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Mortal Kombat Deception Press release! ( Parody thread)
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posted07/08/2004 09:43 AM (UTC)by
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ErmacMk5
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12/22/2003 05:23 PM (UTC)

Well kids, a new MK game is coming out. Does it have new quicker, playing? Well no, it's still more stiff than Bob Dole doing a viagra kommercial. Will there be anymore ground breaking kharacters? ummmmm...no...you're ok if we repackage Johnny Cage with a klone character? Right? How about a female Raiden? a female Kano? What about a female Jax komplete with Goatee? Only in Deception.

Not only will you get the usually assortment of klone kharacters that you've expected of Mortal Kombat since 1997; you will also get pallatte swaps! Using the new Zeus 3 tekhnology, we are able to pikk out every kolor available on the playstation 2 and X-Box; that's over 2 million kolors! That means 2 million ninjas, 5 clones, a few stale kharacters and... yep you guessed it.. NEVER BEFORE IN 3-D kharacters:


Rain- Believed to be Dead, Rain was actually working as a secret operative of Edenias for Queen Sindel. Rumor has it that Realm has resurfaced to find the Rosetta stone; no, not the language one, the one that will revive his purported love interest, Jade, who is as beautiful as she is dead(ly).

Jade- Believed to be dead, Jade was working as an operative for Queen Sindel with her long time frien Rain, when she disappeared; It is rumored among the...you know...people who spread rumors in mortal kombat games, that Jade has choked on a Penut shell in a PB&J at Bo'Rai Cho's house. She finds herself in the Netherealm, a pawn in a nefarious scheme built on Wheat bread and JIFF...
Mokap- Equipped with a new pair of Knee pads, Mokap tongues...er talks his way into the newest installment of Mortal Kombat. That's all...Mokap doesn't get a story.
More Kharacters 2 kome as soon as my insider komes online! To Be kontinued!


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MoodyShooter
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Dedicated, hopeless...Li Mei fan.

 •06/25/2004 03:58 AM (UTC) •
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Too...Many..K's... *dies, but of course comes back to life* ...Eh, funny I guess. I know someone is going to take this seriously so becareful.
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subzero961
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 •06/25/2004 04:03 AM (UTC) •
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ROFLMAO that was some funny shit.
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ErmacMk5
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 •06/25/2004 04:12 AM (UTC) •
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New News guys!

Noob Saibot- Tired of being racially discriminated against by creators who always give his roles to spin off crackers like Reiko and Skab, Noob Saibot leaves for Soul Calibur... he will now be Noob of Arcadia, the Moore of the Bridge.

Sub-Zero- His body worn away from the power of his dragon amulet known as the salty peter, Sub-Zero seeks out the cure to his affliction. Raiden sends him to seek the geriatric three, a group of medicine men who will cure his impote...his affliction..Weapon: Winter Wheelchair.

Shujinko: 13 at the time of MK 1, Shujinko sets out to become a great warrior. As The Dragon King comes to power, Shujinko emerges 12 years later as a 65 year old warrior; The Dragon King sees this gaping plot hole, which is actually a portal to the Earthrealm, and moves his army through it.
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secondgen
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 •06/25/2004 07:43 AM (UTC) •
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Keep em comin, man. Freakin hilarious!
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Cyborg
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 •06/25/2004 07:47 AM (UTC) •
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I think this may be in the wrong section...
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ErmacMk5
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 •06/25/2004 02:35 PM (UTC) •
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Smoke- Believed to be dead (What else)? Smoke went into hiding after being called a broken robot by the other Cyborgs. It seems that they saw the billowing smoke coming out of his crotch as a sign of weakness. Smoke has come back, having learned a few new moves that probably belong to other characters; He will remain the
Mili Vanilli of Mortal Kombat.

Shang Tsung- As Mortal Kombat Deception proved, Shang Tsung has his beak in everything; not only has he stolen the souls of the masters who created the crane and snake fighting styles, but he also helped finance Osama Bin Laden; This brought him in conflict with George Bush.

