my grandfather wound up dying about 6 hours after i got there.

i got there at 1 and left at 630, and 15 minutes after i left he died.

let me just pass along a life altering lesson ive learned today, no more then a hour after i was there and seeing him/someone near death for the first time in my life

never forget what i tell you right now....

death is a peaceful expierience, as long as you die naturally and are comfortable with people who love you around, in a nice hospital with good doctors/staff etc etc
death happens so fast
just like that, and its over
it cannot be anymore peaceful then that
death is just a part of life, never forget these words



my grandfather may have died, but i feel like ive been reborn.

but for now, i will grieve, its going to be a long process i wont get into. Jago knows or whatever, but im not going to get into it because im tired and need some sleep desperatly.

what a amazing day today was, while im upset my grandfather died. i saw how peaceful he was, and was able to accept it as a part of life, it was that peaceful. i look at life totally different from this expierience. my friends, cherish every minute on this earth and make the most out of it.

see you when i see you

William Dennis
R.I.P April 10th, 2008

what a sad day.. and if you guys can believe this... its my mothers birthday tommorow. and so the long process begins....

peace,love,respect

-Check

I feel sorry and I am happy for you at the same time. It also inspires me a little, thank you for the great combo's and great posts.

Good luck to you.

Was your grandfather religious in any way?

Check your PM, J.

sorry to hear about your grandpa but glad to know you have witnessed such a sad tragedy and gained hella positive outlook on life.
your attitude is very inspiring to me...
the vids chuppy @ my work compy but it looks deadly as always.

np, and thanks

he wasnt overly religious, just a normal man. with a good heart, and a great family.

his legacy will live on through me and everyone else, i am sure i will learn many more lessons in the near future.

i will also go through this expierience many more times. my biggest problem is im a sensitive person so things bother me longer then they should.

anyway, sorry i havent gotten back to you, i really have had no will to talk about anything other then my grandfather/family for the time being

thanks again RoGe/iori

that was great man, your friendship remains an important factor in my life.

ill speak to you soon on AIM, hopefully

take care vlad

thanks buddy, its all good. it has been a blessing to be able to control my emotions as well as i have. i mean... the last death i knew was my cat marshmellow, who died about 5 years back. and i str8 up balled on the floor crying for hours afterwards etc. big difference.

i let out a few controllable tears today while talking to other family members who just found out and wanted to also offer me their condolence.

in short: the entire situation has taught me to be strong, ive seen my fair share in life, but there are things like this that i havent, and i handled it well. i constantly think about it ( have been for the last 2 weeks ) and still do. but thats ok, that just helps me figure stuff out for myself. no different then when i saw him yesterday.

in closing: i will say this... if you read the first thing that i said. it was that i was there for 6 hours by his side, holding his hand, etc.

in my heart of hearts, i did not think this man would die, thats just what my heart told me when i walked in there. and i got a call around 1130 in the morning yesterday telling me to get ready asap and get over to the hospital because your grandfather has about a hour to live. but yet, when i saw him, i knew it wasnt his time yet.

i sat there with him for 6 hours. i seen some shit over there that made me 50 50 the whole situation. after something happened. i pretty much changed my mind. but to stay strong and keep faith, i stuck by my initial instinct that he would live.. for now.

i did not want to see that man die while i was there is my point. i wanted to be there for as long as possible that he was alive.

there was no telling how long he would stay alive after they excubated him. it could be 10 minutes or days.

but he died 15 minutes after i left. i felt bad, but at the same time. i do not want to see someone i love in their death.

and apparently i got my wish.

let me just also note that i was the only family member who said he would live more then a hour, and he wound up living 6 more.

this whole expierience has been inspiring, im glad it has inspired you. the combo or whatever is not that important to me right now and i dont know if it ever will be, but by all means, please check it out. it was recorded during these last 2 weeks with my grandfather all on my mind.

and next week, i travel up to New Jersey ( i live in florida ) for a trip that was, believe it or not, made so i can see my grandparents ( my fathers side ) most likely for the last time, unless i can get up there more often. first time in 5 years that ive been there/home/where i grew up

my friends, thank you for your sympathies thus far. its one of those things that i got to tell you guys means SO MUCH. i hope god blesses you i will ask him to like i always do for those whove showed care.

peace out

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. My grandmother died about six years back and the experience was dreadful. It wasn't easy to be a pal bearer, but I got through it and it did make me a stronger person.

