The subject has a double meaning. First of all, I need to vent so I'm about to start bitching. Second of all, it's about a complete bitch that I wish I had never met.

I don't like doing this, but this is pretty much the only place where I can ramble and everybody either offers advice or just ignores me, either way works.

As most of you would know by now, I recently became the father to a baby boy named Lochlan. Everything seemed like it was going to be fine, I even thought Amanda (his mother, my ex) had grown up and was going to be reasonable. But I was an idiot for thinking that selfish bitch would ever do the right thing, I'm now convinced there's no helping that girl.

I still haven't even seen my son because of her, and here's the catch I just found out about a few days ago - Her parents wont let me go anywhere near their house, they hate me due to all the bullshit Amanda has spread about me. They naturally believe their daughter about everything she has said, even though it is all horribly untrue and common sense should tell them she's lying. To make things worse, I also found out that Amanda wont come to my house with my son either because she obviously has to make sure her lies aren't made obvious. Meaning the only way for me to see my son currently is in a public fucking place.

And to top it off, I'm now certain she has my number blocked on her phone. She's trying to palm it off as me not getting in contact with her to her family/friends who are too fucking stupid to realise how fucked up in the head this girl really is. Everybody besides my own friends and family thinks I'm not making an effort and don't want anything to do with my kid, all because Amanda is sick enough to have figured out how to make me look like a horrible person/father and make herself look like the poor innocent teen mother that she sure like hell isn't.

She said she was fine with me seeing my son whenever I wanted, she just left out all of the catches and traps she has set up for me to fall right into.

Words can not describe how pissed off I am at the moment over this, it's taking every last shred of control I have left in my body not to go over to her house and cripple anybody dumb enough to get in my way... Knowing Amanda though, she's fucked up enough to want that reaction out of me, I'm sure if her family getting hurt makes her look more innocent, she'd be happy to see them hurt.

Most of all I'm just worried about my son, how the hell is he going to grow up right with a mother like Amanda in a house full of people who are all sick in the head and stupidly gullable?

I was hoping it wouldn't come to this, but she has pushed me way too far now and I'm going to take her to court and try to get full custody, or atleast joint custody. Even though I don't know if I'm capable of raising my son on my own, I'd rather take the chance than see how he turns out if he gets stuck with her for the majority of his childhood. All of her lies are going to catch up with her when I get her to court, I have plenty of people who can disprove a majority of the things she has said about me and it will be very obvious how many lies she has told when the time comes.

Untill then though, I can't even see my fucking son because of this bitch...