this year... i went out with a really popular girl who wasnt that good looking... she loved me and i wanted to be popular.... i fell hard and she broke up with me... now i'm a social outcast missing her sooo much... i dont know what to do anymore

I got beat up by a police officer so fuck the police!!

Due to constant battles with frustration over most everything, I find it hard to find any motivation to do the things I used to love doing, or pretty much anything else for that matter. It causes me to give up too easily on most things.

I'm slowly becoming a hermit because of it.

I'm just the typical teen with the typical tickets needing payment.

Just hd a rough week mentally. Last friday got int a fight with this kid in the mall, I did win though. Last Saturday had SAT's and got me mad. Last Sunday, fought ith my mom. Monday fought with her again. Wednesday had my drivers test, which made me nervous. Then on thursday had my lifeguard test wear me down physically. Then over the weekend, my girlfriend got grounded and her parents wouldn't let me take her out.

Well, nothing in my life is really all that stressful. Except that I like 2 girls at the same time and its driving me nuts. Plus I've always had horrid complications with my Lord of the Rings: Return of the King GBA game. It'll make me insane sooner or later. Nova, I need that "Understanding Women" knowledge you told us about in early last August, now more than ever.

In the past few months I've been screwed over twice by two-faced girls who pretended they were my friends, that always sucks.

Also, just having to constantly hear my dad's right-wing propaganda rants a few times a week pisses me off severely.

Hehe, I was going to post my mental spew here but I did that in Ermackdaddy's post about learning about other members here. I'll just say this:

My life sucks, it used to be good, and I don't know how to fix it.

Well, let's see... I gave up on college because school is not for me, so now I get to pay back all the classes I failed. My "girlfriend" doesn't want to commit to anything even though we've been dating since January, not to mention she gave us both a STD scare last month. I've had a steady stream of financial troubles since last year. I'm gonna have to Ebay everything pre-Dreamcast era to get the cash to pay for things like car repairs and crap. I need some cash to find an apartment soon, cuz the parents aren't going to let me stay here if I'm no longer going to school. All my freinds turned from geeky gamers like me into stupid fuckhead drugged out stoners I hate. My "band" turned from a band into a solo project with me playing all the instruments. After I get this CD done I don't know if I can get signed or get any funding from a record label to do it as a living. No matter how much I drink, I can't seem to build up a decent tolerance to any alchohol. Two beers and I'm gone. I'm really self-concious of the way I act now because I keep having people mistake me for gay because "I keep giving off gay manerisms" that I'm not even aware of. I'm still not totally over the heartbreak from a girlfriend from over two years ago.

...Life sucks right now, but it gets better so I'm not letting it all get to me. Just experiences to learn and stories to tell for later.

im trying to cope with the fact that earth is hell, makes no sence, the bad people giving blow jobs(underage i mean the 13 - 17 age group) and killing each other out number everything, realising that nothing makes sence, most people deserve to die ect.

Well, I'm unemployed, have been for the last 3 years, my Grandfather passed away last month, and other than that, life is just peachy keen!

I just noticed something nova, heh, our topics are very similar in context, and yours did come before mine, and for that I apologize. i probably shoud have paid closer attention to the other topics before posting mine, and if the mods read this, the dragon points I recieved really should be credited to nova, as clearly this was her idea first. Don't hate me Nova... heh, one of these days I'll be unbanned and I can rejoin yall in chat.

Oh, I've done plenty of that already... More wont hurt though.

In the last year - I hooked up with a girl who's nickname was "Chopper" because she stabbed an exboyfriend for cheating (didn't kill him, just stabbed him), that already should've told me to keep the hell away from that fruitcake, but bleh. Things started well enough, too well actually (she's 8-9 months pregnant now and we hooked up 8-9 months ago, that should say it all). After a few months she cut me off nearly completely (right after telling me she was pregnant), I saw her only 3 times in the last month of our relationship. That last month or so was spent constantly arguing over the phone, she wouldn't even see me in person to try and sort out our problems. Then she dropped the truth in my lap out of nowhere - She never cared about me, only used me to get over her last ex, and had no intention of staying with me despite how many times she said otherwise. I hung up the phone that day (yes, I got dumped over the phone by my pregnant girlfriend) and have been very cynical, pissed off and untrusting ever since. As cliche as it may sound, whatever trust I had left going into that relationship was shattered by the end of it. Now that I've had somebody be intimate with me, look me in the eyes and say "I love you", only to find out the whole time I was played for a fool... That did no good at all for my already very shaky trust in relationships. I feel sorry for my next girlfriend, no matter how perfect she is, it'll take years before I can even look her in the eyes and maybe believe her when she says "I love you".