I don't think it was a coincidence that he hung on for the time you were there. I'm sure in a way he could sense your love and wasn't ready to let go.

Once again, my condolences to you.

Hang in there bro....

Peace....Laser

laser, thanks man. i appreciate it. ive had alot on my mind these past 2 months and morely on these past 2 weeks, and even more in these past 2 days. quite simply, im mentally tired from the whole thing. not to mention theres drama with the family now because of when i left, them saying " oh you should of been here when he died " yea right, like i want to see my grandfather die? have a little compassion for those who are sensitive towards that kind of thing. i didnt even want to look at him when i got there.


so basically everything has gone from him to that now. stupid bullshit drama. but i will go pay my respect to my grandfathers legacy and be no different then ive been my whole life: straight up, no bullshit., and the best that i know how to be.

hearing your loss, is very heartfelt. i most definitly appreciate your honesty and compassion. it is real, and i most appreciate it. your expierience was just that, dreadful. im glad it made you a stronger person. having your family around should help ease the pain. but i give you the upmost respect for playing such an important role at her ceremony.

no, there was no way of knowing when he would die. i left there with the impression that i would be coming back the next day. but its just important to me that i didnt have to see him die, and my last memory of him was of him alive. its a open casket, but i have no intention of looking at him. those images are too hard to get out of my head. its better off the way it happened. thats all laser.

once again, i appreciate your honesty. your almost like a brother to me. trust me bro, one day we'll get together when the time is right.

much respect, laser. thanks again

peace

I'm happy that you feel reborn, but I am sorry about your grandfather.

I hope you take his passing as a realization of how fast we come and go and really try and do something great with your mind outside of just games ya know, but I told you about this years before your grandfather passed.

Keep your head up and do something big. You def have a great mind.

My condolences goes to you Check, good to see you feel more relaxed about life, and nice talk on Aim.

Hey Check, I only just heard about your Grandpa. My condolences bro!

---------------------
Life never dies, it just evolves and ascends into different form of existence. It is the acceptance of our journey and fate that makes one realize that death is just as important as birth.

Peace

Damn CHECK, I feel sorry for you man, the death is a fuckinnn weird thing, its good n bad! ......

I hope you feel good now !

BTW

thanks for another crazy combo without the use of Air Canceling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i know chris, i really appreciate your support. i hope you understand though thats just how i am about things i dedicate myself to. they are phases, nothing more. i go in and out of things, but my problem is i get too obsessed with them.

i know where youre coming from. more or less, my mind right now is focused on this new found grace and harnessing it. ive been getting in touch with basically everyone i knew back in NJ, philly, you name it. i talked to Amy for like 2 and a half hours yesterday. you know the last time i did that? prolly about 4 years ago. i let her know about mk, and everything in general, my dude.

i dont know what it is exactly that is going on, but its something.

games... games are the furthest thing from my mind right now. i havent played a game in almost a week and really dont have any intention to probably till im up in NJ next week, even though in my mind, the moment i play a game i will start to lose my focus again. things will work out down the road. but for a while its going to be like this.

ill talk to you on AIM before i leave thursday.

one thing i know about my grandfather is he loved his wife, and there were times i would get up in the middle of the night and hear him crying her name. it was the most sad thing i ever heard. now he is with her, in a better place. i know the universe is balancing itself out. its just the impact this mans death has had is so unique, i cant describe it. all i can tell you is, it feels like i went from being a child to being a man. ill explain on aim tommorow when i get home. it will be a good day to talk. its been a while, anyway

thanks again chris. please say a prayer for me when you get a chance. and my family too,.. please.

yes man, that is a good way of looking at it. but the better word/s to describe how i feel is "at peace" i feel an overwhelming sense of peace. but alot of distraught over my family problems that have arrised out of cause of this.

i really hope that gets worked out. things arent very good right now. im more or less just trying to be there for my loved ones who are going through it. im just caught in the middle of all of it. as ive basically been my entire life.

anyway, thanks alot glen. and i hope you check out the combo too. it would mean alot to me.