George Bush- The highly edumacted leeedr of the Unyted Stayts of Amerika, George Bush made a connection between Osama Bin Laden and Shang Tsung, when he saw that they were both Left handed, and had black hair; that being enough of evidence, Bush sends his armies to firebomb outworld; this brings our hero in conflict with the Dragon King.

Michael Moore- The extremely rotund film maker was filming his latest flick, staring Johnny Cage, when the armies of the USA attacked. Apparently Moore has been liked to Osama Bin Laden and Shang Tsung because "They all have goatees". Moore must now find refuge in the land of Edenia.
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ErmacMk5
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 •06/25/2004 02:48 PM (UTC) •
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Peanut- Deep in hiding since the first Mortal Kombat, Peanut is a brown palatte swapped Ninja. Working for the dragon king, it is rumored by those gossiping shadow priests that Peanut infested Jade's sandwich, ending her life. Peanut now finds himself in conflict with Rain, in a battle that will determine the least important palatte swap character ever.
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DrCube
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 •06/25/2004 02:50 PM (UTC) •
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This is awsome! grin *shakes fist*Write more.
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ErmacMk5
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 •06/25/2004 02:51 PM (UTC) •
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Elvis-Believed to be dead, the King actually had his soul sucked out of his body into a portal that formed in his toilet seat. Given a new body by long time fan Raiden, Elvis is now back to play his patchy collection of hits.
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ErmacMk5
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 •06/25/2004 02:56 PM (UTC) •
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Raiden- Upon playing the original Mortal Kombat and beating the game with himself, Raiden realizes he wasn't supposed to be a father figure; rather he was supposed to be an egomaniacal god who didn't like humans. Tired of being a lower-tier character, Raiden sets out to be evil again; this was all part of a deception by the returning John Tobais, who didn't mention to Raiden that the endings are what ifs.
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Jerrod
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MKO Moderator, Story Writer, Actor
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 •06/25/2004 03:03 PM (UTC) •
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ErmacMK5 Wrote:
Elvis-Believed to be dead, the King actually had his soul sucked out of his body into a portal that formed in his toilet seat. Given a new body by long time fan Raiden, Elvis is now back to play his patchy collection of hits.

Oh yeah, I remember Elvis! He fought Bubba-Hotep, the mummy in the retirement home he was hiding in!* Good stuff man! Do more based on the real characetrs though (please do the redundant Scorpion!).

*See the movie "Bubba-Hotep" starring Bruce Campbell, for details.
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ErmacMk5
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 •06/25/2004 03:06 PM (UTC) •
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Scorpion: Upon exacting his revenge on Quan Chi, Scorpion comes to a realization; 7 years ago whe he sought vengeance against Quan Chi, a movie called The Titanic replaced him as the most overrated proper noun ever; hell-bound for revenge, Scorpion seeks out the one called "Leo."

Liu Kang- After destroying Evil Betty in his day job as the star of Kung Pow!, the chosen one heard his true love calling out to him "Chosen one, oweee oweee oweee oweee, this is Kitana, save me or I am one roasted granny, owee owee oweee." Liu Kang leaves for Edenia, his usual asortment of turkey rape calls intact.
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ErmacMk5
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 •06/25/2004 03:18 PM (UTC) •
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Fan Boi: Despite multiple restraining orders, and a brief stay in a mental institution, Fan Boi continues to stalk Scorpion; He is determined to ask him all the important questions like "How come you didn't win the MK1 Tournament?" and "How much stronger are you then like, every Mortal Kombatant combined?" and "Want to spoon?"; To do so, he must enter outworld.
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tgrant
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Project MKK: Coming soon...