Rambling again... I'll shorten the rest - She has been spreading rumours making everybody think I treated her like shit, that I call and abuse her constantly since we broke up, that I want nothing to do with my son and that I'm leaving it all up to her. Complete BS of course, but what can you do? And here we are now, a few weeks (maybe even days) off when our child is due, she still hasn't spoken a word to me since we broke up and wont return my calls (she knows I caught her lying and she has no way to lie her way out of this one, she's too much of a coward to even talk to me because she knows how pissed off I am). So here I am now with my son due any moment, and his mother is acting like an immature 13 year idiot and is doing everything she can to ruin my life. The bit that bothers me the most though, everybody except for my own friends believes her and not me. She's low enough to play the "poor pregnant single teen mother" act when she was the one who ended it and treated me like shit, when she told me she was pregnant I took ahold of her hands, looked her in the eyes and told her I'd be there for her no matter what happens, and this is how I get repayed for trying to do the right thing. She not only left me for dead, she used our own child as a tool to gain sympathy for stuff that never happened outside of her fucked up head and make people hate me. I never thought I would meet somebody low enough to use her child to not only gain sympathy, but try to destroy the only father the child will ever have. And ontop of that, she even used the way I look against me. She knew nobody would believe somebody "like me" over little miss perfect Amanda who was so badly mistreated and is a victim in all of this... Bullshit to that, I don't understand how anybody could be so damned selfish and self centered that they'd fuck over their own child just to get back at an ex who did absolutely nothing wrong. The sad part is even after all of the shit she has put me through, I would still be prepared to treat her with respect infront of our child for his sake. Her though, she'd prefer to keep turning people against me to make her look like the innocent one, probably including our son if she gets even half the chance to do it.

My only consellation, the only thing really keeping me going right now, is the fact that even though my son isn't born yet he means the world to me. I can't let him get brainwashed and grow up to be a deceitful sack of shit like his mother who will probably end up getting a girl pregnant young then ditching her in a heartbeat when things get tough... I can't let my son turn out anything like his mother, and untill I see in him a decent human being with good morals, I wont break and give up like Amanda is trying so hard to make me do. Instead I'm going to be the best father I can, and when my son turns out to be a decent human being, every sleepless night I've spent freaking out and worrying leading up to now will all be worth it.

OK... Sorry about that, I know I said no more long rambling post's but I really needed to get all of that out of my system. Again, sorry. None of you needed to or wanted to hear any of that, but if I didn't get that out in the open I would've gone insane.

I don't even give a shit if anybody bothers to read this, simply writing it down got it off my chest for the moment.

And a ton of advice directed at nobody in particular/anybody who wants it - Don't waste your time worrying about pety crap like being dumped after a 3 week relationship or being played for a fool. It happens, and as you move through life you'll find it happens time and time again. Same situation, just a different face infront of the problems. I started younger than most people, I was in my first serious (as in intimate, not some school crush) relationship by just on 14. I may only be 20 but I've seen and been through more shit than most people twice my age, so take this advice seriously, I do know what I'm talking about.

After this last year I'm looking back at all the times I used to get cut up over silly things like I mentioned above, you guys know all about that because some of you have been hearing my whining for 4 or 5 years now. Looking back on all the days I wasted feeling sorry for myself over shit like that makes me feel like a complete idiot. It wasn't untill I was put in a much worse and life changing situation like now that I realised life is way too short to waste on pety shit. I wasted half of my teen years being depressed and moody, figured I'd have plenty of time to have fun later. Wrong, things don't always go according to plan. Now it's too late for me to have that fun I should've had when I was younger because I have the biggest responsibility in the world now, a child.

What's my point? Don't end up like that, don't waste your young life cut up over shit that you know damned well isn't going to matter in the grand scheme of things (or in 3 months, for that matter). If you get dumped after 3 weeks, get the hell over it. Don't sit around moping for months, get off your arse and do what you want to do with your life (if I had that advice years ago, I'd probably already be in a succesful signed band, rather than just getting there now). Because you're going to feel like the biggest idiot when you really have a problem to worry about and realise all the crap that used to matter is nothing but trivial. I wasted countless months, probably years whinging and worrying about stuff that now seems far beyond stupid and meaningless. Those months or years could've been better much better spent, don't wait untill it's too late to realize that. I did, and trust me, it isn't a fun place to be.

