sucking on a straw...

Puking. Picking your nose. Picking your butt. Falling on your ass. Walking up the stairs thinking there's one more step than there actually is and taking a ginormous, goofy looking step.

I misread the title as "Impossible to Look Cool White". Reading that list I was about to ask if you lived in Alabama.



You can look cool doing that, but not if you sniff your finger right after.

You've got your pants down.

You're posting on an Internet forum.

Wearing a fedora.

Making a duck face.

Walking into a spider web and shooing it off of you.

Trying too hard to be "cool" on the internet.

Smoking.

Having a mustache. (There are only two guys that can pull off this look, and one's dead)

Not knowing what you're talking about.

Jerking your beef.

Says you!

Someone's never seen a western.

I for one hope that the type of poncho in mind was the plastic ones that are sold at amusement parks... though I suppose those aren't really ponchos.

SHOTS FIRED

-Arguing with your mother.

Struggling to open something.

Using any form of public transportation.

Standing in line at a GameStop for a midnight release.

Wearing a bicycle helmet.

Suddenly tripping on nothing while walking with friends

Farting.

Trying too hard to sound smart on the internet.

Trying too hard to sound smart... anywhere really.

Being too drunk to function.

Liking MLP.

Falling down a flight of stairs.



Says you, my friends and I make our midnight release runs memorable for being fucking awesome.

I disagree with your opinion.

You are not Tom Selleck or Freddie Mercury... There is no argument.

Impossible to look cool while:

Wearing your pants below your knees

Playing rap shit loudly in your car

Having your engine sound like a piece of shit while trying to impress others

Purposely popping a child's balloon

Trying to be cool

Being mean to others for no reason

Being mean to others with a reason

Being mean in general

Face planting into concrete on your scooter and walking away as if nothing happened as a badass with no people around to see it

(That last one obviously happened to me. It would have been cool had there been someone around to see that because that was just too funny)

Thinking any cartoon in the 90s sucked...

Hating on someone.
Eating a sandwich.
Passing out.
Waking up.
Eating soup.
Producing music (we ALL look ridiculous).
Doing the cha cha slide.

Really wish I had a juice box right about now

Impossible to look cool while...

Failing science.
Failing English.
Failing math.
Failing common sense.
Failing.
Wearing half the stuff my job sells.
Riding your BMX bike in a mall.
Being a scene kid.
Being a fake feminist.
Being a misogynist.
Being "thirsty."
Driving a PT Cruiser.
Driving a Beetle.
Driving a Mini Cooper.
Driving a Smart car.
Driving a Prius.

Chapstick.

That is all.

Smoking.