. He grounded me, reminded me that it isn't the end of the world, but more or less the beginning of my real life. Did it help me? Most definitely. My emotions still get the better of me from time to time, and it is usually relationships that trigger it, but he helped me understand that it is perfectly normal for me to want to be with someone, even if they were the same sex. My dad spent so much of my life making sure I knew I was wrong, so my feelings toward relationships with other men were far too complex for me to handle. This man fixed that.

Hmmm... That was all a bit personal... But I'm anonymous! So screw it.

I'm not gay either, but if I were, I'd be terrified to let people know. There is so much hate out there, for one reason or another. That's scary stuff. Those who have had the bravery to step up and say "I don't care what people think anymore. I am who I am." are more of a man than I could ever be.

It's alot easier to say "I don't care what others think" than to get into the actual mindset of not caring what others think.

This goes for more than being gay, too. Any minority has to face these challenges.

Regardless of all the angry dragon points discussion, I think those who have posted their stories are, in fact, telling of a time when they showed a lot of courage. It's inspiring.

Wow, some heavy stories in this thread. Didn't read all the posts but I admire some of you guys's courage and strength to get through the barriers, especially at young ages. Props.

If I was gay, I'd come out by renting out a nightclub and having a big sex party. Did I mention I'm a whore regardless of orientation?

If there's anyone left in this thread whom I haven't made feel totally awkward, please let me know and I'll try harder on my next post.

Seriously, though, much respect to those of you who went through trouble.

Bring it, chile!

lol good ole Leo

As long as it's funny bring on the awkward.

p.s. Happy belated birthday, I just noticed we're born one day apart from each other, das cool.

My 'coming out' has so far been pretty smooth, granted it's not over yet, but I've actually been really fortunate in that respect.

Basically it was just an unspoken knowledge between me and my friends. I'm pretty sure they all knew before, but it just never got addressed until one day I started acknowledging that I liked a guy here or there and it was just as if I'd told them years ago.

I haven't actually told my parents yet. Although unstereotypically it's because I'm pretty sure they already know and are cool with it, and so I want to wait til I'm in a decent steady relationship before I confirm it to them.
I know it's not an issue, I have a cousin who came out last year and my nan acts cool with it, but slings out phrases that make it clear she's not, which in turn pisses my Mum off. Both my mum and Dad have made it clear in one way or another that they are cool with the gays, so I have no worries about them not being accepting.

I t might sound stupid that I haven't already told them given my fortunate situation, but personally I'd rather be able to tell them that I'm gay, and also happy and in a decent relationship ship, as opposed to telling them that I'm gay and alone.


Reading through some of you guys' stories really makes me realise how fortunate I've been so far. The closest I got to a hiccup with coming out was with the second person I 'announced' it to. I'd been in love with him for close to three years and we came out to each other on the same night, only he also told me he had a boyfriend.. which sucked.

Although I turned that experience into an autobiographical assignment for uni this year, and it got me my highest mark in that module. Silver lining and all that jazz.

...

I'll be holding try-outs for people who wanna attend...



Thanks dude! Happy Birthday to you!

I've worked since I was 17 in a LGBTQ Youth Group here in Dublin where on a daily basis I'd needed to have offered support to young members of the group who were coming out. Mainly my job entailed offering them experience and a someone to talk to in regards to coming out, in general they were quite relaxed talking to me about it because I myself was quite young. Hats off to you for doing work in that field with young people, it's an amazing show of character and I'll do my best to answer your questions.

(A) I come from a rather large, clear cut masculine family. My father and his brothers were notorious in my area for being bar fighters who bullied respect from the people in my community. As you can imagine, coming out to a family like that wasn't easy. At first I was rebellious about my personality, changing my identity from Rocker, to Goth, to Indie to Preppy, but when it dawned on me I was running from the underlying issues in my mind I sat my mother down first and talked to her about the things going on in my mind. I'd been going to the school counsellor for a few months leading up to that, which was also a revelation to my mother, but it was through that counsellor that I was able to express the thoughts and desires that I normally kept locked up. It was with her I was able to choke out the words "I'm gay" and address my mother about it. Initially, my mother told me I'd to wait until my father died before I could come out, for she knew he'd be hostile about it.

My counsellor never told me to come out, but it was through her I learned that being what I was was not a bad thing. It was through her I learned how to accept what I was and be confident about it, before I personally decided to tell my mother. I was not encouraged to do so, but despite her knowing about my family's history we both knew it was inevitably for the best that I would come out at some point, but the ball was always in my court for me to decide when it was best to say it. The only thing I can advise is that you build up your client's confidence to accept who he/she is and hope that they take that strength to go down their own path and embrace who they are.