I don't mean to come across as condescending, although it may seem that way. I would honestly rather not have to be giving advice to people in a few years time when they're stuck where I am right now. Don't make a huge problem out of something that isn't going to matter in a few months, you might not realize it now but time creeps up on you very quickly (my 17th birthday feels like it was yesterday, I'm 20 now) and before you know it you're not in a position to do the things you wanted to do because you spent more time feeling sorry for yourself than you did trying to actually fix the problems in your life or working towards your goals.

Sorry for such long post's, I just felt like I had to say that crap. Everybody knows the saying "Life's too short", but a majority of people don't even think about. Well, try thinking about it, and figure out whether what you're worrying about is worth wasting what are meant to be the most fun years of your life.

Hmm, what subject should I touch upon: job problems, girl problems, or my possible shitty summer coming up, ehh I'll give a bit on all three:

Girl Problems
Ok I covered quite a bit of this in the "Bad Boy" thread but here's the story, clarified. Beginning to end. Back in September during my first semester of college I met this girl that at first I just considered a really cool friend. Now from September to December I started to develoup a physical attration to her. As I got to know her better I realized this girl was amazing; great personality, easy to talk to, and had one of those smiles that could melt even the coldest heart. As I got to know her though I started thinking "hey, she could be the one for me" so I figured I'd ask her out before the semester wrapped up, but I never got the perfect chance I was hoping for, and the semester wrapped up before I really got a chance to talk to her again. When the second semester started in January I was hoping to have her in one of my classes again, but no luck. About 3 and a half months passed before I saw her again on campus along with this other girl that I was friends with. Now it had been almost 5 months since I have seen or her from her and a lot of those feelings I had faded away up until that day. That day we all got to talking and I learned that she just broke up with her boyfriend, and what's worse is she had already set it up to go back to Penn State to get closer to him and their friends. Now she's stuck going to school where she is definatly going to have to confront him and her old friends who've pretty much turned on her. I don't know if it was her story or my old feelings for her coming back, but I almost asked her out right then and there; and then my dumbass asked the question that haunts me to this day. "Why do you (females in general) fall for guys who you know will treat you like crap, don't care about how you feel, and will eventually cheat on you?" Their combined responses were "Because it's a challenge to get the guy who will ignore you. If he breaks, or becomes like a slave there is no fun, and things get boring." I should have stopped there but I continued with "Well what you're saying is that you would rather be with a guy who will treat you like dirt, than with a guy who is willing to care for you and loves you, but is also able to maintain himself?" And the answer I got cut threw me like a knife "The second doesn't exsist." She followed it up with something like "You're a nice guy, but guys like you are very rare." But I think that was just to try and cover up for what she just said. Since then I've talked to them both, and I still hang out with them both; hell I've even taken her out to just grab a bite where we joked about being together (which inturn hurt even more at the end of the day). Now there's only a week left of class, and after that she's going to leave, not knowing how I really feel.....Wow that was longer than I thought, and writing it ALL out does make me feel a bit better.

Job Problems
Well latley I've been running low on cash, and it's time for my ass to get a job soon. I havn't worked since I quit/got fired from my last job a my local Quickchek January 2003. It's been over a year since I've worked and my choices are limited due to my appearance (long hair, red goatee, long sideburns). A lot of people around are going through the same problems: My sis, her boyfriend, my two cousins whose job just closed, and a handful of my friends. Every place nearby that would be willing to have me work for them is either not hiring at the moment, or is just something I would never subjegate myself to doing. I'm going to start looking for a job in nearby towns, but the farther I go the more I'd have to pay to get to and from work, to the point where half the paycheck would go to pay for parking and tolls. So until so job managers to open up nearby, I'm strapped for cash.

