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Icebaby
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 •06/29/2012 10:48 PM (UTC) •
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Socially, awkward girls, especially those who get bullied on a regular basis, will nine times out of ten, be the actual killer who either has magic powers, or is a sadistic sex-changing freak of nature who's obsessed with camps.
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MKshizz
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Thanks to MINION for the sig! My name is Ian, if you really care to know.

 •06/29/2012 10:51 PM (UTC) •
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I always liked this poster:

Click
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KungLaodoesntsuck
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 •06/29/2012 10:57 PM (UTC) •
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I'm surprised nobody posted the rules from Scream yet.
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.
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 •06/30/2012 12:17 AM (UTC) •
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MKshizz Wrote:
I always liked this poster:

Click


Easily the quickest way to die in a horror film.
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Unknown265
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 •06/30/2012 01:01 AM (UTC) •
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If you're being chased by somebody who doesn't want to see you breathing, when you think you got away, do not slow down. Keep running to wherever safe place you think you're going.
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MortalMushroom
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hey

 •07/01/2012 05:07 AM (UTC) •
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If the bad guy chases you, don't fight back. You're naturally faster than them so you should run.

If you manage to get away from or somehow injure the bad guy, don't say something stupid like "See you later, asshole!" Actually, don't say anything and just get out of there.

Don't go anywhere with the popular college kids.

Reveal any skeletons you have in your closet. You may lose some respect and ruin friendships and serious relationships, but at least you probably won't die. And even if you do, at least you'll have a clean conscience.

Survival in numbers does not apply. However, if you're one of the only characters, you might not meet your fate, be it life or death, for two hours or so towards the end of the movie.

Being a douche bag pretty much guarentees you'll die. However, being a legitimately good person does not help you too much in this day and age because the director/writer (God?) doesn't want the survivors to be predictable.

You'll probably die if your profession involves hunting, searching for, documenting, or otherwise being involved with any type of monster, shark, dangerous creature, demon, vampire, ghost, serial killer, or anything else that has been known to kill. And that will most likely be the thing that kills you. Zombies may be an exception.

If you have a chance to kill it, kill it. Hesitation = death.
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Jerrod
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MKO Moderator, Story Writer, Actor
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 •07/01/2012 09:56 AM (UTC) •
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johnny1up Wrote:
If you have a chance to kill it, kill it. Hesitation = death.

To add to this point, if you're going to make sure it's dead, do so with more bullets/a bat/an axe/lighter fluid and matches. If you have none of the aforementioned items after possibly killing the being, don't creep slowly toward the body, especially if it's a supernatural being. Just run the fuck away and hope you're not in a sequel because you flew to Hawaii.
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.
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 •07/01/2012 01:01 PM (UTC) •
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ErmackDaddy Wrote:


Get rid of all lights. The killer cant murder what the killer cannot see.


I have to disagree with this one.

People get killed in the dark all the time. Hell, most of them are killed in the dark.

And this happens because they were either dumb enough to venture into an area where it's obviously difficult to see, or they were dumb enough to enter a dark house and leave the lights off.

Being in the dark will keep you from seeing, and the killer will always see you, so turn on those lights.
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McHotcakes
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"Never Stay Down"- Steve Rogers

•07/01/2012 05:44 PM (UTC) •
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When being chased by a horrible cgi bigfoot don't stop and take a picture of it, don't stop and stare at it, and don't stop and scream at it. In fact stopping at all while being chased by a horrible cgi bigfoot seems to be a bad idea in general.
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SubScorpTile
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 •07/01/2012 05:59 PM (UTC) •
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Put a clause in your contract that gives you an option to come back for the sequel. That way if they do kill you, you could come back and that would be pretty cool and is a way of surviving.
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maximus12
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 •07/01/2012 08:06 PM (UTC) •
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Stay away from windows.

Don't forget anything ever.

Don't try to escape from the killer when you're clearly safe with your gun.