B) The advice I'd take would be to savour my identity and embrace life to the full. There's not a day I look back and regret my decisions and I'm incredibly happy with where my life has gone, but I can honestly say things went for the better once I did come out despite the obvious dark patches with my dad. If I could go back in time to a younger me, I'd tell myself: "John, listen up. Always practice safe sex, respect yourself, and don't keep company with anybody who doesn't respect you. Things will work out in the end, but you just need to be strong and confident." I'd encourage myself not to be afraid of the person I was developing into, and to not be ashamed of the way I was feeling towards other men. Honestly I never regreted coming out even despite the treatment I initially got off my family. I've never been happier and I'd love for my younger self to see that and know things would turn out alright.

C) I initially went to counselling in my school, which was excellent, as the lady who was there was incredibly considerate and understanding. It made me feel like somebody would be decent enough to listen to me and my stupid problems at the time and relate to me, which was invaluable for my age as I was already quite shy and reserved. Through her I learned of the youth group I eventually went on to work for, and once I started going there I got to meet other gay teenagers who were in the same predicament. Knowing I wasn't alone was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, and I made friends I'll keep for life from that. I'd encourage counselling or support groups for anybody who was struggling with accepting their sexuality, because it's a needless struggle. Nobody should have to, nor should feel any reason to. There'll be pricks in society who'll be rude or hostile but I've learned that's their loss due to their own prejudice to discriminate against people who have never wronged them. Groups like that can empower younger people to not feel like victims and take control of their own lives, and I can say that from experience.

Hope that helps :)

Amazing post!!! Enjoyed reading it a lot.

Thank you! I'm happy to help! :)

In regards to earlier posts, I'd like to clarify something. I'm not, by any means, expecting a bouquet of Roses thrown at my feet daily for being different. ZeroSymbolic made the arguement earlier that "Special rewards for being gay are what piss off a lot of straight people", and I'd like to just make one respectful remark in regards to that.

As a gay man, I can tell you outstraight that I don't expect to be treated any differently for being who I am. I don't walk around with a limp wrist, or a lisp, and I don't call everyone "gurlfriend" and make bitchy remarks in regards to fashion. And even if I did do all of that, I'd still deserve to be treated like anybody else, which is the only thing I've ever wanted in the first place. Regardless if I'm considered a stereotype or not,it doesn't change the fact I'm still a person. Cut me open and I'll bleed red. Hit me and I'll feel pain. I'm just as human as anyone else.

I would never expect to be treated with special gloves just because of who I find attractive. My desires don't ultimately define me, to me my interest in men is as irrelevant to my daily life as my interest in Mortal Kombat, or Animation, or Astrology. Yet while my sexuality is no big deal to me, for some reason it does seem to strike a chord with a lot of other people, including people I don't even know. There's a general stigma that as a homosexual we are weaker than our heterosexual bretheren, we're deemed inferior, less important, and in some cases it's portrayed like we deserve the abuse we can recieve off of society. I've lost count how many times I've been insulted, or degraded, or attacked for nothing more than my sexuality, and I've also lost count of how many times I've had to defend it to those who are simply too ignorant to live and let live. That to me doesn't seem like any significant form of "special reward" at all, if anything it screams unfair prejudice. As a straight man you'll most likely never have the expectation on you to hide who you find attractive or refrain from showing affection to those you love in public, nor will you ever be persecuted for loving a woman. And while I get the fact that no matter what your ethnicity, orientation or general appearance is like your going to be insulted, I see no valid reason why it's ok to brush any of that under the carpet. If people want to speak up against that treatment and inspire others to have the confidence to live their own lives, I say fair play to them.

To see these coming out stories on a website that's devoted to blood and violence is a wonderful thing in my eyes. Not only does it show how open and accepting the Mortal Kombat community is, but it's a beautiful reminder of how open and accepting society is slowly becoming. But that will never happen if there's no topics like this to raise awareness to issues like coming out, or if topics like this don't highlight why there is a need to come out and stand up against prejudice within society. Not only can I see this topic inspiring those who haven't come out to live their own lives but I hope it also reminds our straight friends that there is still a potentially hostile environment out there towards their gay friends and family that needs to be changed. Those who have contributed need a lot more than dragon points. I'd shake their hands for their honesty and courage if I could.

So many new Gays on MKO. That's nice.