The Legacy of the Cryomancer King
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11/28/2013 01:44 AM (UTC)by
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MastaRoe
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Member Since
04/18/2011 02:42 PM (UTC)
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GrotesquetheBeast
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About Me
I need a new sig, something with Kabal from UMK3 would be sweet. Just imagine that here
11/28/2013 01:44 AM (UTC)
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I enjoyed this. Your interpretation of the Cyromancer race and its downfall is cool. I like the mention of Gorbak too, obviously you’ve read up on your MK mythology.

One thing, whenever two characters are exchanging dialogue, it’s traditional to indent their individual lines. That way, your reader knows when each character is talking.

So for example:

“One character will start talking,” GTB said.

“And the other will reply to that,” GTB said again to himself, pretending he was another person.

And so on and so forth in that fashion. This was a good Fanfic though. Well done.

5/5
Pages: 1
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