yes, thanks for being there when i got home. i believe you being there was for a reason. youre a great friend, and i hope down the road when i come to visit my friend in LA. we will meet up. like i told you, i talked to her, and we are definitly going to meet up this summer.

later man

sup trax. its good to see you found your way here. i was hoping you would. im glad you did.

thanks for your love and support. it adds to everyone elses into one big mass prayer. let me tell you, i feel all of your love with me, i cannot thank you enough for your heartfeltness. all of you. and believe me when i tell you, mass prayer works, and saved my life at one point and blessed me to the point where i was fortunate to not even remember the accident i was in. which left me in a coma for 2 weeks, among other injurys.

i agree with what you said. but i feel we are born again in this same evolution of life. as long as the earth is still revolving around the sun. the circle of life will continue. ive had other thoughts lately. but now is not the time to be discussing it.

i believe for some people ( i wont get into the specifics ), everything happens for a reason. i think when you are true to yourself/everyone you will follow the road that was meant to be traveled and gain as much knowledge, wisdom/understanding and expierience along the way. i feel what i have gained through my grandfathers expierience is peace. peace with myself, peace with what happened, just overall peace in general.

i thank you for your great post. that was the first time i read anything like that since what happened. you always know how to hit home with me, trax. thanks for being part of the expierience. i will never forget you.

No doubt dude.


and about the video, what can i say man, simply amaizing, 3 thumbs up.


^ is that possible ?

hey wiid.

i feel good. i mean its been weird because i have been anticipating it for a few weeks now... obviously things arent the same as before he passed. its just a little odd how it happened, and its going to be a while before i can shake it. having my friends here to talk to, and everyone else has been such an importance. i really did not think this would happen like this. but it is my destiny. i realize that now. and everything that happens to me. you name it. whether its mk, music, life in general. it doesnt matter.

what matters now is taking this entire situation. ( which includes now as we speak ) till whenever it completes its circle.to not forget it, but also, not let it effect the things i love, and enjoy. just with a better understanding of it which i have gained thru this incredible expierience. which you and everyone else is a part of. and have, and will more then likely, see alot of good come your way as a result of your good karma.

continue to be real, and you will see reality the way it was meant to be.

thanks as always wiido. i know you will be my friend for a long time. i hope we get to meet each other one day.
__________________________________________

goodnight everyone, today is a day of mourning. this ceremony is also a first for me. more or less a continuation of the process i shall receive of more enlightenment of peace and prosperity.

much love out to everyone, you will be in my thoughts later.

thank you glen, i see you got my PM. i appreciate the comment on youtube bro! you are too good! ; )

3 thumbs? lol, its all good, maybe if you borrow your friends thumb for a second ; )

thanks again man, just know why i wanted you to comment on that particular combo.

ill never forget this thread guys. thank you so much, you have been the biggest help thus far and you all need to know the importance you played in someones life and why you should all expect good things in your future. i will try and remember everyone, obviously right now is not a good time for me. but Amir, Wiidoshi, Laser, Mario, Glen, Chris, Trax off the top of my head im sorry if i left anyone out atm. then of course everyone else not in this thread: Gexx, Groy, Jago, Hanzo who have been nice enough to send their condolence. again, sorry if i left you out. thanks again for everything.

Im sorry for what happen to ur grandfather

that video gets my worst rating ever, 7 thumbs up. (simpson quote, please don't get mad at J) LOL

good karma!!!!



BTW

deep post man, I see the light!

yo man, no problem. the important part is his life ultimatly has effected the majority of our family. it was so nice to see almost everyone together today at his wake.

problems i talked about were worked out. they werent even problems. obviously anyone could of realized that.

things are good, all is well, tommorow is another day. but today was magical, what a magical day. thats all i can say.

big up to my boy jay kucine ( IndridCold99 on MKO ), who actually gave me a call as soon as i stepped into the car after the ceremony. what a nice guy he is. for real.

anyway, give me some time to reply to your PM. i greatly acknowledge your compassion. it is well noted in times like this.

thank you once again chaos.

lol, the fire still burns..... ; )

well... maybe not anymore, but that combo was a nice way to end it all.

thanks Amir, speak to you soon,