Currently working on: MKD & MKA - The One Ring Theory
•06/25/2004 03:34 PM (UTC) •
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lol Nice work man. These are great!
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Wanderer
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 •06/25/2004 03:47 PM (UTC) •
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Ecks-Friggin'-Dee


These are awesome. Shujinko is my favorite so far.
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sean_raleigh
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 •06/25/2004 05:49 PM (UTC) •
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Johnny Cage, Fresh out of his movie premere of Mortal Kombat: The Caged Fury. Was set to enter the 6th Mortal Kombat tournement. Upon learning, his longtime rival Ben Kobra was also attending the event, he quickly revolked himself from any further attemps to enter Mortal Kombat.

When ask why? He replied. "That guy mad me bleed my own blood, nobody makes me bleed my own blood". "He is a fake, cheap ass ripoff of me, he broke my $500 dollar glasses and he stole my milk money in school".

End comment. Well there you have it. Johnny Cage not returning to Mortal Kombat for fear of getting his as kicked by Ben Kobra and just about everyone else.

Was he crying while walking away? hehe What a baby.

Well thats it from MK on the D Day. Back to you!
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ErmacMk5
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 •06/25/2004 10:29 PM (UTC) •
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Dragon King: Originally a slave to shao kahn, Reptile was transformed into the Dragon King. This is peculiar, seeing that Some claim the Dragon King is Kahn himself, who also might be Reiko. Add in a rumor that Liu Kang is the Dragon King and you have a very schizophrenic villian; he might even be a mime.
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UltimateRyu
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MortalKombatSecrets

 •06/25/2004 10:58 PM (UTC) •
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wow these are funny. Do one for kintaro!
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ErmacMk5
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 •06/26/2004 03:19 AM (UTC) •
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Kintaro- Pissed off at storyline inconsistencies, Kintaro seeks out the newly revived John Tobais, to ask why he has tiger stripes and the other Shokan don't; I mean he is half dragon-half man right?

ultimateryu Wrote:
wow these are funny. Do one for kintaro!

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SNAKE_EATER
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new forum http://s11.invisionfree.com/ultimaterevange/index.php?act=idx

 •06/26/2004 04:09 AM (UTC) •
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ErmacMK5 Wrote:
Kintaro- Pissed off at storyline inconsistencies, Kintaro seeks out the newly revived John Tobais, to ask why he has tiger stripes and the other Shokan don't; I mean he is half dragon-half man right?

ultimateryu Wrote:
wow these are funny. Do one for kintaro!


lol these are funny do one for chris jericho
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NoObSaIbOt777
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About Me

"Is, uh,...Is your wife a goer, eh? Know whatahmean, know whatahmean, nudge nudge, know whatahmean, say no more?"

 •06/27/2004 12:10 AM (UTC) •
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SNAKE_EATER Wrote:

ErmacMK5 Wrote:
Kintaro- Pissed off at storyline inconsistencies, Kintaro seeks out the newly revived John Tobais, to ask why he has tiger stripes and the other Shokan don't; I mean he is half dragon-half man right?

ultimateryu Wrote:
wow these are funny. Do one for kintaro!

lol these are funny do one for chris jericho


O no, I'm doin this 1.

Chris Jericho: Originally offered a part in the first MK, Jericho said no so he could concentrate on his (fake) wrestling. Now realizing that WWE sucks more than Paris Hilton, he beats the crap out of his replacement, Johnny Cage (he used fake moves, but he still beat the crap out of him) to take his part in the tournament.
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Sub_ZER0
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 •06/27/2004 02:05 AM (UTC) •
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OHHH thats who ben is
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ErmacMk5
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 •06/27/2004 02:13 AM (UTC) •
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I have some fake pics of them.. PM me if you want to chat on AIM or MSN and I'll send them to you smile
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Oravear
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 •06/27/2004 02:25 AM (UTC) •
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Stryker- After being humilated by his outfit he wore during his battle he seeked out ed boon. After finding mr.boon he asked him why did he get just a ridiculous story and outfit. Ed simply said "its because I hate you."

Nightwolf- After coming home from protecting his lands nightwolf sued the national government for 12083029 acres of land that he claims were stolen from him when the white man traveled to america. Nightwolf was awared with 12 more acres in gratitude for defening the earth
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