If its a supernatural killer say kill me and they probably won't cause they're dumb fucks.
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Rockchalk5477
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 •07/02/2012 04:43 PM (UTC) •
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- Never say, "I'll be right back."
- Never stop your car right after you've struck the killer. Keep going, or run him over repeatedly.
- Don't go swimming (or near water) at night. (Also, don't skinny dip.)
- Stay out of the woods at night.
- Don't drop a perfectly-reasonable weapon after you've used it only once.
- Beware of turning the power back on (via breaker box.)
- Don't be blind or paraplegic.
- Beware of hospitals.
[Killswitch] Wrote: She would agree.

So would he. And this guy.
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[Killswitch]
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Shao Kahn did nothing wrong

 •07/02/2012 06:15 PM (UTC) •
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Rockchalk5477 Wrote:
- Beware of turning the power back on (via breaker box.)


She would agree.
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legoslayer10
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 •07/10/2012 05:43 AM (UTC) •
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Do not be afraid to sacrifice somebody. Some exceptions apply to people like lovers, immediate family, and very close friends, but another target is the easiest thing to take the attention off of you.
Always be in the know. The more you know, the better chance you have of finding a way out.
If you somehow obtain a gun, use shots only when necessary, chances are you won't find more ammo.
Trains. Trains are surprisingly useful, lure them onto the path of the tracks and get the fu*k out of the way, so you don't die with him.
Get anything that can provide you contact with the outside world, family, cops, or even U.S military will not hesitate to help in every way possible.
If they have no weapon, do not be afraid to fight back, but only if you see the opening and can make the shot.
If you are fighting Zombies, if you find a "viftim", get over it and steal their brains. They make good bait to drag them away, or into a trap.
Woods are the worst place to be, even if it's a possible crossroads of the enemy, take another path.
Make sure you know the nerds and such, and in a good way, as they will know ways around abilities or, if wierd enough, already have what they need to stop the enemy.
And on top of everything, make sure it's worth living afterward, because if all your friends and family die, and you're the only one left, there's no point in going on, so give it up.
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PickleMendip
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STATE FED LIES CHARM EMPTY EYES. Anon.

 •07/10/2012 05:24 PM (UTC) •
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Horror film rules are like spelling rules - there's always a damn exception!
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dmChris
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 •07/16/2012 12:03 AM (UTC) •
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Its not possible for the black guy to survive. We always get killed off first.
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.
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 •08/19/2012 04:52 AM (UTC) •
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Just thought of another tip!

Avoid little girls like the plague. In many horror films, the little girl is usually some crazy demonic little bitch who ends up getting a lot of people killed. If you see one, either get as far away from her as possible, or split her wig immediately.
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.
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 •03/18/2014 08:44 PM (UTC) •
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I've come up with another tip! Yay!

If the killer gets into your house, head to the kitchen. If the killer manages to get inside your house, and you need something to defend yourself with, head to the kitchen. Practically everything in there is a deadly weapon, so have at it.
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PickleMendip
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STATE FED LIES CHARM EMPTY EYES. Anon.

 •03/19/2014 08:17 PM (UTC) •
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Icebaby Wrote:
Socially, awkward girls, especially those who get bullied on a regular basis, will nine times out of ten, be the actual killer who either has magic powers, or is a sadistic sex-changing freak of nature who's obsessed with camps.

... or the only one left standing. Has happened quite a few times.
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wdm6789
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 •03/22/2014 03:52 PM (UTC) •
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Riyakou Wrote:
As you may not know, I am a pretty big fan of horror films, and I'd sometimes imagine what it would be like if I was in one.

Since I'm black, I'd probably be one of the first to die.

But if I manage to make it passed the first 25 minutes of the film, I would be sure to follow a particular set of rules to keep myself alive. Of course, one could use as many tips as possible, so if you know any, please post. I wanna live!

Here are mine:

1. Don't be a blonde. As I have noticed, the blonde is usually the first to die in a horror film, so if you're a blonde, and a killer is on the loose, dye your hair as black as possible.