Possible Shitty Summer
Well since I got back from Spain last summer all I've been thinking about since then (aside from the past two stories) is going back. Going there always helped me clear my head out and relax. I'm able to see things clearly out there. Unfortunatly my chances of going this year look bleak. My grandmother (whose house I'd be staying at if I do go) refuses to let me stay there because of my appearance. Of all people, my own grandmother shuns me. She wants me to shave and get a haircut to "Look like all of the 'normal' people". She doesn't understand that I like my hair and facial hair. She says she's ashamed of me even being there looking the way I do, because of what other people may say about me, or God forbid, her. Plus there is also the fact that even though I'm 19 years old I have never (sadly) traveled anywhere alone, away from my parents. and since they don't want to go, they don't want me going alone. Then throw in stupid excuses about my "poor" eating habbits (this coming from people who are more unhealthy than me) and that pretty much wraps it up. Also, this coming June I've been hoping to go to an Anime Convention, but now that is even looking questionable. At first it was going to be me and five other people, now its down to me and two others. Throw in my money/job situation from the previous story(one that my two other friends are having) and that sums that up. What sucks is I've been waiting to go since January and I've already invested over $100 to simple get ready to go (cosplay items), and to not go know would really prove to be a waste.

Wow this has to be my longest post ever. My neck has gone stiff and my hands are all cramped, but I do feel a little better.

hmmm lets see:

Spent 5 yrs in college studying computers (programming etc.) and I'm probably not going to get a job. The reason I spent 5 yrs is cos I got my degree after 4, started looking for a job, couldn't get one so I've gone back for another year. It'll soon be over thank G. So still no sign of a job. Might have to emigrate to get one or something.

Other than that, I'm too busy (and poor) with college to go out.

skeletonofsociety Wrote: She followed it up with something like "You're a nice guy, but guys like you are very rare." font>

Umm....correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that supposed to be a GOOD thing??? I swear, she's just like the girls at my school, always falling for the piece of crap who'll treat her like crap. I swear to God, if I someone treat one of the girls I care about in a friendly or otherwise menu, I would grill him so hard, his nose will bleed(inspiration from Red)! And shove my foot so hard up his butt, the front of my foot will show out the other end!

Kahn91 Wrote: skeletonofsociety Wrote: She followed it up with something like "You're a nice guy, but guys like you are very rare." font> Umm....correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that supposed to be a GOOD thing???

It's the way it was delivered. I took it for what it was worth, but it was one of those awkward moments.

...well, lets see, i've been dumped 11 times... and my last g/f [number 12] lied, cheated, and... well, everything BAD a girl CAN do... so my hearts pretty much dead... and my whole family treats me liek a baby [since im the youngest] and treat me as if i can not do anything on my own, or wil lever amount to anything, so i hate everyone in my family, and i lock myself up in my room pretty much, becoming a hermit... that depressing enough for you?

I came into this topic expecting to take a red pill, but this is even better.

OK..where should I start?

I have not had a steady girlfriend in three years. And even then, it was three months, my longest relationship ever. I've had sex twice in my life, and I was used the second time around for a one-night stand by a girl I felt genuinely attracted to. That was two years ago. Apart from several introductions at bars via friends, which failed miserably, I have been single since then.

I was expelled from college due to the fact that I failed too many couses. It was just as well considering that I felt that I was wasting my time there, but I only had 4 classes left to pass. So now I'm attempting to find a decent school of theatre so I can pursue my dream - acting. And a decent theatre school is hard to find, and usually rather expensive. To top that off, acting is not the most stable of careers, so it's going to be a long, shitty road to security for me.

My mother, who I live with, is unstable at times, suffering from violent mood swings. I share a residence with her, and my half-sister, who is EXTREMELY mentally unstable, having the intellect of a 6-year old. I am what is keeping this household together. That, and my mother's welfare checks, which I am not proud that she recieves (she has no choice however, she cannot work due to a back injury).

I am at the moment unemployed, although I may have found a nice little job for the summer paying 9 bucks an hour, so that's a plus. It's a step up over my last minimum wage job at a video store.

I'm out of Pepsi, and down to four cigarettes.

My father has acute emphysema, and has been in and out of the hospital twice this year, due to a lifetime of smoking (and now I am too, ha-ha). Barring a miraculous recovery, I do not expect him to survive the year.

A lifetime's worth of depresion, malaise, loneliness, and familial insecurities have rendered me a constantly depressed Goth smoker who suffers from severe stomach cramps at least once a week. I'm beginning to wonder if it's not an ulcer, or something similar.

On top of that, I have $10 in my bank account. I still have $250 to pay on a guitar, and Transformers Season 4 is out now on DVD.

And there's still no Deception Smoke pic yet. Goddamn it.

a few years back someone told this guy i was hitting on his girlfriend(he was a Junior i was a freshman) and tried to kick my ass but i won and found the guy who told him that(found out it was my bestfriend) still dont know y he told him that but i didnt fight him because he was a little bitch.

i am so mature now