"I find the most erotic part of a woman to be the boo..." Zapp

"I may not know about horses, but I know a lot about doing anything for one dollar!" Fry

"Ladies, we need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised." Zapp

"Ah, she's built like a steakhouse, but she handles like a bistro." Zapp

"I'm catchin the first pimpmobile outta here." Bender

"Dewey you fool, you're decimal system has played right into my hands." Brain

"The secret ingredient is water, ordinary water! Laced with no more than a few drops of LSD." Professor

"PROFESSOR...LAVA....HOT!" Professor

"You know what makes the special sauce so special...yo." Fry's parasite

"Bender should not be on television!" Bender

"Party on contest winner." Slurms McKenzie.

I suffer from a very sexual learning disability, what do I call it kif?

*sigh* ...Sexlexia

"Look at me! I'm Doctor Zoidberg, Homeowner!"
-Zoidberg

"Woop Woop Woop Woop Woop"
-Zoidberg

Anything involving "my kajigger".

"Start with a compliment. Tell her she looks thin."

"You seem malnourished, are you suffering from internal parasites?"

"Why yes, thanks for noticing."

"All this exposure to radiation is making me thirsty." Fry

"Shut up baby I know it!" Bender

"Listen, this is Bender's first meal and he's a little sensitive. So let's be supportive okay? *Eats food* OH DEAR GOD!!" Leela

"Good news everyone!" Professor

"No world, you put YOUR hands up! Pew pew pew" Zoidberg

"What the schmell happened?" Amy

*Laughing* "Oh god you're killing me. OH GOD YOU'RE KILLING ME!" Zapp

"If you want a box hurled into the sun, you've got to do it yourself." Hermes

"Pardon my language, but you have ruffled my pettycoats for the last time!" Kif

Also,

"Fox News Everyone!"
-Farnsworth

"Who likes good news? Everyone? Then Good News Everyone!"
-Farnsworth

Morbo: "Our top story, all alcohol on Earth has mysteriously disappeared. Consequences are minimal, except among the most hardened alcoholics. Linda?"

Linda: "I can no longer face my children! "

"I AM DESTRUCTOR!!! BLAGHLAGHLAGHLAGHLAGHLAGHAGHA"

"see you at the fight"

"& then I said..."see you at the fight""

"Fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it.....fix it, fix it!" - Fry

"Ha, ha HAAAA! Ha HAAAA!" - Stabbing Robot

"Time to get jolly on your naughty asses." - Santa

"Oh yezzzzz!" Prof. Farnsworth

"My manwich!" - Hermes

"Hahahahahaaa! I, the big brain am winning again! Now I will leave this planet for no raisin!" - Big Brain

There are more, but I haven't seen the show in awhile.

Ah... more

"That's not back bacon, that's your BACK BAKIN'!"
-LaBarbara

"Astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all"
"Oh, what's it called now?"
"Urectum!"
-Farnsworth and Fry

"Oh god you're alive! I mean Thank God you're alive!"
-Farnsworth

"With my last breath, I curse Zoidberg!"
-Farnsworth

"You call that an Ink Defense?"
-Zoidberg

NO GOOD IT'S FULL OF STEAM

Reading this out loud made me fucking die of laughter.

Bender: I can't stay mad at what is essentially me!

*Leela and Fry watching a 3D movie with 50's-style glasses*
Fry: Wow, these 3D glasses are great!
Leela: Mine aren't working!

Hippie: Look, we taught a lion how to eat tofu! *camera cuts to sickly, mangy, lion who starts coughing *

Leela: They [ co-workers] are not evil! Don't be fooled, though, they are jerks.

Lrrr: I AM LRRR, RULER OF OMICRON PERSEI 8! Can I crash on your sofa?

Morbo: Kittens give Morbo gas.

Linda: Hi! Some bad things happened today. One bad thing was some trains got crashed.
Morbo: Morbo forgets how to say the letter that looks like a man with a little hat.
Linda: It's a T. It goes ttt-ttt.
Morbo: Hello, little man. I will destroy you!

This is the look on my face after I read that:

Professor: I can finally leave my jigsaw puzzles around without Fry eating the pieces!

Love those, especially I'm Dr. Zoidberg, HOME OWNER!

Then his house burns down, Hermes was like, that raises a number of questions.

Bender picks up cigar: There's where I left that. *continues smoking underwater*

Hermes: That just raises further questions!!


Zoidberg peeks out of seashell: Bender ol buddy, you mind helping me move a couch?

Bender: OK, but I'm not moving it up any stairs!


Calculon: I've always said many things...


Monique: Calculon?! I thought you were...

Calculon cuts her off: EGYPTIAN?!


Cops: Attention, criminal robot in the building! Come out with your hands up!

Bender: NEVER!

Cops: Uh, other guy.


Osiran High Priest: The prophecy is strange... and crudely drawn at best. It indicates that, we are "here" and our next Pharaoh is over there, near some ... tents.

Bender: Those are waves, jackass. It's supposed to be a river!

Bender: Behold! I have emerged from the place of spells and fairies! *jazz hands*

Roberto: I was built by a team of scientists, trying to create an insane robot... but it looks like, they failed!


Roberto: HA Haaaa!! *stabbin*


Roberto: Well, looks like ol' Roberto's the focus of attention now! [pause] STOP LOOKING AT ME! Ah, ha-HAA!


Roberto: Back off, I've got hostages!

Dr. Zoidberg: Hooray, I'm helping!

Smitty: Do you have any better hostages?


Blinking Galaxy: When you do things right, people wont be sre you've done anything at all...



Ka-Tra

At the risk of being lame, pretty much every quote from Futurama is my favourite.

Well it does have great wordplay.

That is one of my favorite, lol. I couldn't remember that cop's name.

Zoidberg: I'm John [bleeping] Zoidberg!

Mom: Jam a bastard in it, you crap! [Slaps her sons].

Mom: I have to attend a charity thing for knocked-up teenage sluts.

Son: Someday, I want to marry a girl like her.

Hermes: Someone's been leaving food out and it's attracting owls. Computer: There is a rectangular mass in your colon. Hermes:It's my calculator. I ate it to gain its powers.

At the risk of agreeing with you, I concur.



Yeah, the cops' names are Smitty, and URL (pronounced Earl)



Ka-Tra

Fry; Shut up and take my money!

Bender (Gold); ...we're doomed!
Both Benders; DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

Leela; I have to drive. I'll take your smallest whiskey.
Angus; One aquarium whiskey for the busty lass!

URL: Better do what he says. He's a WHALE BIOLOGIST.

Farnsworth - "To shreds you say..."

BWAHAHAHA!

All scary door skits.

Professor Farnsworth: "You're ugly!"