Something I've learned-take general advice, but don't take your gut feeling for granted. Also, if you're a straight male with platonic female friends, take their advice on dating with caution.
EASY KILLERS, I KNOW WHAT I JUST SAID.
This isn't me being sexist or trying to undervalue the advice of any woman (icebaby included, good on you girl) but trust me. When it comes to dating, a mature guy friend will probably give you the best advice. Odds are, he is used to dating women. Your platonic female friend isn't. She can give you advice on a woman's attitude, but when it comes to dating trust your bros. I could elaborate further, if requested, but I'll just tell you now that I can't recall a single time when a woman has given me sound advice on scoring other women. She can speak for what she is attracted to, but when it boils down to it, women are different, and she can't speak for all woman's attraction. A MATURE guy who has some dating experience can give you some square advice on how a certain woman may be responding based on what he has experienced in the past.
Anyway, I'll leave that fire pit until I inevitably get dragged back in. Let's go back to that gut feeling I spoke of earlier. Look guys, you know what you want in a girl. Sometimes. Odds are we've all daydreamed about what we would say to a girl if we wanted to ask her out, and in that daydream we are smoother than Slick Rick and Casanova's adopted child. However, especially in early dating, you may find yourself completely dumbstruck around a girl. What should you talk about? What if you look stupid? What if she doesn't like you?
See all those questions I just asked earlier? Fuck them. They're irrelevant. Here are a few handy tips from Dibs, to you.
*Learn confidence. This is crucial. People who act timid, or who consistently self loath are often annoying, and sometimes creepy. Own yourself. People instantly become more attractive when they are pleasing to be around. It's psychological. Just don't be overzealous, or even narcissistic. That's called douchebaggary, and you'll likely end up with a girl who will fuck your best friend and give you herpes. (Protip-this can work for job interviews as well. Take a shot or glass of wine or two before any encounter that involves mingling with people. DON'T GET DRUNK. Alcohol can make you more open and personable with people, even in small amounts. This makes conversing much easier, and you come off as much more fun.)
*Trust your gut. You ever been in a situation where you knew you should have done or said something, but didn't because you thought it was intimidating or it didn't feel right? Stop avoiding those situations, and you will have few regrets. Just do it. Ask her out. Get her number. Tell the dude who is being a prick to her to fuck off. Be a man, like nature intended.
* Be yourself. Look, I know how cliche and stupid this sounds, but it will save you a lot of problems in the long run. It is easier being with a girl who likes you than a girl who likes the guy you're pretending to be. It is also more enjoyable. If she doesn't like you for you, then she isn't worth your time outside of a one night stand. (That is a different tutorial)
*Take care of yourself. Look, we all can't be cut like Hercules or have the looks like Johnny Depp. We can all, however, look presentable. Get some decent clothes. Some nice jeans, a plain or materialistic shirt THAT FITS, a good hairstyle, and good hygiene immediately give you a better chance at success in any aspect of your life, dating or no. Leave the house every day as if you're about to meet the girl of your dreams. Just don't overdo it. Guys who wear tuxedos every day for no reason get made fun of.
*Have something to talk about beforehand. (Also, remember the shot advice from above.) How do you know what to talk about? Take advantage of your setting or situation. You work with her? Ask her about an assignment that is due soon. Be personable. Make small talk about the subject. Ask her how she got started in that field, or any other related question, and see how it builds. She may even help in the conversation if she becomes interested. Then just do what comes natural. Except sexual harassment. That usually doesn't end well.
*Be cool. I don't mean sunglasses at night look at my muscle car cool. I mean don't come off as a blundering idiot. Don't come off as desperate. Girls are people too, and they can get creeped out as well. Just be a person, and be careful not to show an insane amount of interest. When the time comes to ask her out, show interest, but don't be weird about it.
*Become comfortable around women. Meet girls. Talk with them. Meet their friends. Talk with them. Just learn how to converse with people of the opposite sex. Hell learn how to talk to people in general. This builds confidence, makes you more interesting, and builds charisma. Girls like a fun guy.
Avoid the nice guy trap* I'm not saying you should be a complete dick to a girl. That may get you a one night stand or a fuckbuddy, which is fine and dandy, but it's bad if you want something longer. Here is my advice I give to the men who have been unfortunate enough to find themselves in the dark depths of the friend zone.
"Be a man. Don't be the nice guy who tries to relate to her every interest. That leads to heartbreak on your part. She'll see you as a buddy, and a puppy dog. Women love a challenge. Differ to them on some grounds. Be a smart ass occasionally. Joke around with her. Just don't be an asshole. Disrespecting your girl isn't cool. It's fucking low, and you should be ashamed of it. Be the man she has been looking for. Protect her, be there for her, be strong for her, and treat her right. Be honest with her. Don't be a pussy with her. If she wanted a pussy, she would be a lesbian. Sometimes you need to get her emotions working. It builds respect for you, and an interest in you. Get her mad. Make her day. Get her wondering about you. Just don't give too much of yourself away to her, or she'll lose interest. We live in an era of instinct disguised as intellect. The same rules of nature apply. "
This is advice handy for all guys who want t meet a girl. Not just the OP, but every dude who reads this. This is basic advice. Girls send out signals of their emotions, and you learn how to recognize them with enough interaction. However, those signals are endless and no man has figured out women completely. Hell, no woman has either. I will leave you with this behemoth of a post, and wish you all good fortune.