2. Don't take a piss outside at night. If you do this, you're asking to get killed. The killer will just sneak up behind you, so hold your pee, man. You might not want to wait long enough to get home, but if you pee outside, you won't live long enough to finish.

3. Don't be the only black person. Let's be real, black people only exist in horror movies to die, so if you're black and you're going out, bring at least three of your black friends. Odds are, only one of you will be killed. The rest of you can hightail it the hell out of there.

4. No sex. The people who get dirty will get dumped in the dirt, so no sex until the killer is officially dead. If you're a virgin, good for you. Stay one.

5. If you hear a scream, run as far away from that scream as possible. Don't waste time trying to figure out who's doing the screaming. They'll be dead by the time you find them. Just get the hell out of there.

6. Get yourself a gay friend, and follow him everywhere he goes. Gay men are usually immune from being killed in horror films, so make friends with one, and you might survive. If you yourself is gay, be the leader of your group. If you're all gay, this tip is useless.

7. Never drink. The one who refuses the invitation to drink is usually the one who lives the longest. Avoid drinking to maintain all senses of judgment and coordination.

Well, those are my tips. You got any?



Blondes usually die second. Black dude dies first then the blond girl or hot girl of the group is usually second.
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.
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 •03/23/2014 12:26 AM (UTC) •
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wdm6789 Wrote:

Blondes usually die second. Black dude dies first then the blond girl or hot girl of the group is usually second.


I've often seen different.

It's usually the idiot blonde who takes off her top and flashes her boobs that dies first. The black guy usually dies second or third.


Anyhoo, I just thought of a really important tip:

Don't sleep. And this goes far beyond Freddy Krueger. People who fall asleep, especially early on in the film, become easy targets for the killer. Do whatever it takes to stay awake, whether it's smashing Red Bulls or doing a shitload of coke. lol
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.
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 •06/14/2014 04:04 AM (UTC) •
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New Tip! grin

If you hear a sound, don't talk to it. This goes especially for people who are in their own home. If you hear something fall or move, don't be an idiot and ask, "Who is that? Who's there?" You're asking to get killed. Just turn on the lights and grab the bluntest thing near you.
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Chrome
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 •06/14/2014 09:53 AM (UTC) •
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Depends. Be vary, neve go alone, avoid confrontation, lure the slow paced serial killer into traps. Always take time to plan when in a safe looking enviroment. Be armed. Tie your shoelaces and take off unnecessary clothing that may impede your movement. Dress for the environment.


If the killer is down, make sure you kill it if possible. Remember: a head is crucial for existence. If it is not, then try to inflict damage that would render the body incapable of pursuit.

Do not listen to religious qualms about killing, it is morally right to kill in self-defence. Silence those who would urge you to do otherwise. They are am hindrance by dissenting from the job at hand, which is survival.


Do not go back for people if that would put even more people in peril!!!!

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Nix Dolores
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 •06/15/2014 10:50 PM (UTC) •
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KungLaodoesntsuck Wrote:
- When you are fighting for your life, don't be afraid to eye gouge. Eye gouging can stop a fight immediately. (Killer can't kill you if he's blind.)


Reminds me of this
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MrNobody9999
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 •06/19/2014 04:46 PM (UTC) •
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If you absolutely have to hide in a closet, make sure it's the one your dad/ significant other/ whatever keeps their guns in.

Grill with propane. Chances are the killer will be standing right next to a propane tank you can explode at some point.

Take care of your car. If you do, there's less of a chance of it not starting when you turn the key.

Don't go into a condemned building to party. Party at home, in the living room. Let no one upstairs. Make sure your bathroom windows are locked. Better yet, live in an overcramped apartment building.

Have a background in martial arts, marksmanship, or archery.

Have the one brunette in the movie as a girlfriend.

If all else fails, just be the killer. You'll always show up for a sequel.
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